Did you go off the 'rails' as a child/teenager?

No, I didnt, I was quite boring really.

BTW Ive sent your christmas card to your old address (Arthur) as I dont know your new address and I had to send the cards out now cos Im on holibobs

No. I was far too square and unpopular to go off the rails. I didn't get drunk or have sex until I went to University - so boring!

I don't think I would have had the balls to go through a rebellious stage...I was far too nerdy & 'goody two shoesey'

Plus I didn't have the time between girl guides & choir practice ?

Yep, definitely. Second year of secondary school - I was a horror. Almost over it now though.

Very, very briefly, every other Friday. By Saturday I was back on the rails (albeit with a hangover) ?

We used to go to indie club nights, and I would drink, often in the street before we went in (they were quite strict about under-18s not drinking in the club), until we developed our own fake ID, which worked because so many people had them the club thought it was a legit brand.

I smoked a bit of pot, but only in the group, if one was going round. i never really tried to get any myself, or move onto anything harder.

But mostly through my teens i was a bit of a swot. I was bullied at school, and my mum kept telling me it would be so much better at university, so getting to university was my main goal. (And she was right)

Yes.

I ran away from home aged 13 to be found 3 days later in a bedsit with my 19 year old boyfriend who thought I was 17.
I used to regularly bunk of school to shoplift then sell the items in the playground the next day.
I took drugs from the age of 13 after being introduced to them by the above boyfriend. A guy we used to hang with died of a heroin overdose aged 20.
I used to argue with my mum so badly we actually faught one day and I punch her in the face and broke her nose.

That for me was a turning point. I left home at 16 as I couldn't bear to see the desturction I was causing at home. I got a job and grew up.

There is much more but you get the jist.

[ebee puts hand up and blushes] that would be me then.. From 5th year at high school i started drinking at weekends and going out.. got myself an older boyfriend and experimented with cannabis,.. scraped into uni then went completely wild for a year or two before getting my act together..

it's not a period of my life I'm proud of or try to think about very much ?

Yes, I caused my parent a lot of heartache. Some of what I did is similar to KB3.

Started at 13, with class A and smoking. I ran away a few times, stayed out all night without calling, or I would call from a telephone box, and say "not coming home" and put the 'phone down. At 15 I was clubbing and taking a lot more Class A, mixing with all sorts of people up to twice my age. At one point I even lived in squat, heroin was pretty rife (I never did that though and lived with the mistaken belief that I was somehow better than those that did, sticking with pills was "OK". Everybody thought was at least 17-18 years old. Was arrested once <cringe>. Could go on and on. My poor mum and dad.

Somehow I managed to do my A-levels and went to Uni, got a job when I left. I mean it's fine now, 15 years on...I'm shaking my head thinking about it.

Yep!

I was a very timid child and got bullied , and then turned into a bit of a biatch myself as a teenager which I hated myself for. Probably started to actually enjoy being me when I was about 23.

I was mostly pretty boring in my yoof (what's changed?!) but after I quit uni at 19 I went through a phase of going out with a friend on a Friday night, getting trollied in clubs till early hours, walking back to her place through dodgy back streets, sleeping all day on her bedroom floor and then having a wash/makeup refresh and going back out again on Saturday. Mostly in the same clothes. Usually pitching back up at my parent's on Sunday afternoon when I'd got it together enough to get on the bus.

This was literally every single weekend otherwise it wouldn't have been that bad. Lasted about 6 months or so I guess. told you I was dull.

It's scary looking back isn't it? I have a 12year old step daughter and I think to myself, in 12months time she could turn into the monster I was, and who could blame her given the tough time she's had over the past few years. But hopefully my being open with her, and allowing her to confide in me will help. I could never talk to my mum you see. In fact I lived with my grandmother until 13 which makes things worse. I'm just hoping that by being open, honest and a friend as well as a parental figure to SD, she'll be OK.

No, I didn't.

