Donations to charity rather favours

That's a lovely idea ;-)

I think a note for each person would be nice, something like this...

I think that's a lovely idea and id be happy to attend a wedding and see the couple have done that
I like the idea of a little thank you note to each guest and tell them you've done that

We went to a wedding and the pin badges were stuck to the place name cards ( theirs were for downs syndrome) and everyone wore the badges during the dinner

I went to a wedding last year who did this and everyone got a pin badge with a thank you message.

Individual notes fine, but I have a massive aversion to the 'on your behalf' wording.

Nothing wrong with ' In lieu of favours, the bride and groom have made a donation to XYZ'.

Thank you for your views. Will do individual notes, I agree I don't like on your behalf either

Katede where are those cards from? Txs x

I just found them on Pinterest...

the first ones are from a DIY tutorial https://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/diy-wedding-favor-donation-cards/

the second ones are from a blog on wedding trends https://www.weddingsonline.ie/blog/top-20-wedding-trends-for-2012/

and the third ones can be bought from the Cancer Research website http://giveincelebration.cancerresearchuk.org/wedding-favours for a donation of at least £2.50 each for the cards with the broaches

Hope that helps ;-)

Hi,

I would put a lovely sign together and let people read this and take a flower from a bowl,

if you do the individual letters/ pin badges etc this could end up costing as much as favours and hence more money could have then been donated, plus doing each person a letter may end up them all saying the same thing any way .

Hayley

Agree. If you don't actually take the pins/flowers from the charity, they'll be better off!

I wouldn't use the on your behalf either.

Its your choice of donation, and whilst entirely positive and supportive, it's not on your guests behalf.

Id also think the vase full of daffodils us a lovely way to share your message

Charitable giving is, in my cabbage, an immensely personal choice. For example, I wouldn't donate money to Cancer Research UK (although admittedly, it wouldn't "offend" me to have money donated to them "on my behalf"). And although it's probably unlikely, it's possible that the B&G may choose to donate to something that is actually controversial to many - religious charities, third world development charities, animal rights charities, and so on. So with even the most apparently worthy causes, there may always be one awkward bugger (me!) who feels uncomfortable with publicly being part of supporting a cause they wouldn't normally support. It's the bride and groom's choice to donate to a particular charity, so why not just go with wording to that effect?

I think a vase of daffs would be nice on the table.

People may be a bit lost of what to do with them if they are in their places.

I'm sure you must be able to get little sticks where you can attach a note to the top to go in vases?

We are going to do something similar for families of people who have died in car accidents.

If we make our own place cards we may include something on them or if not we will included a note on the table.

I'm assuming when you say they've sent you daffodils, you're talking about pins yes?

In that case I'd put one with a note at each place setting. As they've already sent these to you then it's not going to cost you much to put the note there.

I think it's a lovely idea having the charity donation and it's a nice way to include your absent MIL.

I think it's lovely you've donated some money as opposed to spend it on favours.

I also agree with others. I don't know why but I don't like it when people say that they've donated to X on behalf of Mr/mrs so and so. Maybe it's for the same reasons listed above in the event that people don't agree with certain charities for one reason or another?

Im doing charity favours for Arthritis Research, as my mum is riddled with Rheumatoid Arthritis along with other types. She had a stroke this year because of it.
Im donating to the charity on behalf of my guests, they have offered to give me the little broach and table cards just letting people know .

My mum loved the idea!!

Just browsing the internet for various threads on this subject, I came across:

'...you see many posts about "in lieu of favours", but I've yet to see one saying "in lieu of wedding shoes, the bride is wearing old flip-flops so a donation could be made to help homeless pygmy goats" '.

True though. Does anyone actually go without something important for themselves in order to donate to their charity of choice?

Hahaha, had to laugh at that flip flops quote!

