Destination (ish) wedding- how to say no kids

I wouldnt have a rule of under ones as you are then opening up a route for people to try and persuade you to allow their other children, and also, that seems harder to swallow (to me as a parent) that one child is invited and not the other, however, if your bridal party have these age children you could allow them but I would make them flower girl/page boys so that they are part of the bridal party and then you can use that as your rule as to who is allowed, as it is possble your best man may be in an akward position if his child is nto there and his partner has to stay home to look after them. Or if you speak to them in advance and they are happy not bringing the children then you dont have to include them.

It is perfectly acceptable for you to have no children, it is your day so should be your rules. That said I think you need to be prepared that some people may decline purely because some may not be confortable attending a wedding that is far away from their kids, is not ligistically easy to organise childcare for an extended period as I assume it will mean them being away for a couple of days.

you could word it like:

in order for all our guests, including parents, to enjoy a day of relaxation we regrettably cannot extend our invitation to any children other than those in the bridal party. We hope this advance notice will allow you sufficent time to make arrangements for childcare. We apologise for any upset or inconvenience but we very much hope you will be able to attend our special day and enjoy a day off celebrating with us!

Just be certain the ones who may not come are not essential as you could then end up opening the flood gates. My cousin had a no child rule but then said it was ok for one person which caused a lot of issues with other family members to the point that 3 people did not come out of principal that their child was not invited and another ones were. It is a political minefield, but ss long as you are happy with your choice and are happy to accept some people may not come then go with it.

Could you potentially do some research on reputable babysitters in the area and share these on your wedding website?

A destination wedding might cause some upset/difficulties in getting full weekend childcare, and people may want to bring their kids to enjoy the rest of the weekend that's not the wedding as presumably they will be shelling out on accommodation. It might be nice to highlight the option to hire a babysitter local to the venue.

I would simply state that the wedding is going to be adult-only. Saying things like 'to give you chance to enjoy the wedding' or 'so that you can relax' can actually come across as offensive to some parents, since you are telling them that they will enjoy being without their kids more than being with them! (I know that's not the intention, but I've heard friends with kids letting off steam about invites that were worded like that in the past!)

The only thing to bear in mind is that you will probably have a higher number of refusals if you go child-free, since it may be hard for parents to find child-care, especially over a long weekend. It would also be worth checking with your best man that he & his partner will be able to find childcare and, if not, you might want to consider making their child a member of the bridal party, so they have an excuse to bring him/her.