Disappointed at my wedding day.

Firstly Congratulations 🥂


I think this is normal, we put so much pressure on ourselves to have the ‘perfect’ day and imagine it just so. So when the actual day arrives, it can be a disappointment as it’s filled with pressure and worry that it’s got to be perfect and how we thought it would be. I’m sure over time your forget the bits that you mentioned and remember the bits that made you smile.
We do it with all ‘big’ events. I know I do it every Christmas and imagine this picture perfect family Christmas and when the day arrives I’m always upset it didn’t happen and end the day so stressed and annoyed. But by New Year’s Eve I remember that we made our own memories and I look back at us laughing and enjoying ourselves and forget that we didn’t have the ‘dream’ Christmas I imagined. I still do exactly the same the year after though 🤣
Enjoy being a MRS and think back to the bits that made you smile, the love which I’m sure filled the room and the future which will be filled with happiness. I’m sure as well if you ask the guests they will remember it all with happiness and will remind you of bits/events that happened which you may of missed due to anixety or worry. ❤️❤️❤️

View quoted message Emma you’re so lovely, thank you so much. It’s nice to hear it’s normal because I feel soooo guilty for feeling this way when everyone made such an effort for me to come. I do the same at Christmas or birthdays 😅 maybe we have a perfection complex 😅.


One positive is I LOVE being a MRS already and I can already feel the positive shift within our perfect family. X

Sorry to hear thats how you felt but the bonus is your a Mrs congratulations to you and your husband also your daughter their what matter my sister was in the same position at the beginning she hated it then remembered the positive this is why im doing it without anyone so less stressful. good luck for the future with your family of 3 x

Congratulations on your marriage
I also think it's hard to plan for a small number when it sounded like you originally had booked for more when u mentioned the reception room looking bare.
The pressure is huge and we as brides really feel it.I'm sure u will remember positive points and it's lovely that you spent the night with your family . Congratulations again

View quoted message Thank you so much for your reply. Yes if I did it again I would elope and have a family holiday wish you all the happiness in the world x

View quoted message Thank you so much. We originally had 65 so yes had to cut it in half. I can’t believe how big the build up is, it definitely got to me. Thank you for replying and making me feel better xxxx

View quoted message Thankyou my two boys are giving me away and daughter is my bridesmaid . Enjoy your future together with the three of you x

This is my worry in that im planning a big day for others to enjoy and will be worrying if they don't.

Ellie I hope you’re feeling better about your wedding day now , from what I’ve heard a lot of brides feel a bit flat the day after and focus on things they wish had gone better. Focus on the parts you did enjoy x

I think it's normal because we spend so long planning, hoping and dreaming about it especially add in the pandemic


I think in the future you'll remember the feeling of how happy you are with your husband and child. How pleased you were to see them and look back at the photos and enjoy them. But most impythe wedding is only one day in the life long marriage and adventure you're setting out on and you'll have so many memories between now and when you're old and looking back that the wedding day is only a small part of your story xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for this lovely reply. You really put it into perspective for me. I think time is slowly healing the initial feelings. 💖

View quoted message I'm glad you were able to understand even with my typos!! 💕 All the best for a happy married life 💓

Hi, I am commenting on this post because I am having exactly the same thoughts and I've been googling to find out if others felt the same.
I got married 2 weeks ago, third try due to covid, my 2nd date was meant to be in Greece in August just gone, which is a completely seperate traumatic experience on its own and too long to explain. Cancelled last minute, I managed to find a venue in the UK and planned a whole big day of 100 guests in 7 weeks all on my own. My partner just had to turn up! The week of wedding I was fretting about all the small stuff that hadn't been finished, because if I hadn't thought about it, it wasn't getting done and my partner just left me too it and I had to respond to long emails from the venues and suppliers, whilst working 6 long days a week. The night before my wedding I couldn't sleep and thought why am I doing this, I should of gone to a registry office with a smaller crowd. Too many what's ifs were going through my head, especially the worry of Covid getting in the way, guests not turning up or restrictions. The morning of my wedding I couldn't get excited as I was too nervous, felt sick all morning. I sort of felt abit better once down the Isle with my husband, but after that, being dragged here and there, it's all a blur! I couldn't drink, because my stomach basically did flips the whole day, I didn't eat much either. I struggled with conversation too because I was so overwhelmed,I couldn't think what to say to people. I got to the evening , and basically crashed at 9pm, told my bridesmaid I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed, my mouth was incredibly dry, and I felt so dehydrated, I ended up drinking tons of water all night, I've since been told its a sign of anxiousness, and yes that's exactly what I had and still have. I basically parked myself on the dancefloor and danced all night because I had bizarrely no energy to talk but could still sway on the dancefloor, simce then people said I looked switched off on the dancefloor. I had zero interest In taking photos or talking to my friends. I can't remember who I even danced next too or what music was played, all I can remember or focus on was when a bad song did come on and it just pushed me into a bigger anxious feeling. It didn't help also but my DJ turned it more into a nightclub feel then a wedding, played songs for about a minute and a half before mixing in to the next, didn't play much of our typical wedding playlist, I didn't like it but I was blocking it out and now absolutely kicking myself because I should of said at the time play the full song and songs we asked for.
My Mum said at 11pm that she didn't like what the DJ was doing , so then my anxiousness kicked in even more and because she said it, I instantly thought everyone else probably didn't like it either but its too late to change now. My thoughts were I've ruined my wedding with the wrong song chocies/DJ etc, I couldn't sleep on the wedding night, tossed and turned and even threw up. I'm still going over it all in my head now and focusing on the negatives and wishing I enjoyed my day. I think with covid and the ordeal of the 2 previous cancelled weddings I was just waiting for things to go wrong and the pressure of making sure everything was going as it should, that I couldn't relax, and I'm gutted. My husband can't understand why I'm feeling like this thus resulting in arguments . I'm in a constant state of upset since the day. So mu h emphasis on its meant to be the best day of your life, and I feel like I've failed because I didn't feel like that. Our build up during covid for a wedding is nothing like a normal wedding build up.I've had nothing but amazing compliments from guests but I'm struggling to accept their compliments.

