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Amy
Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset

Differcult bridemaid .... Help!!

Amy, 2 April 2021 at 23:51 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 12
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So I asked a close friend of mine to be my bridemaid (one of 4) she has kindly gifted us money as a wedding present to purchase our bridesmaid dresses - which we are now regretting and tempted to gift it back to her.



Over the past week she has been a nightmare, she has complained about being available late afternoon the day before the wedding to run through timings as she was planning on coming down the morning of - we are getting married at 12pm and need her for hair and make up.... she has complained about not getting a discount (they have already been given out to relatives) and feels our venue is being stingy not giving her discount (apparently her wedding two years ago gave everyone a discount) my argument is that they are lucky they have the options of accommodation at the venue - we almost went for a venue without accommodation, i have also said it's not compulsory for them stay at the venue, as it's a coastal town, they have a number of hotels that are at an affordable rate.
She has then complained that she doesnt like our colour scheme and that our bridesmaid dresses will make her look like a strawberry dessert (it wont, all bridemaid and mums and nans love them - it's a graceful dress from asos)
I only found this out because she called my dad up slagging everything off and complaining - she has also been complaining to other guests which has sent me through the roof!
She has also been calling MOH constantly complaining about all the above and demanding to plan the hen do - sister (MOH) and I have already sorted it and know what we are doing.
Basically I would love to tell her to step down and attend as just a guest as it seems to be a rather differcult job for her, shes caused me a number of anxiety attacks in the last 72 hours and I can't cope with her.
BRIDES... could I have your advise please on what you would do/handle the situation.
I have already explained to her a few bits but she just doesnt want to listen and I've been really good by keeping my girls in the loop with any big dicisions.

12 replies

Latest activity by Amy, 13 April 2021 at 13:16
  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    Differcult bridemaid .... Help!! 1
    This is the dress we have chosen, whe choosing the dress I made sure it was something suitable for all. She even said she liked it.... 馃槨
    • Reply
  • L
    Curious Bride March 2022 Devon
    Louise
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    Wow, u dont need that added stress what with just planning a wedding let alone covid and then that. It's unfair for her to make this more difficult, a bridesmaids job is to help you! However it is just an issue needing some attention in my view, unfortunately I think first step for me would be to have ur sister MOH be firm with her, I'm not sure how she had reacted with the private complaints to her about it all but someone needs to be firm enough so it is seen as serious but not so firm it borders on arguing. MOH is technically the boss so what she says goes. To the point, firm but still positive on moving forward. U obviously would like her to be part of ur wedding or u wouldn't have asked her. I'm confident that the other 3 bridesmaids should be able to together talk to her and agree she's making things harder when they should be fun. Hope this helps, good luck!
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  • L
    Curious Bride March 2022 Devon
    Louise
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    P.s love the bridesmaids dress, nowhere near strawberry looking! X
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  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    View quoted message
    We did think about getting MOH to address this but as she didnt get the full brunt of it and maybe couldnt explain how we feel, we think it's best we are going to talk to her.


    I dont want to sound like a bridezilla.
    • Reply
  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    View quoted message
    Aww thank you, I've looked at so many dresses and this is the only one we all like x
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  • Lauren
    Newbie Bride September 2021 Staffordshire
    Lauren
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    I agree. Try to sit her down and have a chat, without making her feel attacked. Just explain to her that it is your wedding and even though you have tried to accommodate with regards to dresses, at the end of the day the choice lies with you. Maybe try to explain how you feel - you are already quite stressed with planning the wedding and she鈥檚 making you more anxious with how she is acting. She鈥檚 your friend after all, so I am sure if it鈥檚 explained nicely she will respond well. Good luck! Also I think the bridesmaids dress is lovely. Very similar colour to what I have chosen x
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  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    View quoted message
    Thanks all.


    I have arranged a call with her this afternoon to have a chat (we love a 2.5 hour distance) xx
    • Reply
  • D
    Missouri
    Dany
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    You said she's a close friend? Go tell her straight away, I'm sure she will understand how annoying she's become.

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  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    Thanks everyone for all your advise, we have now spoke and decided between us both that it's an idea for her to step back.


    We are still friends lol xx
    • Reply
  • HappyPurpleDecor18768
    Newbie Bride February 2022 Staffordshire
    HappyPurpleDecor18768
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    Hiya!,

    It sucks that you've had to go though all of that especially considering you're planning a wedding during covid.

    You want my advice keep the money for all the stress she's put you through and tell her she's no longer a bridesmaid.

    The dress is beautiful and looks nothing like a strawberry she wants her eyes testing.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy Bride January 2023 East London
    Stephanie
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    Glad that she listened to you after having a chat with one another, hope the big day goes well!
    • Reply
  • Amy
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Dorset
    Amy
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    View quoted message
    Thank you lovely, so am I! Hope your big day goes well too x
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