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vicster
Beginner December 2011

Disinterested Bridesmaid :(

vicster, 3 August, 2011 at 12:30 Posted on Planning 0 3
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I have two bridesmaid's. One is my sister who couldn't be more excited about everything and is absolutely fabulous but lives really far away and so can't do the day to day things with me. The other is a very good friend, who has been there for me through all sorts over the years. Problem is she seems quite disinterested in it all. I bought their dresses on line last week. They arrived on Saturday and I dropped it over to her that day - she still hasn't even tried it on Smiley sad I had to phone her last night to remind her that I needed to return it on Friday if it didn't fit.

We're having a short engagement (six months) so everything is moving pretty quickly and I guess I'd hoped that she'd at least be interested and asking me about it all. In two weeks time my OH and I move from Northern Ireland to different parts of England (I'll be in Canterbury and he'll be in Stoke on Trent) for the forseeable future. It's a stressful time and I didn't really expect that I'd have to badger her to try the dress on. She makes it sound like a chore. I get that she's not as girlie as me and maybe I'm being unfair as she is very busy with work but... moan, moan, moan!! I even dreamt about having a massive fight with her last night.

Would you do anything or just leave it be? You can't force someone to be interested in your wedding so I probably should just accept that's how she is about it.

Thanks for the rant

3 replies

Latest activity by vicster, 3 August, 2011 at 14:38
  • *porsche*
    Beginner January 2001
    *porsche* ·
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    Personally I think if she can't even be arsed trying a dress on, what is she going to be like with the rest of your wedding plans.

    I'd bin her off and replace her with someone who will be honored to be your b/m.

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  • W
    Beginner July 2012
    Wherts2b ·
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    I would say something definitely. She should be honoured you want her to be bridesmaid and at least be excited about the dress and trying to offer as much help and support as she can. You don't have to be funny about it, just ask her if everything is ok and if work is stressing her out because she doesn't seem to be getting involved in the wedding as much. Make it sound like you're looking out for her best interests!

    I had a similar problem, i made my oldest friend a bridesmaid and she had no interest whatsoever and was only interested in the parts of the wedding that concerned her (i.e. her dress) and what I was paying for everything. My other 2 bridesmaids had been so supportive and come to every wedding fair and dress trying-on under the sun, so in the end I demoted her and just asked her to come as a guest. It didn't go down too well and we didn't speak for several months but I'm so glad I made that decision because it was really stressing me out and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders

    xx

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  • E
    Beginner June 2012
    ExcitedBride.com ·
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    I would most definitely say something - nicely - and see if everything is ok.

    I have four bridesmaids and I couldnt have picked any better, they are so interested - so dam excited and are so happy for me. At least once a day I get an email from them with ideas etc. Sorry I dont want to sound as though im rubbing it in!

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  • vicster
    Beginner December 2011
    vicster ·
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    Aww that's great excitedbride - really cool that they are like that Smiley smile

    I'm seeing her tonight so I might say it to her then - definitely if she hasn't tried it on yet!

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