Divorce issues

My divorce was final on the day the absolute was applied for. As soon as they got the money, it was done. I really don't see it taking 4-6 weeks, even if they have a backlog. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry. There's nothing you can do about it.

How much of a *** is the ex, though? I don't want him but you can't have him? WTF?

It's natural that you're worrying about the worst-case-scenario, but reading your story - it really doesn't seem likely that any of it will happen. You'll be fine. Your wedding will go ahead as planned.

Who is 'they'? Are you having your ceremony at the registry office? And they've said you *must* give notice 11 months before the ceremony date, else you can't have the ceremony date? That seems a little odd. Have you paid for the ceremony yet? If you've paid for it, I don't understand who or why they would decide to cancel it. You already have a contract in place once you've paid for it. I'm a little confused about this!

We're having a civil ceromy and are having the registrar to come out to marry us, we booked them in feb and they told u we had from June - August to give notice of marriage and then our date is open for other people to book. Are venue is all booked nd secure it's just the registrar that's the issue. I suppose people book in advance so they need to set deadlines so they don't have wasted dates. We only choose 4th July as it was the only Saturday next summer free so if it gets released after August there's no way we would get it back xx

Well that sucks ass.

I think my back up plan would be to send the registrar a letter on 28th June, the same day you submit your papers, and explain that your submission has been made, and you fully intent to give notice the day they are returned. Hopefully they won't be tits about it if you keep up some good communication with them about any delays.

Also, I would book my appointment to give notice now, if you haven't already done so. I'd book it for the very last day in their window, to give myself as much time as possible (August 01st ???). I say this, because when I rang up to book the appointment to give notice, the first available appointment was about 6 or 7 weeks into the future!

Yeh the appointment is booked for 1st august. Just hoping its all through in time.

It's causing a few arguments between me and OH and what's worse is we're attending a wedding in 2 weeks where they got married and she will be there!

Xx

Similar issues here except my midi came through 2 years ago and still no absalout

Yes I can apply for it but then that means I have to pay court fees which he knows I can't afford.

Last time we spoke he told me 'it would be a shame if it took a really long time'. We have no joint property, assets, kids or anything!! Yet it still takes AGES!!!

If the paperwork isn't through in time there is another solution. Book a registered celebrant for the wedding day. Then at shorter notice you'll be able to get a 2 person quickie ceremony at the register office a day or two before the "wedding"

The fees for the absolute are small in comparison to what he will have paid to petition in the first place. It's only £45 for the absolute.

I had a similar issue in that our booking was depending on notice being given by a certain time, which we couldn't do due to waiting for my divorce to come through. all it meant was that we had to pay the full fee to secure the date, rather than just the deposit that would otherwise have been enough to hold it. I'm sure you'll be able to work something like that out.

I thought it was more as he started the process? I was told nearly £500!!

Just checked this as it seemed very high! It's £90 for the respondent to apply. Presuming the £500 quoted includes solicitor's fees etc - absolutely no need to use a solicitor for this.

Attend with dignity, sweetheart. Make sure your OH knows how you feel, so that he knows to keep close to you and hold your hand for comfort. Hold your head up and don't go on about your wedding, in case it gives her ammunition to start 'joking' about the paperwork not being available on time etc. Plus, it's generally a bit rude to talk about your wedding at another wedding anyway, so no doubt you'd be being polite anyway to your friend the bride on the day anyway, so that's a moot point, eh?

As SunnyOrange said, can you doublecheck the situation with the registrar re: deposits / paying the full fee? That was exactly what I was thinking - that the cancellation clause might only apply when it's only a deposit paid, but that it's fine if the full fee has been paid? Every registry office has that rule about letting the date go, but normally it's 3 months before the ceremony, not 11 months like yours which seems excessive. Again, since we'd paid in full, the letting-the-date go thing didn't apply to us.

Paula's advice is also a good Plan B to bear in mind. I'd wait to see if it was needed after the deadline in August, as I'm pretty sure you'll be fine and this is all 'what if' planning. If you do unfortunately 'lose' the registrar, I think if I were in that position, I'd totally keep everything as-is, with the venue etc, and have a celebrant run the proceedings, and then do the legal bits at the town hall on another day later on with just me and the hubby.

Why you initiated your marriage if the divorce process wasn't completed? I would recommend you to hire a lawyer in that case, to speed-up the divorce process. Also, divorce usually take less time if you're doing it by mutual agreement, like in case of no-fault divorces. I'll leave you a couple of link that might be useful for you, those articles are dedicated for speeding up the divorce process:

1) What Can I Do to Speed Up the Process? - article is written by experienced lawyers and describing a to-do list in cases like yours;

2)onlinedivorcer.com - document filing service where you can download divorce form that you'll need.