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Dental phobia - can anybody help?

Notquiteme, 3 March, 2013 at 12:08 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 11

Even though I'm not a 'regular' poster here (more of a lurker with a few hundred posts to my name), I'm still too embarrassed to post this under my usual username. In fact, it's taken me a week or so to pluck up the courage to post it at all.

My teeth are in a bit of a state and it's got to the point where I know can't carry on ignoring the problem much longer. It's affecting my confidence and I worry about the potential effect it's having on my general health too. The problem is I'm terrified of going to the dentist. Not just a little apprehensive, I mean really petrified. The thought of just picking up the phone to book an appointment makes me feel sick, and the thought of actually being in the chair makes me feel really panicky and teary (I'm actually welling up as I'm writing this). Add to this the shame and embarrassment I feel about letting things get to this point.

I guess my fears stem from a traumatic experience at the dentist as a child. After that, I used to get so hysterical at the mere mention of going back that in the end I think my parents just gave up on trying to get me there. God, how I now wish they hadn't. I have plucked up the courage to visit a few more times as I've been older but have found the whole experience so traumatic that I've always given up without having the treatment I need finished. Now I'm back to square one again. Right now it's all I can think about and I'm starting to feel so down about it.

Please can anyone give any advice about what I can do to get over my fear? It's no use telling me about why I should go (other health issues etc) as I know all this. It's the actual getting there I need help with.

Thanks for listening.

11 replies

Latest activity by Jennifer, 16 May, 2024 at 08:29
  • Pittabre
    Pittabre ·
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    I hate people that say JFDI because if it was as simple as that you wouldn't be in that situation in the first place?

    You can go through your GP who will refer you to an NHS dentsit that specifically deals with people with dental phobias. I had to see one recently - not because of dental phobia but because of a jaw problem that I have. They are exceptionally calm and patient, which actually caused a massive misunderstanding at first because they were dealing with me as if I had a phobia as opposed to not being able to open my mouth wide.

    I had to fill in a survery askign lots of questions to get me thinking about why I was frightened/nervous and what caused heightened issues etc. They were superb.

    It will be a lot easier than you except to find someone sympathetic mainly because not visiting a dentist will cause more long term health problems and cost the NHS more money than helping someone with a phobia does.

    I hope that helps but please feel free to ask any other questions?

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  • BarcaGirl25
    Beginner April 2014
    BarcaGirl25 ·
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    Hi!

    i too am petrified. Not of dentists but of anywhere where there are needles. I won't go even tho it's detrimental to my health. Even if they aren't going to use the needle on me I sstill know its somewhere and it paralyses me with fear. I too suffered a childhood trauma, it's hard to forget them!

    i was suffering incredible tooth ache for about 3 years and I would make appointments and not go. Eventually I managed to get myself there but before hand I rang up and explained how scared I was and asked to go at a quieter time so I wouldn't get myself even more worked up.

    i went and honestly it wasn't as bad as I had built it up in my head to be. Often times it can get worse and worse in your head because your fear builds in the unknown of what will happen.

    definitely get your GP to refer you to a dentist who will be more used to dealin with the phobia. Mine was great with me and accepted I would take longer because I was scared.

    good luck! Sorry this was more of a sympathy post than actually any help but you aren't alone :-)

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  • sophkitten
    Beginner May 2015
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    I too am pretty scared of the dentist, I had to go when I was 18 as had the most excruciating toothache but got referred to a clinic where I had tooth out under sedation...was brilliant and felt like I was drunk afterwards lol.

    I hated my regular dentist so gave up going and only started going back to a new dentist end of last year as I was having a similar problem with bad toothache. I am going to a sedation clinic again next week to have this pesky tooth taken out too as I told my new dentist I was too nervous to go through it with standard anaesthetic as I have a MAJOR thing about things being pulled out...eeeuurrgghh makes me shudder lol. But I had my first ever filling done a few months ago and was really not too bad, just closed my eyes and deep breathing helped.

    There are definitely people who can help you if you have a severe phobia, definitely speak to your GP or find a local dental practice and speak to them to see what they can do to help. Smiley smile

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  • Gillsy
    Beginner April 2010
    Gillsy ·
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    Reading your post sounded very like myself at stages. I too stopped going to the dentist years ago, not so much about a fear of the dentist themselves but of needles which I have a big phobia about.

