Dad diagnosed with cancer, can't make wedding abroad

I'm so sorry you've had such bad news. My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer a couple of years ago. I don't know what cancer your dad has or the prognosis but I do know that if I was marrying at that time and it was all arranged he would have wanted me to go ahead with it. I've also been on the other side of the fence in that I was diagnosed with breast cancer not long after dad. Had one of my kids been marrying I would also have wanted them to go and do it and been happy for them. None of us knows what is around the corner for us and I'm a firm believer now that we shouldn't put things off.

You could have your dream wedding and throw a family party when you return. You could possibly Skype the service to your parents so they feel they are a part of it from their own home. Face time them after the wedding. You can make them feel a part of it.

i eloped to Lapland last week. We told our family we were marrying there while on holiday not long before we went. We didn't want anyone with us except the two friends as witnesses who were already coming on the holiday. This was first and foremost my finished treatment bucket list trip with a personal service for us two. However I left everyone cake and wine to join us at a certain time on the day, and we sent some photos on the same day.

all of these things maybe an option for you.

There will always be someone who will say you should cancel but on a practical point alone if you lose 50% of the cost how long will it take to enable to afford it again and how long do you leave it?

Have your dream wedding I say. He may not be able to be with you, but he will be able to see you enjoy it and celebrate with you afterwards.

Big virtual hugs. Anytime you want to talk feel free to give me a yell or if you want my email address for privacy that's fine also. Xx

Thank you for your kind reply.

I'm just worried I'm going to lose the people important to me over this by trying to accommodate everyone but that's not possible. I have family members saying cancel, and my parents saying go ahead.

You will never please everyone. And you will have to develop a thick skin and ignore the people who will inevitably think you're in the wrong no matter what you decide. The only people who matter in this situation in my opinion is you and your partner and your parents who are the main people affected and who are telling you to go and do it.

Cancer treatment is awful. I watched my dad go through it and I experienced it firsthand myself. I also watched my son go through it.

maybe your parents can still make a fuss of the day. Dress up a little, watch on Skype, chat with you afterwards, have a drink and cake when you do. Feel a part of the day even tho they aren't with you. Then you can have a lovely party afterwards.

I'm loathe to say this, and I hope he makes a full recovery as the 3 of us have done, but if not he 'saw' you get married.

The other thing to do is to speak to your partner and find her opinions. Also what you would lose. Is rescheduling an option. How long would you have to wait. Personally if your parents want you to go ahead I would do so with no guilt. And make it as special as possible for your parents even tho they can't be there. Xx

The other thing to do is to speak to your partner and find her opinions. Also what you would lose. Is rescheduling an option. How long would you have to wait. Personally if your parents want you to go ahead I would do so with no guilt. And make it as special as possible for your parents even tho they can't be there. Xx

Thansk for the above - Ive spoken to her and she's understandbly heartbroken - its so close and everything is booked. A few people have siad rearrange it to the UK, but its doing it all again and making her settle on something she doesn't really want.

Personally I wouldn't cancel. It's a tough decision but the wedding you have booked is the one you both want. I would have a face to face chat with your siblings and explain you have spoken to your parents and they want you to go ahead and if they can't come you understand but you really need their support. Your dad will no doubt be sad he can't be there but he would be heartbroken knowing you are just settling with the UK. I assume moving the date is not an option? I really feel for you and I wish your dad a full and speedy recovery. Cancer effects too many families and I can sympathise as I have been there myself with my mum and best friend having it, keep your chin up and keep him smiling x

I would go ahead also. Maybe having your mum there when you speak to them would reassure them that it's what your parents want. Weddings are a lot of money and a long time in the planning. It's not that easy to just 'move it to the UK' and hopefully it will be the only wedding you have so it should be something you want. Ultimately it's about you and your partner. X

Can you please update the outcome? thank you