I have an older brother who caused my mum and dad lots of grief. In comparison with what others have wrote he was angel but he often went out and didn't tell my parents where he was going or when he would come back. He ran a few times, he would fight with my dad and generally be a nasty person.

I saw the effect that this had on my parents and so I suppose I over compensated by being the angelic daughter. I just didn't want to cause them any more hassle than what they were already having to put up with.

Saying all that though, I'm not the rebel type ?. I didn't have sex until I was 18, I've never smoked and never taken drugs of any kind. I'm a bit of a goody two shoes really.

I didn't...I was a bit of a square at school. I did loads of activities and was involved in lots of shows and dancing displays, so never had time for going crazy...

When I was 16, I got an older boyfriend - he was 19, and thought that all my friends were really imature and silly, so I didn't go to any of the teen parties or get involved in any of the mad behaviour. I did go to the pub from when I was about 15, but was reasonably sensible, until I developed an allergy (which is mostly in my head but that's another story) to booze and stopped drinking at the age of 17!! I've gradually got back into it now though!

The worst thing I did was run away at the age of 14 because I'd broken the glass in the unit in my bedroom. I went to the next town on the train, and went shopping...before I bumped into my neighbour in McDonalds who suggested that I should go home, so I did!!

My sister on the other hand was much wilder!

I did when I was about 14 and discovered drink, drugs and sex. Not much has changed really ?

I look back at what I put my parents through and feel so bad. I made their lives hell for about 3 years.

I am good daughter now though!

But basically, JK is talking bollocks.

According to me no, according to my parents yes.

Got a boyfriend at 16, spent a lot of the next few years at his (his folks were much more liberal), went out, got drunk a few times, got my belly button pierced at 18, failed my first year of uni (through drinking too much), but generally was a square - went to school everyday, came home and did homework every day and went out after. Didnt do any drugs till after I left home, and never touched anything heavier than pot.

My parents wouldnt have coped if I really was a rebel

Nope i didn't go off the rails either.

I went through a going out boozing stage and stopping out late but never really did anything to worry my parents.

The worst thing i did was get a tattoo on my ankle without parents permission at the age of 16.

A bit, yes, aged 13-15 (solvent abuse, ill-advised sexual partners, weird friends, drink & drugs).

By 18 I was really quite sensible and then I went crazy again at 21 and only calmed down when I had a baby at 32. ?

I was a bit of a square as a teenager, too. Mr P thinks I'm trying to make up for it now by going to uni and throwing myself into the social side of it all.

TBH, my parents were more digusted at me for become a bit of a hardcore Christian, who belived everything everyone told me and genuinely thought the Dalai Lama was going to hell, than they ever were at my sister for getting a bit drunk and snogging randoms.

My parents would probably say yes.

i had a few older boyfriends (quite a lot older in one case) and occasionally stayed out all night. the parents phoned the police on one occassion...

would go out to the pub from about 16/17 which i don't think is that big an issue, got a tattoo at 19 and another at 20 and got stoned a not too excessive amount. but i never, ever skived off school. i always did my homework, got good exam results and even had an evening/saturday job which i never skipped or skived off on.

i did have screaming matches with my mum and sister regularly though. had very bad ones which honestly weren't completely my fault. moved out at 19 which was a massive relief all round really. i could stay out, drink, smoke, carry on with boys (ahem ahem) and get stoned to my hearts content. but i still managed to go to uni for nearly all my classes and did alright out of it. then i moved to london at nearly 20 for a year despite knowing nobody and having nowhere to live (i had a job though, it a placement job for uni) and that nearly finished my mother off with worry. she told me i'd end up dead in a gutter ? even though i had a full time job with responsibilities.

mother thinks i went off the rail and blames my behaviour for everything from her work related stress to family fall outs. water off a ducks back now.

but dear god, there is no way on earth she'd have coped if i really had gone off the rails. i don't think i was off the rails really, just a usual teenager. i was a hell of a lot more square than a lot of my friends.

