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Curious June 2022 Cambridgeshire

Day or evening guest?

Expensivepurplebridesmaid50886, 20 January, 2020 at 21:29 Posted on Planning 0 2

Help! Me and my h2b are stuck on who should be coming to the day and who should be coming to the evening!

my h2b has a large group of friends. Some we see very often and some we see maybe once or twice a year. They are in the same friendship group and have been friends since school. We were thinking to invite all of them and their partners to the day though are now having second thoughts. My h2bs best man has started organising the stag do, he’s sent out a message to all of the boys, but there are a few of them that have read the message and not replied which I think my partner feels quite disappointed about. Do we just invite the boys that have responded and are willing to go on the stag do to the day and have the others as evening guests. Or do we just have them all to the day? I don’t want to come across as being petty but I’m kind of looking at it as if they aren’t willing to pay to go on a stag do to celebrate my partner getting married then why should we scrimp and scrape together so they can come to our wedding.

2 replies

Latest activity by YourWeddingFilmed, 20 February, 2020 at 14:58
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    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    First of all, I wouldn't base an invite to the wedding on whether or not someone comes to your stag/hen do. People may have very good reasons for not attending (including maybe not being able to afford it).

    In general, if you are inviting people from a group of friends, you're meant to give them all the same invite. Otherwise, you risk offending those who just get invited to the evening. But I think you can get away with it if there is a clear division between those friends you see regularly and those you see occasionally. So, for example, if you see a couple of these friends every month and the rest you only see annually, you could invite the first group to the whole day and the rest to the evening. But if you see a couple monthly, a couple every couple of months, a couple more two or three times a year...where do you draw the line?

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    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    I agree with the above person. Not everyone can afford to go to the stag do/hen do and the wedding. It’s expensive for guests by the time they’ve bought you a present, bought an outfit, hair, make up, travel, accommodation. People often have to pick between attending the hen do/stag do or the wedding.

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    YourWeddingFilmed ·
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    I agree with the above replies, there can often be a variety of reasons for people not replying or not wanting to or able to come on a stag or hen do.

    I think if you were originally intending to invite them all and their partners and you are able to make room for them all then still do it! As mentioned guests still have to spend to come to your big day on travel, gifts, accommodation, drinks and outfits.

    Have a fantastic wedding day Smiley smile

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