View quoted message Hi lovely, I just want you to know I totally totally get exactly how you feel. I went through the same thought process and it’s a shame but you’re not alone and I’m sure so many brides felt this way that didn’t reach out online even. It’s been 7 months since we got married and I can tell you I really do only have fond memories of the day. Covid did get in the way of a few things but no look back and all the photos and videos and now smile and those little things that went wrong have faded into the back ground. Give yourself time to process the day, remember the good things that went right and just let it all settle down. You WILL feel better about your big day. I promise xxxx

I was so relieved to read this! While I did hugely enjoy my wedding day, I was unbelievably nervous. I suffer from extreme anxiety anyway, but it was next level. It took me a long while to relax and start enjoying the day - and I truly did at parts, but now I am suffering from post-wedding anxiety, if that's even a thing? I feel as if I'm still decompressing! The day almost feels like a dream, did anyone else experience this? xx

View quoted message I’m so sorry you went through this. I completely understand because I had a similar experience. We have been trained since we were little girls that our wedding day will be the most “important day” of our life. It’s too much pressure. I was full of anxiety before, during and after the wedding too. I think it’s more normal than we know but people don’t talk about it openly.

View quoted message I’m so sorry you went through this. I completely understand because I had a similar experience. We have been trained since we were little girls that our wedding day will be the most “important day” of our life. It’s too much pressure. I was full of anxiety before, during and after the wedding too. I think it’s more normal than we know but people don’t talk about it openly.

View quoted message I think it’s absolutely a thing and it took me a little while to come down from it all. Absolutely a blurry dream and I think it’s completely understandable. There’s so much pressure these days! You did incredible and will look back at the fantastic memories xx

View quoted message Completely, it was all too much. A year on and I feel so differently. I made a wedding book which helped look back on it fondly. Thanks so much xx

Glad you feeling better has the wedding book helped xx💗

View quoted message 100% xx 💖💖

View quoted message Im so glad all the best for your future togetherx💗💗💗

View quoted message I am the exact same! I am incredibly anxious and a perfectionist and the day wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I had soooo much fun but I can’t help but be anxious even after the wedding. I truly thought I’d wake up the next morning relieved but I was so overwhelmed & anxious!! It’s getting better each day but it was a shock to me. Also, agreed that it almost feels like a dream - I almost don’t remember much of it. It’s super bizarre!

Congratulations first off lovely,
I think the problem with wedding planning is we never expect the wedding blues afterwards. But I do completely understand how your feeling, I’ve just popped a post up.
With small weddings it’s sometimes awkward to have an atmospheric evening do with mixed ages. We had the same number and same sort of evening do as yourself it sounds. Sometimes the planning can be so exciting we forget what the reality is. I find that looking at photos from the day and talking to my husband about things can help with taking the bad bits away and remembering some good times. X

Hi Everyone,

I got married last month and have been feeling the same way. I am a wedding coordinator so I planned my whole day around me being in charge of every aspect of the day. But my sister wound up sick and so she did not get to be a part of any of the getting ready. My parents got put on baby duty because she was sick, leaving me without anyone to stay with my children so I could go to the venue. I washed my hands of it and said it is what it is and let family and friends take over. Well, I regret every second of it. They did not know my vision or what was supposed to go where and I can't get the regret out of my mind every day for allowing myself to give up the most important part of my day. I will not go into all of the details but I will give you one. My mother-in-law thought my cake had melted because it was a half-naked cake....... so she and a family friend reiced the cake and then stuck flowers all over it to cover up the holes..... I was devastated and still am. I can barely even look at photos. When we went to cut the cake I looked at my husband and said that is not our cake. There were several other little things that were not the way I had imagined. I struggle with it most because this is what I do for a living. I make sure that the bride's perfect day comes true, and that their vision is seen and heard. I cry when I attempt to go through photos but every day gets easier.

No matter what, nothing is perfect, and no matter how hard you try something may go wrong. BUT you get to marry the man of your dreams, the man you love, the man to share many new memories with. I have since decided that holidays birthdays and other life events will be shared with family food and simple celebrations. I am trying to remember the time shared instead of what the event looked like!