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't do this myself, I'd maybe give a wee donation and leave a note with guests explaining as well as a little favour.
I wouldn't like any of my guests to think "hmm, give a donation to charity instead of giving us a favour but spend an absolute fortune on the wedding and everything that goes with it" lol. I give to 5 charities monthly anyway and give the odd donation to some I think are worthy whenever I can, but wouldn't do it for guests like I say unless it was along with a wee favour.
My nephew has autism for example, and he can't be at the wedding as he couldn't handle that situation which i'm really upset about. So I could do something like this with the autistic society and put a little note on everyones places so they have a wee think about him & thinks we just haven't got him there. But like I say, i'd do this along with a gift/favour. And i'd obviously see what my brother and SIL thought about the idea first

And a further (heavily paraphrased) quote from yet another site:

Imagine that your Mum came empty-handed at Christmas, saying you had donated to her choice of charity, that you don't support, by dint of her donating the cost of your gift to them. Then expecting congratulations for it.

Have to say that's a very good point.

Or has anyone ever put a note in with invitations saying "instead of gifts or money, the bride & groom would love you to make a donation to your chosen charity" ?

I pushed for this but Boy wouldn't let me. Not least because we didn't include anything to do with gifts on our invitations. I certainly suggested it to people who inquired about what gifts we might like. I guess I could have been less greedy though and donated the lump sum of cash, rather than buy a delicious armchair....

BBB had her gifts to Oxfam, I wonder if she has anything to input here....

Yeah we're not including anything about gifts on invites either, i'm not one for asking for money so if anyone asks i'll probably mention the same. I can imagine they won't do it mind you and give us something anyway. And we'll probably put any money given to our house as well so not the most generous ever lol ? Thinking of my auntie in particular who gives to so many charities and probably ends up paying out more than she receives, and her turning up and getting no favour but a donation instead on behalf of her, and for someone who gives so much anyway I don't know...the more I think about it the more I sway towards weddings and charity giving being completely separate things and maybe should be kept that way. (Only my opinion though, and each to their own and all that )

Agree. I'm uncomfortable with Oxfam & Christian Aid and would not want this done on my behalf, but dont have an issue of "made a donation in lieu of.... "

I've loved all your opinions! I have deceided to do a sweet trolley as well as most of my guests have a sweet tooth and this can act as a favour to and am writing 'in lieu' rather than on behalf of.

Ooh lovely, everyone loves a wee sweetie! We're also having a sweetie cart and i'm stupidly excited over it lol.
Sure that and the little flowers will go down as a really nice touch

The Royal British Legion was our chosen charity. We had poppies instead of buttons holes and we put a poppy pin on an individual card which we put in a bag with a small fragrance.

We are having cancer research pins as our wedding favours in honour of grandparents we have lost to various forms of the illness and to our two wonderful aunties who bought won their fight against cancer. It's not only a donation to charity but a mark of respect to people we love very much. They will be accompanied by the cards that read 'a donation has been made on your behalf....' I understand that some people have an issue with this, but we know our guests well enough that this will be received very well and people will find this very touching. I think charity wedding favours are a personal touch to your wedding and if, like me, you know your wedding party well enough to know they will not be offended then I think go for it )

That should read 'BOTH won their fight against cancer'

We're having ordinary favours, plus a charitable donation favour. My nan has dementia so won't be attending the wedding; it would be too confusing / frightening for her and stressful for my mum. So I've made a donation to the Alzheimer's society. I, too, was concerned about the cost of badges outweighing the benefit of the donation so contacted them about this and was reassured that it isn't a factor. I also donated double the suggested amount per badge to make sure that the charity benefitted. I've done fundraising for them before and most of the wedding guests (all close friends / family) have sponsored me for runs, etc. so I know that no-one would object. Plus, being close friends / family I know that most of them have been affected by dementia or related illnesses at some point too, so would appreciate the gesture. It's all about knowing your audience! The only ones who might have a bit of a whinge about it are the couple of teenagers / students we've invited who are at that 'wilful controversy for the sake of it' phase we all went through (I was the worst!)...

The only charity I would have an issue with someone making a donation 'in my name' for would be anything associated with a religious cause, as I am a staunch atheist. Also, anything to do with the Armed Forces, as I am a pacifist. However, as long as the money went to benefit someone down the line, I wouldn't take too much umbridge. After all, it's more than I do to help others on a daily basis!