Completely un-cheesy readings for wedding ceremony (X Posted)

We had 'O tell me the truth about love' by WH Auden - nice with a bit of humour thrown in http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/o-tell-me-the-truth-about-love/, which I don't think was cheesy (although someone might disagree ?)

My friend had one by Edward Monk about dinosaurs (I think). It was quite funny. I'll see if I can find it.

I was close! It's this one..

A Lovely Love Story ~ by Edward Monkton ~

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, HIS cage.

Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.

The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur's cage with kind words and loving thoughts.

I like this Dionsaur, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.

I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.

But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.

He is also overly fond of Things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of Things?

But her mind skips from here to there so quickly, thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on Shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?

I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for Things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.

I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thought and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them.

Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my frends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.

For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place

Thanks ladies, I like both of them, we'll see what OH's response is ;o)

We had one sentimental one and the other was "Yes I'll marry you my dear" by Pam Ayres

We had a reading from Captain Corelli's Mandolin:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Our friend Dave who was there with his daughter read it for us, brilliantly.

We had one by Thomas a Kempis which I think is on a lot of wedding reading websites / books but it isn't too soppy (I don't think!).

Love is a mighty power,
a great and complete good.
Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth.
It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders
all bitterness sweet and acceptable.

Nothing is sweeter than love,
Nothing stronger,
Nothing higher,
Nothing wider,
Nothing more pleasant,
Nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God.

Love flies, runs and leaps for joy.
It is free and unrestrained.
Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds.
Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil,
attempts things beyond its strength.

Love sees nothing as impossible,
for it feels able to achieve all things.
It is strange and effective,
while those who lack love faint and fail.

Love is not fickle and sentimental,
nor is it intent on vanities.
Like a living flame and a burning torch,
it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle.

I read Pablo Neruda's 'I do not love you' at my friends wedding, not too fluffy but such a lovely reading.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

We had this one - didn't want an over sentimental reading and loved the fact that it seemed to celebrate independence in relationships:

Always Love Each Other

If you can always be as close
And as happy as today,
Yet be secure enough to grow
And change along the way.

If you can keep for you alone
Your love as man and wife,
Yet find the time to share your joy
With others in your life.

If you can be as one
And walk through marriage hand in hand,
Yet still support the goals and dreams
That each of you have planned.

If you can dare to always go
Your separate ways together,
Then all the wonder of today
Will stay with you forever.

(by Larry S Chengges)

We had the one from Captain Corelli's Mandolin and this one from Simon Armitage:

Let me put it this way:
if you came to lay

your sleeping head
against my arm or sleeve,

and if my arm went dead,
or if I had to take my leave

at midnight, I should rather
cleave it from the joint or seam

than make a scene
or bring you round.

There,
how does that sound?

We had:

He never leaves the seat up …

He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!

She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!

He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!

He romances her and dines her
Home cooked dinners and the like
He even knows her favourite food
And spoils her day and night!

She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!

He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?

She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!

They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!

All that said and done
They love the time they spent together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.

He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.

and

I rely on you
like a Skoda needs suspension
like the aged need a pension
like a trampoline needs tension
like a bungee jump needs apprehension
I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter
I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve
I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
I rely on you
like a water vole needs water
like a brick outhouse needs mortar
like a lemming to the slaughter
Ryan's just Ryan without his daughter
I rely on you

We had the Lovely Love Story, which got a few giggles from the congregation, and the Apache Wedding Blessing:

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Our dads read one each so we had 2, the Captain Corelli's Mandolin 'Love is a temporary madness' 1 and this

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

We had "I reely on you" by Hovis Presley - Ashke has copied the text above. It's a great reading, and we're not sentimental types so it suited us perfectly.

We had three readings - none of which are cheesy (I hope!)

1) Union by Robert Fulghum (posted by em-ster)

2) Extract from Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)

"You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.:

3) No Matter What (Debi Gliori)

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said “I’m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all”. “Oh Small,” said Large. “Grumpy or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Small said, “If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?” “Of course,” said Large “bear or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Small said “But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?” “Of course,” said Large “bug or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

“No matter what?” said Small, and smiled, “What if I was a crocodile?” Large said “I’d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night”.

“Does love wear out” said Small, “does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?” “Oh help,” said Large “I’m not that clever I just know I’ll love you forever”.

Small said “but what about when you’re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?” Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright. “Small look at the stars – how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies”.