I did big time really. I was dreadfully unhappy at home, my father was an awful man and my mother completely closed herself off from all of us as she was so miserable. I wound up making friends with some much older boys at around age fourteen and used to sneak out most of the time to spend the nights with them. We used to play pool a lot and get drunk and ride motorcycles and some more dodgy stuff. Some of the stuff we used to do shocked my H, so I don't tell him anymore. ?

It was weird really, during the day we would all be in the same school and we wouldn't speak at all, but at night we'd be hanging out. It meant a lot of days off school pretending to be ill and a drink problem at age seventeen. In the end we drifted apart when I went to college instead of school and then I met my H and moved to Scotland. I don't drink at all really now for fear of starting to drink too much again, though I have never told anyone I had problems like that.

I also had another friend who I would go and stay with out in the country. She was a bit wild, we used to sneak out of hers at night and walk across the unlit fields (safe!) in the middle of the night to go and see her boyfriend. We also used to stay in this dodgy little caravan and so I happened to be there when she had sex with this boyfriend for the first time, which was also his first time. It's sad really as I wound up really falling for her boyfriend as me and him got on so much better than they did, but of course would never do anything about it. I think he had feelings for me too though, he used to phone me up and we would spend four hours on the phone, but he would never phone her. Also, he reacted REALLY badly to another of his friends fancying me. I found out later that he told him that he was going to sleep with me that night and my friends boyfriend kept bursting in to the room I was sleeping in all night, really pissing off my friend.

One day we were out walking his dog (not a euphamism) and he told me he was going to finish with my friend as it wasn't working out. I had the strongest feeling he was going to kiss me and hand on heart, if he had done, I wouldn't have pulled away as I really did love him. We had this moment of just staring into each other's eyes and then a car came past and we kind of pulled away. The worst thing is after that he stopped speaking to me, wouldn't talk to me, nothing. To this day I think my friend had something to do with this as she kind of instigated a huge row between us. It broke my heart and I cried myself to sleep almost every night for a year as even though I had never intended to do anything, I had valued our really close friendship. Looking back it is probably for the best really, but I will never forget him as he was the first person I loved. I saw he was on facebook the other year and messeged him. He's got married in June last year and we both apologised for the way our friendship ended. Was very nostalgic. I guess to most people that wasn't going off the rails like the first part, but to even think about cheating with my friends boyfriend for me was worse than the top bit.

I wouldn't say I went of off the rails as I was a pretty good girl in the week for school / 6th form but from 14/15 I was out every weekend doing the whole drink / clubbing / older boyfriend / sex thing and often wouldn't go home until Sunday, but would go to my part time job on a Saturday. At Uni I think I almost grew out of it but I was stil a party girl!

I guess I was pretty lucky in that my parents let me get on with it as I may have rebelled more if they were stricter.

I had some fab times in my teens / early 20s, and wouldn't change them for the world. I hope if I ever have children I will be able to give them the freedom and trust (?) my parents gave me.

I never went off the rails as a teenager, I used to drink a bit from the age of about 16, but never to the point where it caused a problem. My parents were fine about it, as long as they knew where I was, who I was with and as long as I didn't come home completely trashed.

I was in a relationship with Mr bubs from the age of 15 (with a few breaks) so I think that kept me quite boring. However, as things started to go wrong there I started going out, drinking etc as a way of avoiding him and dealing with the situation. This ended up with us splitting up and me going completely off the rails. I was out drinking every night, going to work still feeling the effects, not eating, sleeping etc. I was sleeping with a guy I would never normally go for, and was just generally a bit of a mess... that was for about 6 months, about 2 years ago.

I think it was an early midlife crisis... I even went to Dukes (if you are from essex you will understand!!!)

No, I was as far away from off the rails as you can get. ?

