Do you need someone to walk you down the aisle and give a speech???

One person doesn't have to do both (and you don't have to have both, you could also have one or the other).

If it was me, and obviously not knowing any more details other than what you've put, I would have my godfather walk me down the aisle and then see if my mum would do a speech perhaps along with my Maid of Honour and close aunties/uncles. That way not all the attention is on her but you get to hear one of your parents saying nice things about you on your wedding day. If anyone is a bit techy they could do a little slideshow or something, again so some of the attention is taken off your mum.

(I've just got off the phone with MIL2B and she says one of the things she regrets most about her own wedding is not getting the speeches on video, as it was just so lovely to hear her dad make a speech.)

Hi,

From previous posts the OM's seem to say you will actually end up needing the person to literally walk you down the aisle - ie you'll maybe end up leaning on them etc.

Do you have any uncles or cousins? I think its important that if you do decide to have someone walk you down the aisle that they are important to you - I dont think you sound convinced on your godfather however he must be important to be at your graduation?

As for a speech - I personally would want one - I understand about your mother and how upsetting it would be for you both. Have you spoke to your OH about this? How is your relationship with his father, as you are becoming his daughter in law would that be fitting? Or perhaps if you do decide on someone to walk you down the aisle they would maybe speak a few words?

x

I have sympathy for your situation and can understand why you feel you might walk down the aisle on your own. But, from my own point of view, I suspect I will be bricking it and wobbly legs might take over Hence, an arm to lean on might be good. Might your Mum actually be LESS emotional walking with you than waiting at the end for you to arrive? At least you can chat/giggle nervously/whatever together.

I would want SOMEONE to walk with me down the isle as I'm a scaredy-cat! I couldnt do it on my own. I'd ask your godfather if you dont have anyone else, but you dont have to have a male either - if you have a close aunt or someone like that they could walk you down?

Hiya, for me, I am having my 2 older brothers give me away and my god father do a speach (my mum also didnt want to dill and of the roles that would have been my dad's as it would be too emotionatl)

Im sure your godfather would be honored and touched that you asked him!

a friend got married a couple of years ago and she walked up the aisle alon, she had no bridesmaids and declared taht she didnt blong to anyone so she didnt see the point in being "given away" i think her dad did say a few word at the reception though! they did get married in a very small venue and the walk up the aisle was about 5 paces so in hindsight it looked a lot bvetter just her!

Hello,

I was in a very similar situation in that I lost my Dad 7 years ago and Grandad when I was tiny. I had always assumed my Mum would walk me down the aisle, and she did, which just felt so right for us, although she was emotional and cried, but at the same time she wouldn't have had it any other way IYSWIM? She also did the old fashioned thing of putting my hand in my H's hand at some point in the church ceremony though this wasn't at all compulsory but the Priest asked us before and she was fine with that. If she hadn't walked me down the aisle, I think I would have asked my nephew, who is 15 as I don't have any brothers, purely because I think I might have felt a bit lonely walking down on my own! I'm sure people will be along though with their own views / who wanted to walk down on their own but it perhaps sounds like you wouldn't be that comfortable with it?

Would it be worth talking to your Mum again about the ailse part and explaining how much it would mean to you and that it's okay to be emotional, and that she doesn't have to do anything past this point? I just wonder if she might regret it as well if she doesn't really think about doing it.

As for the speech, after some thought, I asked one of my two BM to do one - they have been my best friends since school and knew my Dad so it seemed fitting. The idea was it would be fairly short so not to put the pressure of a full father of bride speech, or to take his place/fill his shoes, etc, as that didn't seem fair, but I thought long and hard and felt I personally would regret it if there was nobody doing a little thing about me at the wedding. I too asked my Mum who didn't feel comfortable, and as my H rightly said, she should get to enjoy being Mum of the bride on the day, she shouldn't have to fit both roles. It worked out really beautifully in my eyes, and I'm so glad I asked my BM. She got a few silly tales and things off my Mum, and wound in teenage embarrassments we had shared, and did (although I didn't ask her to) talk a little about my Dad and how they brought me up and were so proud of me and stuff, and it was just wonderful. I'm filling up now writing about it; I'm just so, so glad I asked and it was one of the most special parts of the wedding for me.

H did a special toast for my Dad, and he went first as it didn't seem fair on my BM to have to start things off. I felt it was so lovely for my Dad to be mentioned but it wasn't 'too much' either as he would have hated that.

I guess you just need to decide what would feel right for you, because of course you want to respect your Mum's wishes, but if it means a lot to you perhaps you could chat further to her, or consider asking your Godfather.

HTH - please excuse the ramble - didn't mean to write so much!

Do you have a really close friend or relative who could walk you down the aisle or do the speech. Its not uncommon to have your mother, friend or your child if you have one to walk down the aisle as long as its what you want.

Thanks everyone, this has been a big help.

I think its confirming what I was beginning to think that I might need someone to support me while I'm walking down the aisle.

Also, to clarify, my godfather is q a close part of my family we're just not so close that he was an automatic choice after my dad. But he knew my dad and has watched me growing up so I think he would be the natural male choice now.

I hope he'll want to do it though and that his own daughter wouldn't mind him walking me down the aisle??

My dad died 5 years ago, and I could never imagine anyone else walking me down the aisle. So my OH and I have decided to arrive together.

They're all quite right - you NEED some one to walk with you. At my first wedding my dad gave me away, and I was hanging on to his arm like I was going to faint. He was in control the whole time, keep me at an even pace, handed me his hanky when I cried, and supported me when I stumbled. So I'd recommend you find someone who will be in a position to do the same for you - I'd say your mum wasn't the best candidate - go for your godfather or a close friend.

My oldest brother is walking me down the aisle and the other one will b e doing the speech. my mum is not well enough to do anything but i think i would still have had my brother do it. if they had not been able to attend i was going to ask my godmother or a close family friend. another person i know had their cousin walk them as their mother didnt want to do it.

I think I'll ask my godfather - if he says no then I can rethink?

Glad I asked now though as I was thinking it would be fine walking down but now I think it might be harder than I imagine and I'll be grateful for someone to hold on to!