We had 'He wishes for the cloths of heaven' first, for the more serious bit:

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Then once we'd said our vows my FIL did a fab reading of A Lovely Love Story which had everyone giggling (and lots of people asking if we'd changed it at all because it fit the 2 of us so well).

We had 'I Wanna Be Yours' by John Cooper Clarke.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion

We also had 'I Want To Grow Old With You' from The Wedding Singer playing while we signed the register, which I think would also make a great reading.

I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.

I'll get you medicine,
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
Growin' old with you.

I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you.

I wanna grow old with you.

Thanks all! You've given me lots of inspiration ?

We had this one too! It really seemed to sum up our relationship. We also had one which was based on the bible reading from 1 Corinthians - I always loved that reading but we had a civil ceremony so couldn't use it, so the poem was the next best thing.

As well as others, we had this one: (we had quite an unconventional ceremony though, you can read it here if it gives you any more inspiration)

MARRIAGE

Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and Sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About Sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It's about being strong when you're feeling quite weak
It's about saying nothing when you're dying to speak
It's about being wrong when you know you are right
It's about giving in, before there's a fight
It's about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call if you know how that's done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it's all spent
And for you two today it's about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you'll discover that marriage is madness.

This might be a bit sentimental - we chose it partly because it meant we could have the words 'ecstasy-producing dance' fly under the radar in our ceremony.

Amo Ergo Sum

Because I love
The sun pours out its rays of living gold
Pours out its gold and silver on the sea.

Because I love
The earth upon her astral spindle winds
Her ecstasy-producing dance.

Because I love
Clouds travel on the winds through wide skies,
Skies wide and beautiful, blue and deep.

Because I love
Wind blows white sails,
The wind blows over flowers, the sweet wind blows.

Because I love
The ferns grow green, and green the grass, and green
The transparent sunlit trees.

Because I love
Larks rise up from the grass
And all the leaves are full of singing birds.

Because I love
The summer air quivers with a thousand wings,
Myriads of jewelled eyes burn in the light.

Because I love
The iridescnt shells upon the sand
Takes forms as fine and intricate as thought.

Because I love
There is an invisible way across the sky,
Birds travel by that way, the sun and moon
And all the stars travel that path by night.

Because I love
There is a river flowing all night long.

Because I love
All night the river flows into my sleep,
Ten thousand living things are sleeping in my arms,
And sleeping wake, and flowing are at rest.

Bumping an oldie from 2009! I'm looking for something for my brother to read - he's ladish and nervous ... I want something light hearted and a bit cool

I quite this one:

We had this one too, I hate cheese and this was one of the only readings that didn't make me cringe. We decided to only have one, but I love the Captain Correlli's Mandolin one too.

This has brought tears to my eyes Peanut. I love it but I'd have been a blubbering wreck if we'd had it at our wedding!

Ashke_again

I love the reading 'He never leaves the seat up' we weren't sure if we were going to have a reading at our ceremony, after seeing your post we've decided to go for this reading as it fits us to a T!!

Thank you x x

Someone mentioned way back in the thread that they wanted 'the legal minimum' - I didn't think you legally had to have a reading?? Someone correct me if I'm wrong?

ATB you are correct, the legal minimum doesn't include any readings.

Minicupcake - we had 'he never leaves the seat up' at our wedding as it did describe us two perfectly too.

We also had the one that starts 'when the one who's hand your holding is the one who holds your heart' can't remember the rest

Thank you, I'd never heard of a marriage only being legal if there was a reading!

My pet hate is the dinosaur reading. Heard it so many times, zzzzzzz. (apologies to those who've had it!)

I'm not planning on having any readings, it's a Church of Scotland service.

I liked quite a few but didn't want anything to long. We picked two from our RO book and they were both read by our registrar. I loved them.

Once in a lifetime you find someone

Who touches not only your heart, but

Also your soul

Once in a lifetime you discover someone who

Stands beside you not over you

You find someone who loves you

for who you are

Not who you could be

Once in a lifetime you find someone

As you have found each other

And

I want to be your friend forever and ever

When the hills are all flat and the Rivers

Are all dry

When the trees blossom in winter

And the snow falls in summer

When heaven and earth mix

Not till then will I part from you

We're having our celebrant read this to lead us in to our vows. Had to do a little tweaking. Though it might have been quite comedy if she accidentally read our the 'this is my husband' line!