    I got to the stage where I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer. I was having nightmares about it, waking up in the middle of the night and lying worrying about it for ages. Finally I broke a tooth and it forced me to find a dentist and face my fears. My old dentist wouldnt see me due to the time that had lapsed. I was quite upset about this as he was the only dentist id had since a little girl and, as if it wasnt hard enough sucking up the courage to go to the dentist at all, it was much harder to go to somebody i didnt know. luckily i managed to get an NHS dentist pretty easily and I told them when I went to sign up that I was petrified. They said that's normal and they assigned me a lovely female dentist.

    I thought my teeth were a mess. In actual fact they are not. I got a filling for my broken tooth and made an appointment with the hygienist to get a good old clean and honestly I feel so much better for doing it. I still don't like the dentist but I tolerate it and its been a weight off my shoulders knowing I'm looking after my teeth. No more nightmares and broken sleep.

    Its so worth it but I understand the position you are in.

    Wishing you the best of luck. You're not alone here!!!!

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  • PinkLady3
    Beginner September 2014
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    You need to find a considerate dentist who you feel you could build your trust with - ask your family and friends if they would recommend their dentist.

    Do you know of a dental sedation clinic by you? They are a bit pricier but worth it x

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  • AmnesiaCustard
    Beginner June 2011
    AmnesiaCustard ·
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    My H sees a specialist dentist and has sedation for procedures. He is absolutley fine with this - show him a "normal" dentist and they have no chance opf doing anything much.

    I have a private dentist which, though, expensive, is an absolute darling and has restored my faith in dentists. When I was a child (yep, with the dinosaurs) my dentist didsnlt believe in anaesthetics for children needing fillings as it was a waste of money. OW! So I got pretty scared, but good dentists as an adult have cuired me.

    I do hope you can find a way to get your dental health sorted. And don't be embarrassed at all. It's pretty common and nothing to be ashamed about - and anyway we are all here to give you vibes and support you!

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
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    My status this morning was about toothache, ive not been to the dentist since I was 19 for a regular appointment though I have been for 2 emergency ones in the intervening years.

    You need to be honest with the dentist about your fears, they cant help unless they know. Your GP could also possible pescribe something to relax you?

    Dont be embarrassed, a phobia is a phobia. You just need to remember this is a learned behavior and you CAN unlearn it.

    Good Luck.

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  • leni-lw!
    Beginner November 2011
    leni-lw! ·
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    I've the same phobia and I've 3 filling to be done thurs night ? he has to do them all in one go otherwise id never go back.. I really feel your pain with your phobia.. I didn't know there was a sedation clinic/dentist thingy until I posted the same phobia few weeks back.. good luck

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  • N
    Beginner
    Notquiteme ·
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    Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement everyone. It's also really good to 'hear' from peope who've experienced similar.

    I talked to OH about it all last night (and when I say 'talked', I actually mean I broke down into a sobbing, hyperventilating mess!). I've actually never really discussed it with him before. He was great and says he'll help me look into all my options and come with me to all my appointments etc if I need him there.

    As a first step, I'm ringing this morning to book an appointment with my GP as you lovely ladies have suggested. As scared as I might be, it actually feels good knowing that I'm taking the first steps to (hopefully) sort things out. Feeling quite positive this morning.

    Thanks again everyone - you're the best ?

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  • Barefoot
    Beginner August 2012
    Barefoot ·
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    I'm also severely phobic of dentists. Had to go in Jan due to big problems, and I was crying and shaking as OH took me. They are referring me to a specialist for sedation since they agree that there's no way they will be able to treat me otherwise. Still waiting for the referral, and I know I'll be in tears again and gripping OH's hand for all I'm worth, but at least if I don't know or remember what they do, it may not be too bad.

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  • L
    LuxuriousGoldCars72103 ·
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    Hey,

    I've had a similar phobia for many years, which has resulted in my oral health suffering! One organisation i've heard of that's quite good is https://www.dentalphobia.co.uk/. Wonder if there's anyone from there that can help?

    Let us know how you get on Smiley smile

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