Civil Ceremony Vows

That should be totally fine! Our wedding pack had 3 or 4 options for each section of the ceremony and one of the vows options was similar to this. We ended up mixing and matching and sort of creating our own vows. You'll want to run it by the registrar but I doubt they'll have an issue with what you've got here.

That's good news!

Oh thanks. Only if it's not too much trouble. I wish our registrars sent it all out sooner.

You literally have like 3 sentences you HAVE to say, the rest is optional so you dont have to say it ?

As long as I can say what's in the OP, I'll be happy!

its a version fo that in my book yep

?

Well we wanted exactly that and the registrar point-blank refused!! Maybe Wandsworth Council are just barstewards. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Definitely check with your council ASAP so you know. Unfortunately, although they claim that the rules are the same for every council, they DEFINITELY AREN'T. I wish I'd been able to get proof that other councils would allow that wording before our wedding to try and persuade the registrar to let us, but I couldn't.

We had to fudge the wording until they were happy; so they wouldn't let us have "for better, for worse" but they allowed "in good times and bad", "whether healthy or sick", "in joy and in sorrow" and "in prosperity and in hardship".

I don't understand that. Surely it should be the same across the country. Anyone know if I can have that wording in Kent?!

Only if it's without tongues!

I like that personal promise bit, saying 'I will'. That's missing from ours.

I spent fricking ages writing a load of vow options that I pinched from here, there and everywhere and now have no idea where I saved it. Bum.

Scratch that, found it as email draft. We wanted a mixture of the modern and traditional, but obvs taking out the religious stuff and putting in the proper legalities. I think this is what we decided on:

Oxfordshire wouldn't let us use those words either - basically anything which is taken from the religious service, regardless of whether it mentioned God or not, was not allowed.

We used the traditional versions of the legal declarations and vows, and then added a few more personal bits at the end.

I agree it should be the same across the country. But it clearly isn't.

We picked the most traditional-sounding of the legal contracting words, so:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, ... may not be joined in matrimony to ...

and

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I... do take thee ... to be my lawful wedded husband/wife

then we had the 'optional' bits... so instead of the for better for worse bit, we had:

I promise in the presence of our families and friends to stay by your side as your faithful husband / wife through the good times and the bad; in prosperity and in hardship, in joy and in sorrow, whether healthy or sick. All that I have, and all that I am, I give to you; I promise to love you without reservation, to comfort you in times of need, to be open and honest with you always, and to honour and cherish you for as long as I shall live.

and then we had the ring exchange:

Do you, ... accept this ring as a symbol of our love and the promises made here today? (reply: I do)

It was the best we could do since they wouldn't accept the wording in your opening post which was what we wanted. I do hope Kent let you have it, but if not, hope our alternate helps you. We got some of it from vows we found online and mixed and matched until it was close to what we wanted.

edit: can't remember the exact order, but those were the 4 'parts' to our ceremony.

Nope, we're not allowed it. So disappointed. We are having a blessing shortly after the ceremony, so perhaps we'll get to say those words afterall.

This is the response I've received:

The guidelines we work under for the ceremony are set down by the General Register Office For England and Wales. The part of the ceremony which you are enquiring about comes from the following part of the GRO guidelines:-

(a) Civil marriage ceremonies must not be religious in nature: whilst any inclusion (reading, music etc) that contains an incidental reference to a god or deity would be acceptable, the reading or piece of music in which such a reference is contained must be essentially non-religious in context. No civil marriage ceremony should include extracts from an authorised religious marriage service or readings from sacred religious texts, hymns or other religious chants, involve any religious rituals or any form of worship. For this purpose any material used by way of introduction to the ceremony or by way of conclusion to it is included in these provisions.

As the words you are choosing are set down and chosen by the Church Of England for their marriage ceremony, it is not permitted for us as civil marriage registrars, to also use that wording. The only thing I can suggest is to slightly alter the words so that it differs from the religious one, but this is a decision that you need to make together, email your different wording to us and your choice could then be approved as being suitable.

What an absolute pile of pants ?

No idea what our options will be yet as not meeting reguistrar for another few weeks, but I was wondering (and sorry for the thread hijack) if anyone knew if we could each say different vows if we felt more comfortable with that? IE we both pick from the registrars list (not sure we are into writing our own) but wanted to use different ones? or personalise them differently.

I'm sure you'll find something RB! Maybe by personalising them you'll be able tomake them even more 'right'

DM xx

Yes you can use different vows, but you must include the legal 'declaration' and 'contracting' words. You get to pick one option out of the three.

Right, I've sent a variation across. Fingers crossed that it gets approved. I'll let you know.

Thanks FMJ, that's good to know!

Fingers crossed RB - good luck!