Civil wedding readings/vows

If you do a google search (e.g., readings for civil service, alternative wedding readings, funny wedding readings) you will get absolutely loads of results. That's all I did and I found all our 3 readings that way.

We just did the basic vows, too shy to write our own and didn't like the suggested ones, so can't help you there.

I'd love to be able to tell you what we're using but haven't found anything that we want yet! I found some nice vows on Pinterest (nice but not too slushy) but every reading I find just doesn't 'fit' us somehow.

I just found this reading, I love it

Yes, I'll Marry You
Pam Ayres

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the dog starts to whine,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our Labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

We are just having the standard vows, and considering having our son read this:

A Lovely Love Story - By Edward Monkton

I wanted something I thought most people weren't familiar with, and because there were aspects of our vows/ceremony that were super soppy we wanted a reading that wasn't overly so and went with this:

• by W. H. Auden (****)

Some talk of Alexander
And some of Fred Astaire,
Some like their heroes hairy
Some like them debonair,
Some prefer a curate
And some an A.D.C.,
Some like a tough to treat’em rough,
But you’re my cup of tea.

Some are mad on Airedales
And some on Pekinese,
On tabby cats or parrots
Or guinea pigs or geese.
There are patients in asylums
Who think that they’re a tree;
I had an aunt who loved a plant,
But you’re my cup of tea.

Some have sagging waistlines
And some a bulbous nose
And some a floating kidney
And some have hammer toes,
Some have tennis elbow
And some have housemaid’s knee,
And some I know have got B.O.,
But you’re my cup of tea.

The blackbird loves the earthworm,
The adder loves the sun,
The polar bear an iceberg,
The elephant a bun,
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you’re my cup of tea.

I think we're going with the extract from Captain Corelli's Mandolin too! Also maybe this one from Jane Eyre, although my mum says she's found one from a Shakespeare sonnet too...

I have for the first time found what I can truly love – I have found you. You are my sympathy – my better self—my good angel—I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wraps my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.

When we got our pack from the registrar they had lots of suggested readings in there.

Foo, we're having the lovely dinosaur too. One of my BMs is reading it, Id not heard of it until I read it when it was sat in her bathroom!!

I want FFIL to read something too but dont know what, he's great with poetry so might get him to read something he's chosen.

Anyone else not having any readings? nothing seems right, all perfectly lovely for other weddings but just seem a bit cringy for us. The only one we have considered and not yet completely written off is the lyirics to the Mumford & Sons song 'I take your hand' (with bits edited) (word bless might have to go to)

Oh now i have read it i want it back in haha! opinions please?!

Kentish Gal - I really like that reading, I might just have to pinch it!

I will be having 2 readings, both will be written by the reader.

My sister is doing one, and she is very creative and has written poems for years

OH friend, who is in a band is doing the other reading, and he has opted to write his too

If this wasn't the case, I would've googled it