Don't want a hen party

Why don't you want a hen party? Maybe if you explain your reasons to them they'll be more understanding?

I mean, I'm with you on this one but I let my girls plan one anyway because I know I'll have fun when I'm actually THERE lol

Could you perhaps tell them that you'd rather plan it yourself and organise a day of activities that YOU enjoy?

It doesn't have to be a huge piss up, we're going to the spa and for a meal for mine.

I agree to think if there is some sort of hen do you would like. Spa day, meal, cocktail making class etc. If not simply say you love that they want to do it for you however you don't want me. Not at all. I didn't want one and didn't have one.

My hen do consists of hot chocolate, decorating wellies and sewing in a local hot chocolate cafe, not very traditional but it will be fun all the same :-)

Could you placate them with something like that?

I didn't want one either and my sister insisted but to be honest I'm dreading it! Can't put my finger on exactly why, but I've never been one for a big fuss so it's all just a bit overwhelming. I managed to get her to compromise and at least not involve anything embarrassing/tacky. I sound like a massive prude but the idea of strippers etc just sounds horrible to me! I'm hoping she has arranged some sort of craft activity or something with a few cocktails after!

It's nice that your friends want to plan something for you though. Perhaps you could just get them to arrange something low-key like a nice meal?

If you don't provide a guest list then they can't arrange it. Just keep repeating it. They will get the message eventually :/ Out of interest, who are your bridesmaids? Because if mine weren't prepared to listen to my feelings, they wouldn't be my bridesmaids anymore.

Good on you! Stick to your guns.

Hen parties are an expensive hassle for everyone involved and usually a total anti climax when it comes!

Weddings are an expensive enough time for guests without asking them to fork out more money for a hen party for the bride (who is choosing to get married and inflict all the expense on to others)

I definitely don't want one either!

I agree with the previous posters who suggested there must be something you'd like to do.

I'm assuming you like these girls or they wouldn't be your bridesmaids, so just think of it as a get together with people you like to spend time with, doing something you enjoy. It can be labelled a hen for their sake, but doesn't have to have any elements of a 'typical' hen do.

If you really don't want one just sit them down and tell them the reasons why, hopefully they will listen.

That said there's no way my sisters would of listened, so we had a jam packed weekend but I banned strippers, clubing and any kind of hen naughtiness. I also made sure there was only 6 of us and 3 of them were in the bridal party.

Work also wanted to arrange a hen so we went out for dinner, it was so much fun as it was very casual.

If you really can't get out of it maybe just keep it small, like a meal out or a girls night in with nibbles and trashy movies.

It's a real shame when your friends won't just listen to you and respect your wishes!

I would be inclined to tell them a bit more forcefully that you don't want a hen night and that you don't wish to discuss it again. If they are real true friends then they should respect your wishes instead of keep forcing the issue just because they want a night out for you.

The bridesmaids are my sisters.

They went ahead any way and organized a "day out" despite my wishes.

My partner came home drunk the night before and told me my sister had even contacted him for a cringeworthy Mr & Mrs quiz! I was absolutely fuming. My sister didn't run with it, thankfully.

There are plenty of things that I enjoy doing, these are not the things my friends enjoy. My sister put so much thought into tailoring to me, one of my friends even said "why would I join in, I don't even like this, I'd never have come if it wasn't your hen do".

The whole thing was an awkward and totally unnecessary.

Make it VERY clear if you do not want a hen do. Or better yet have no bridesmaids.

I would change the wording from I do not want a hen do - to I am not having a hen do. That is really all there is to it. It's your choice. If you don't want one don't have one. Personally I prefer the idea of a meal out with friends and family and my other half! But that is just me and my choice. You should go with you and yours :-)

Im being forced i dont do well in social situations anymore ive had severe anxiety for a while and the thought of it is making me so poorly over it but no one seems to get it, when we go out on meals for birthdays i hide in the toilet so i dont get sung to i get so embarrased and the thought of just going for a meal is just as bad i am already nervous for the big day as it is without the added stress of this so i totally feel you! X