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*Pugsley*
Beginner March 2014

cyber widow

*Pugsley*, 13 April, 2013 at 23:26 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 6
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Firstly can I say that I do get the irony of this post, going on an online forum.

I feel like a cyber widow and I'm not even married yet.

My bf spends all his time on his laptop. He's not up to anything dodgy like dating sites or anything, it's either facebook, bbc sport website or more often than not championship manager (I can see his screen at all times).

Almost all our time spent at home he has his laptop open and it's got to the point where I've found myself doing the same as I feel like I'm alone in the house otherwise.

We both work fairly long hours and sit at computers most of the day but then he gets home and his laptop goes straight on. He then stays on it till about 12/1am week days or 2am weekends as he brings it up to bed with him. I think it's affecting our relationship and (tmi??) our sex life as he's always on the bloody thing.

I've jokingly said about how I think it's affecting our sex life coz he is on it literally every night in bed so I feel like I'm alone in bed but he doesn't see my point of view. I've also said I think it's affecting my sleep as the light is so bright and the keys so loud but he thinks I'm just being difficult.

Please, please tell me if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and I'll try to shift my attitude but I'm really, seriously, completely fed up of this habit we r both in which I can't see a way of breaking.

Like most nights I've gone to bed ahead of him to watch what I want on tv and coz I don't feel like I'm missing out on being with him coz he's sat down there on his laptop playing championship manager anyway... not good.

Anyway rant over. Not really sure what the point of this post was other than to get this off my chest coz I feel so fed up with the way things r and with no end to it in sight.

Thanks for listening/reading anyway if you've made it to the end of my moan.

6 replies

Latest activity by *Pugsley*, 14 April, 2013 at 17:18
  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    You are being completely reasonable. Laptops are for downstairs times, not for nighty upstairs times. Put your foot down.

    How do you do dinner, if he's on his computer?

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  • *Pugsley*
    Beginner March 2014
    *Pugsley* ·
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    Maybe 5 nights out of 7 I cook. He cooks the other 2 (in between laptop usage!). The laptop gets put down whilst we eat and then as soon as we finish it gets picked up again.

    I think I've made a rod for my own back now though as I also go on my laptop now because I feel I might as well seing as he is and also because I've let him get away with it so long.

    I pretty much know that if I actually bring this subject up with him he'll say that I'm also on my laptop some nights so I'm to blame too... not exactly constructive.

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  • Aurora Borealis
    Beginner June 2013
    Aurora Borealis ·
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    Maybe you could suggest one night a week where you both put the laptops away? Then make it a really nice evening where you spend time together and he sees what he's missing out on.

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    We can both be quite bad for spending a lot of time online, but it's off limits in the bedroom, maybe you could suggest this? *said whilst secretly hitching under the covers while H is asleep ?*

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  • pandorasbox
    Beginner August 2012
    pandorasbox ·
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    My hubby is the same. He works on a computer all day from 6am often getting back anytime between 7-9. As soon as he is in, on goes the laptop. His reason is because I watch the soaps so it gives him something to do, but even when that 30 mins is over he is engrossed in sky sports news or something.

    In fact every night this week (apart from 1 when we actually ate out and had a conversation) we have sat and ignored each other for the TV/laptop. Even when we got back from the meal it's straight online. It's at the stage where today I intend to have a chat with him about it as I feel like the invisible woman at the moment! Yesterday he was out at football all day, came in drunk at 8, went to bed by 10 so that was kind of the final straw for me.

    I would suggest for you - and myself - a 'no gadgets night' where anything distracting goes away and you sit together with a glass of wine or hot choc and maybe a film, or just play a game like 20 questions or something. Anything so that you are actually looking at each other instead of a screen.

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  • *Bea*
    Beginner October 2011
    *Bea* ·
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    Not unreasonable at all people spend far too much time online , me included. I always come on when he is watching/ doing something I'm not interested in and vice versa.

    Do you have a dog? I ask because H and I always do the early evening walk together and it gives us a great opportunity to catch up and talk with no distractions.

    We also tend to have a few program's we both enjoy watching together so for example we tend to spend Saturday mornings getting jobs etc done together, saturday afternoons by ourselves for 'me' time but then we get together early evening for dinner and a night in in front of tv.

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  • *Pugsley*
    Beginner March 2014
    *Pugsley* ·
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    Thanks for the advice girls. I think 'invisible woman' sums it up perfectly.

    I think I will suggest a night with no laptops and we'll play a game or watch a film together with no distractions or something like that. I need to also stay away from laptop as well!

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