Dinner the night before

I would say that I paid for my girlie dinner the night before but actually, my Mum did - she's one of those people who sneaks away to do it on the sly. I think my Dad paid for the boy's stuff (he is similarly sneaky).

I wouldn't have seen any of the guests pay.

Everyone paid for their own food the night before our wedding but it was all very relaxed - not everyone ate together, and all at different times.

If it had been a planned meal with the guests I probably would have paid.

This is the same for me and my mum!

If it is an organised dinner then I would pay.

If cost isn't an issue then yes, absolutely, I think you should.

We invited everyone for drinks the night before rather than dinner as we couldn't afford to pay for food for 80 people. We put a set amount of euros behind the bar and when it ran out guests paid for their own drinks. I'd say if you can afford it and you've organised it then you should pay.

As a guest I'm not sure I'd expect you to pay, although I might feel a little pressurised to spend money if you've organised it without consulting me?

Thanks for your replies ladies, it seems like the general consensus agrees with me ?

Initially I was planning on inviting people for drinks, but it's been difficult to find a suitable venue in Italy. They don't tend to have bars where you can reserve a space as is often the case in the UK. Everywhere I've spoken to has suggested that we reserve a table at a restaurant instead.

If we weren't going to pay, I would have just e-mailed everybody to say that we're having dinner at xyz at this time and that they're welcome to join us if they wish. That way people could have checked out the website to decide if they like to look of it and to check the prices etc.

We're doing an informal dinner the night before. We have about 150 guests, so definitely won't be paying for it! I've just said on the "wedding calendar" that the bridal party will be eating at XYZ the night before the wedding, and we would love to see anyone who wishes to book a table there - they can come along for food or just drinks. We've made sure it's a really good value place, so everyone should be able to afford it if they wish to come. We'll end up paying for the bridal party (15 people) because they HAVE to be there! ?

If you can afford it, then yes, I'd say you should pay as you are inviting them for the meal and the traditional rule is if you invite, you pay!

As a guest I would expect to pay for myself, but if the bride and groom offered it would be a lovely guesture. If not paying for the meal you could just get the prosecco or a round of drinks in? Whereabouts are you getting married? I was bridesmaid for my friend in Sorrento last year, was the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to

I would definitely go with the option of buying a couple of bottles of champagne or similar so that you feel you've done something but it's not costing a fortune. It might also give people the option of just coming for a drink if they don't want to eat.