Unless I was with family, I didn't drink until over 18. I didn't get (and still haven't been) drunk, tried smoking or taken drugs. I (regrettably) lost my virginity age 19. As a teenager, I was in bed by 10pm every school night and the majority of my activities were organised ones. I was involved in Guides, orchestras, drama groups etc. I spent weekend doing mainly church activities as I was very involved in the church, including being a minister of the eucharist, on the church hall committee ? and various groups. As my mum worked, I did a lot of the cooking and housework.

When I was 18, I started as a volunteer with Radio Lollipop and the only time I ever went out on weekends was with folk from there, usually after spending a day in a muddy field playing music and selling lollipops. It was here I met my first (and only other) boyfriend and gradually gave up everything else.

Pretty boring to most really!

I guess it depends on what is meant by 'off the rails' and what your rails were like to begin with. I had a very sheltered upbringing- I had a huge amount of intellectual and creative freedom, plus the freedom that comes with wealth, but I was brought up against a framework of disapproval, warped roman catholic (no offence to the RCs) morality, and the barely disguised feeling of panic that emanated from my parents as soon as they realised I was going to be out of their sight for more than 5 minutes. I was therefore quite a fearful child until I went to secondary school.

Around the age of 13 I became friends with a group of girls (not the coolest ones in my year, but really good fun, clever and daring girls). We started hanging out at weekends, smoking, drinking and speaking (ahem) to boys that we met on street corners. We did silly things like sleep in a skip with a tramp, run through a railway tunnel/ swim to a buoy on the clydewhilst drunk on diamond white. All of this I consider to be fairly normal teenage behaviour and while my parents would have had a fit had they known, I didn;t really feel bad about doing these things behind their back. The only thing which I think could properly be considered 'off the rails' is the drug consumption in my teens, which started at about 14. NOt just the nature of the drugs which I took myself, but the situations I put myself in (e.g. sitting in drug dealer's house watching a customer put a belt round their leg and shoot up, legging it from the police with pockets full of speed, giving false names to the police etc etc). I really ran the risk of stuffing up my exams and not getting into the uni of my choice, and it's still matter of some amazement to me that I got away with it. Having said thath, I didn't do anything that my frineds- all 'upper middle class, parents are pillars of community yadda yadda' girls- weren't also doing.

while I'm much more sensible and streetwise these days, I'm not convinced that I've ever got back on the rails entirely. I'm not sure I'm a rails kind of girl. ?

? I cringe thinking about it. They wanted a younger person on the committee, which automatically meant me... I was the only person of my age who went to church at all. ?

The funniest thing about my straight lace teenage years, my mum thought I was 'difficult'. Perhaps I should send her this thread? ?

I think it depends what you mean by "off the rails". I did all sorts of things that would have horrified my parents (drinking and boys from about 14, soft drugs from 16, other drugs while a student) and definitely risked being in trouble with the police on multiple occasions, mainly for general disorderly stuff, drugs, being at illegal gatherings etc. I also risked my own safety in ways which now amaze me. On the other hand, I never really stepped outside the system- I'd stay up all night doing all sorts of naughty things but I'd still worry about making it to my tutorial the next day, IYSWIM (which is not to say that I always made it- I quite often didn't- just that being concerned about it definitely puts me on the "rails" side of the line ?). I would have been horrified at the idea that I could have put any part of my future in jeopardy- I suppose it was rebellion within certain defined boundaries.

Noooo! (or at least let me edit first). ? I love your mum, so please don't let on that butter wouldn't melt in my mouth- it would boil. ?

? I was only joking... My mum couldn't read about me losing my virginity at 19 as obviously that didn't happen until my wedding night. ?

My mum knows about hitched but thankfully doesnt' know where to find it. ?

Mrs Magic, I was on a Church Committee too. We are so rock and roll.

Woo hoo! ?

Forgot to add the "balance" - i was also "on" the rails a bit too as i was in the school orchestra and cadets and again, didn't skip a session of those.

but i'd get a bit drunk before the concerts in my last two years at school. rawk and roll.