Do I have to invite a work colleague I don't like?

To me life is too short to keep other people happy and you clearly don't like her so I wouldn't waste any money on her, invite the other girls. She may not expect an invite since she doesn't speak to you. Welcome to hitched too x

Things sound pretty unbearable already. Can they get much worse? If you dislike her that much I wouldn't invite her!m

Why on earth would you invite someone you don't like to your wedding?

I think it depends on your personality to an extent.. you can either decide its your wedding, and quite rightly, wont have anybody there who wont add to your day and dont invite her. Alternatively, you can take the attitude that you invite her for the sake of an easy life (which is probably what I'd do as I hate confrontation) and she'll either a) decline if you dont get on or b) Come, but keep out of your way/be civil. It doesn't sound as if she's the type to make a scene and so I would probably invite her, but only because I hate the thought of anyone being unhappy with me - regardless of whether I like them or not!!

If it's only the evening do I would invite her. I'm all for keeping the peace plus I wouldn't want to put the other girls in the group in an awkward situation. She might decline or she might come and it smooths things over! Think of the positives..... She might bring u a present lol xx

Short answer: no, you don't have to invite her and it doesn't make you a hypocrite.

Long answer: as already said it sounds like things couldn't get much worse with her. Think of it this way, will inviting her heal the rift between you? Probably not. So why bother just to feel uncomfortable on your big day? I would warn your mutual friends beforehand though, something along the lines of "You girls are invited but as you know, 'Doris' and I don't get on that well and I don't want any problems, so she isn't going to be invited, just a heads up"

And then if she says anything snotty, just calmly reply "sorry, we have limited numbers so it's close friends only". You're not exactly lying.

If it was to the wedding, I'd say No. Don't have people you can't stand there. Not at your ceremony. HELL NO.

However as it's the evening, and as there is a clear group of 5 work buddies, I say YES, invite her. You said you are civil to each other at work, so it is just civil to invite her along with the other girls. To purposefully exclude her is not civil, it's actually quite mean. I ummmed about this for a bit, due to it being a 'wedding' rather than a 'work girls night out', but if you excluded her from the latter it'd be tantamount to bullying, and whilst YES a wedding IS different, it may still invoke similar emotions in her. And that's just not right.

Other things that made me lean towards inviting her are:

a) She invited you to hers, AND you went. Ok, so your relationship has deteriorated, but you are still civil.

b) She has the opportunity to make an excuse and say she's already at an event that night, and probably there's a great than 50% chance she'll do that, graciously.

c) You'll never have to speak to her on the evening, other than to say hello. It's darn hard work and busy being the bride! So really, it doesn't impact you.

d) Why add fuel to the work situation? Which you will be. It may deteriorate from civil to unbearable.

e) It's harsh to put the other girls in the middle of this situation, as they'll feel uncomfortable.

f) If she's not invited, you'll have to ban all wedding talk at your lunch time girlie sessions from now on, and where's the fun in that?

All I see that counter-balances these points is "I don't like her, and it's *my* wedding". Yeah well, the fact that you're asking for advice in such a reasonable way shows that you can cope with this, that you're a big girl, and quite rational. So kudos to you, you'll probably want to do the right thing.

And FYI, I had an uncle I can't stand at my wedding, and allowed the OH to invite a guy I hate. Luckily the latter had the good grace to say he was busy, although the uncle was there and rude to me twice. I laughed and bitched about it to my sister afterwards ? We put up with the odd crappy relative at weddings, so why not the odd 'civil' colleague?

^^ This. No way to ceremony or wedding dinner but it won't make much difference to you to invite her to the evening do and there is a chance she won't come- but at least that way it isn't you who cast a snub if that makes sense

You could invite her to keep the peace, but seeing as the feeling is mutual, she may not show up anyway...

No

I'd say no, sounds like work couldn't get much worse and if you clearly don't speak, people will understand why you haven't invited her. I was very specific about my work invirations, invited some not others and I'm very glad I did.

I work in an office/room of 5 including me (amongst a big company!):

1 person was a new temp and invites and rsvps had already gone out = not invited

2 people really good friends with = both had full day/evening invites

1 person = not invited

The person never wish me congrats when we got engaged and quite frankly is a bit of a bully. It didn't make things awkward and I don't think they every assumed they'd be invited.

I also really do not get on with one of OH's supposedly 'good' friends, the roooooows we had about inviting this person were endless. I stuck to my guns, well a little, I didn't want him anywhere near our wedding but 'gave in' and he got an evening invite. Thankfully he declined!! So you never know - she might not want to go either! At the end of the day it's ultimately your decision. I agree with the others, if you're having a biggish wedding and she comes to the evening, you probably won't even see her if she does decide to go...but at the end of the day do what you feel most comfortable with. Good luck xx

To be honest, I'd think you more of a hypocrite if you DID invite her. I can't think she'd want to come anyway.

Like you I have a colleague who I don't particularly get on with, we are civil but will never be friends. I have invited other colleagues from our department and have not invited the colleague in question. I want people who attend my wedding to be people I care about and who I want to share my day with. At the end of the day I think you need to decide whether there is likely to be a bigger fallout in regards to after the day and when you are back at work or if she is even likely to react? I guess it also depends on the type of person you are, would you just want any easy life and invite her to keep the peace or would you be willing to stand up to her if there was a confrontation?

15 years ago I would have invited her. Nowadays I don't care so much about that stuff and no - I wouldn't invite her. All the people comung to our wedding are people that we love and want to share our day with, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I had a similar situation myself. I work in a small team (only 5 others) and one of them is a complete nutter. I don't particularly like him but he's not a bad person or anything, just a bit odd. Anyway I invited all of them, it would have wrong to exclude just one of them. As it happened, he turned up and only stayed for an hour (which is quite normal for him). I barely even noticed he was there.

Thanks everyone for the advice, it's been a great help!

No. If you barely speak then l don't see point. Plus the few things l did connected with my wedding where l did what l thought l "should", do rather then wanted to do then l really regretted doing!

I invited everyone in my office to the evening. I really did not want to invite one person but didnt feel I could leave him out even tho he barely ever acknowledges my existence. Thankfully he declined and I could feel like the nicer person. To be honest tho I do wish I had not bothered to invite him. Im just a wuss.