Different format wedding day

I haven't done it (yet) but am trying to sort something similar. It might depend where you are or how many for the evening do but round here it seems to be everywhere wants to do both the sit down meal and the evening buffet or neither

I'm sure it used to be easier to find a function room for a party but now all the pubs are set up for serving meals all the time.

Lots of pubs have separate rooms or areas do that shouldn't be a problem.

as for the evening reception, the only problem I see is that some venues won't take an evening only booking during prime wedding season as they are looking to get full day bookings where they will make more money.

I think it would be on the cusp of being offensive to some people - perhaps if you want to do it this way, consider doing family only during the day time and then friends in the evening x

Thanks for the reply, I was just curious as to why this could be considered offensive? I only have a very small family (just 5 of us) my other half comes from a much bigger family and neither of us want much fuss. whilst I understand doing close family only for the ceremony is not always the done thing I don't think it would offend people if this is what we want. OH's brother is getting married abroad for this reason too.

I'm a bit confused why this would be offensive to some people? Sorry, but I don't get why it would! We are having a smallish ceremony with close family and friends, onto a lovely old pub for a sit down meal in a private room and then we have hired a larger room in a different pub for an evening do with about 100+ people! Both places have a private bar so it feels weddingy without it just feeling like a night in a pub! Our evening food is pork pie, cheese and cake basically! As far as I'm aware everyone is looking forward to our wedding because it's going to be quite relaxed and hopefully fun! I've not heard of anyone being offended by it!

So, OP it's definately doable to have that type of wedding! In fact the reaction we have got from most people is that they are looking forward to doing something a bit different!Good luck with the planning!

Anna x

I personally can't see how it would cause anyone offence! I think it sounds like a lovely idea, & if it solves your dilemmas with regards to numbers & family sizes etc, then go for it. I think the most important thing (& also the most impossible thing to remember sometimes!) is that it's your day, & those who care for you will understand your reasoning.

One thing you might find is that it is still very expensive to hire the evening venue - I was trying to organise a 40th party for my sister a few months ago, & couldn't believe how much all the venues I called wanted for room hire - I guess because so many places offer weddings now, they don't want to turn away a full day booking with catering etc for an evening party for a few hours.

We must have been quite lucky with ours then! Our afternoon venue is £200 for room hire and for that they are setting up and clearing away all our decorations for us, we're just dropping them off the day before! We've ordered a main course for everyone, but as some friends of ours run a restaurant they are making us 3 tiers of amazing cheesecake so we are using that as our wedding cake and dessert! The venue were fine about it and have been great!

The evening venue was £350 for the room hire but that was refundable against their catering so we are having some additional catering to add to the pork pie and cheese and this came to £360 so we've technically got the room for a tenner! Again, being fantastic with setting up our decorations!

We did come across a few places though that wanted to charge a small fortune for the room, then a minimum for catering and also a clause that bar takings had to be x amount or else we had to pay an extra surcharge! One meant that our evening do for a room in a pub was over 2k!! Absolutely ridiculous!!!!

It is possible to find great places, it just might take some searching!

Anna xxx

That's amazing Anna - well done!

We were aiming for the same but unfortunately couldn't find a pub big enough for all of our evening guests. However as you say, to hire a proper venue, they tend to have a minimum number of day guests. In the end we went with a wedding venue to hold the entire day, but opted for a large room rather than the big marquee. We are having 50 day guests but they are all close family and their offspring.

We will have a BBQ after the ceremony and then a big party in the evening to celebrate properly with 100 extra friends & family. No one has taken offence so far. Most people relax more during the evening part anyway.

Hi.

We got married in September and had a wedding that is a bit similar to what you have in mind. I only have 6 family members so we decided to keep it small and in the end there were 28 of us including me and my husband.

We had a wedding luncheon in a local restaurant and had the whole place to ourselves from 12:30pm until 5pm. It was a wonderful day and i wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

Due to our low budget we didn't have an evening do although we had initially considered it and found a few wonderful venues that were willing to cater to our needs.

We were married on a Friday though so i'm not sure if this made a difference to any of the venues.

I think the idea of close family for the meal and then an evening do with friends sounds great. As long as people have the opportunity to spend some time with you both and pass on their congratulations then they will be happy.

Best of luck in your planning and i hope that you find some lovely venues. ?

Of course it won't be offensive. It sounds like a lovely day.

Thanks everyone for your replies. we have discussed it and I think we are going to go with this. Wish me luck finding a venue. I'm off to look at my first one on Saturday.

Our friends did something very similar, they had a registry office ceremony and then a 'posh pub lunch' with about 20 of their closest family (they both have quite large families). In the evening, they invited friends along and they had a DJ in the function room of a pub, and a cold buffet. It was really lovely, everyone had a great time and the bride and groom got to spend time with all their guests.

I don't agree that you should only invite family if you're going for a smaller day. We will most likely have our close friends and family for the day, and then invite cousins/aunts/uncles/work friends that we see less frequently for the evening.

Hope that helps a bit!