Deciding on Bridesmaids

Hi hun

You said it yourself - cost.

A typical BM needs:

a dress,

shoes,

hair,

make up,

jewellery,

hair accessories,

handbag,

and a gift.

Can you really afford to splash out all that on someone you hardly know and will probably very rarely see in the future?

In all liklihood, she probably wouldn't even think that she would be considered for a BM role. There's already a way of including her, as you said, in the Hen Party.

As she is more of an acquaintance than a friend, she is probably only expecting an Evening Invitation; we have a similar problem, but with family we hardly see, and they are getting just an Evening Invitation as we are on a strict budget and we would rather spend the money for the expensive wedding breakfast on our closer friends.

We are the ones paying for our wedding, so we are the ones that make the call on who gets an all day invite as opposed to evening only. Although I don't want to cause ructions in the family, I don't see why I should invite cousins I don't see, and who don't even reciprocate with a Christmas card! They will be made very welcome to the evening party, but at £58 per head for the daytime, I would rather have the people we are closest to.

Sorry if I sound like a heartless old cow, but at the end of the day, someone has to work very hard to pay for all of this, most likely you and your other half!

Love

Ali

I had some trouble deciding on bridesmaids too. I started with four in my head and then only asked two.

HappyPinkHair15172 is right about the cost - it's not just the dress, it's all the other stuff too. Also, trying to choose dresses gets more difficult when more people need to be involved.

In the end, I talked through with my fiance what I actually needed from my bridesmaids and what I expected them to help with. If you are buying them a dress etc. and giving them a position in the wedding party, they need to actually be helpful on the day. My view is that being a bridesmaid means you do need to do something other than just stand there and look nice.

I'd recommend thinking about what would be helpful to you on the day, and who the best people are to do that. For me, I have picked (a) a person who has great attention to detail and I could trust to make sure I had everything I needed, and (b) a person who is light-hearted, and who I know will make sure I don't forget to pause and have fun getting ready, even if I get a bit stressed out.

If this other lady doesn't really add anything to the day, I don't think it is worth the extra cost.

I am lucky! Second time older Bride, so my adult daughters are my MOH and BM. They will be walking me down the aisle as my parents are no longer with us, although I have managed to find some tiny hanging photo frames to have a pic of my parents on their wedding day hanging from each of our bouquets.

My eldest will be MOH - she is super sensible, organised and has great attention to detail. She works as a Marketing Manager so she will be on the ball big time! Youngest daughter is the BM, she knows how to keep things light hearted and make sure that I am relaxed and looking my best on the day. She's more creative, and has a flair for make up, so that's her big job on the day!

Although I have lots of friends and a younger sister, I just wanted my girls with me on such a special day. We are very close as I brought them up on my own, although they get on great with my hubby to be!