Dwarfs/Dwarves

FFS, JCG, the whole point of those comments was that Nick wanted to know whether it was acceptable to refer to this person's condition as him being a dwarf, NOT that Nick was planning to call him Shorty or oompa Loompa or make any other unacceptable reference to his condition. All the seven-dwarves comments were aimed at taking the piss out of the politically incorrect, not taking the piss out of people with a disability/condition.

You really can be awfully obtuse sometimes.

Jcg - i m afraid you have misunderstood my question, and sophies posts as well. It had already been addressed in terms of what I meant; I thought it was clear. It was not to place a label on anyway, just to be sure that if it came up in conversation, that I should particularly avoid the term or not. There was nothing more to it than that.

In terms of your "..i m x with cancer" etc point, well, thats not really valid unless there are obvious physical signs. As somoene said already, anyone, no matter what their appearance, should be addressed by their name, and this is of course what i would do. i was asking on the basis that in any conversation with people you meet, lots of things are discussed, and i didnt want to offend anyone if it was openly discussed.

The whole point of my post was to make sure t hat I didn't say the wrong thing, and there really is no need to go on the attack at all.

Blimey, so it's not acceptable to even acknowledge the existence of prejudice? Best I turn myself in to the thought police.

exactly.

I wasn't saying you were wrong SophieM (as I don't think you were), merely playing Devil's Advocate in response to JCG's post.

Like I said, I may have misinterpreted JCG's post anyway, and she may well have actually been upset by it. [shrug]

But minx, t he whole point of using those terms was to reinforce how totally unnacpetable they are. and the accompanying laughter is not aimed AT those people, its the nervous type of laughter whereby you know something is so totally wrong, you end up laughing.

Minx sauce, thank you, i think that's where i was coming from.

Sophie, it took a lot to post what i did. Thanks for the confidence knock of being "obtese"

"not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect; not sensitive or observant; dull. "

Perhaps if you'd felt the pain I've been through to get to this stage that i'm at, then, yes, I'd accept your comments. BUT, to tell me I'm basically thick, I do take offense too.

A scenario...if someone had posted about being black would it be okay to post " I wouldn't say this but I've just though about ***, nignog, blackie, golliwog jokes"....even if they wouldn't say it to someone black. It shows that mentality is still there.

Physical appearance is not important. It's the person inside (sorry if too cliche)

now this has really got my goat. youre SO wrong. add passive aggressive to obtuse as well.

NickJ, I'm agreeing with you.

My point (I think? ?) was that JCG has misinterpreted that as you actually taking the piss. I don't actually think she explained herself very well. Which I was trying to help with.

That doesn't mean I agree with her... just that I was trying to explain what she meant (as I don't think it was clear from her OP).

But like I said, I'll get my coat as I think I could just be making matters worse here ?

Oh for god's sake. I'm afraid I really don't care what you've been through, it's not relevant other than insofar as I suppose it can go some way towards your knee-jerk over-reaction to this thread. Imagine this:

Me: I was really shocked yesterday, my neighbour described a black person as a nigger.

Obtuse person: OMG, you said nigger, YOU RACIST!!!!!!!1!!

That's what's happened here.

OT, but I was interested to read the definition of "obtuse"- I've always used it to suggest something like deliberate misunderstanding- not thick but difficult and bloody-minded. I see I've been misusing it all my life.

Nick, It's not your origanl post I'm "irked" by. I actually appreciate the fact that you're asking for the best way to handle this situation. And, to be honest, although your the OP it was't your post I was upset by.

It was the "digs" and "jokes" which I felt insensitive. Just a peice of information, Achondroplasia (or the genetic condition itself) was only discoverd in 1994, and since then an awful lot has been done in the perception of people with the condition. Perhaps that's why I fould the seven dwarfs, and the umppha lumpas comments so inappropriate as it's outdates

Oh, and I thought hitched was meant to be a community...sorry if I was wrong

Fair enough you found it inappropriate but context is everything and I think you failed to understand the context in which those comments were made. They weren't digs or jokes from Nick or Sophie.

That's what I thought Obtuse mean too actually?

Sophie, i said ***, as your perfectly well know, to higlight that the term is not acceptible. AND YOU KNOW THAT!

I think you'll find you've been obtuse all this time ?

Have you actually gone back and read any of my respnses JCG? I KNOW attitudes like that are outdated. I don't care whether your son's condition is genetic or a random accident or caused by eating too many chocolate buttons. I (and others) were taking the piss out of the idea that Nick was plannnig somehow to refer to this person by their condition, rather than refering to the condition itself.

Either you're not willing to reread and improve your comprehension of my posts, or you've done so and are now deliberately misunderstanding and taking offence. There is simply none to be taken from anything I've said about your son's condition.

thats exactly the point!

Would I be wrong to <belm>

I don't think JCG is being deliberately obtuse here. I do think, however, that as she is quite close to this subject she has misinterpreted some of the posts as it's a subject close to her heart.

I think we could give JCG the benefit of the doubt here and not judge her further.

I do think comments like this though (however provoked they were) are unneccessary.

VERY ?

OK ?

I thought obtuse meant what Knownowt said too. Does this mean I am obtuse?

Thank you. I apologise if I've been over sensitive, but it took me a lot to post my original post. it's bloody hard. Of course we all want perfect children (and, Sophie, what WAS the cholcolat button reference?)

I'm appreciative that Nick actually asked about the PC terms. I really am. And, I've no bones with him.

I'd just like people to tink a bit beofe they "label" people Perhaps i'm more aware of this now because of Harriosn.

One thing i can say, he's made me a more "open minded"person, and I accept people for who they are

i think its a term thats generally misused when people really mean "deliberately misunderstanding/stubborn/not getting the point/being a bit dim". i ve been misusing it for years ?

Damn. All those times I've accused Mr W of being obtuse, he's probably been laughing at my misuse of the word. ?

I agree with Minx Sauce - it is obviously a misunderstanding, and I think people are not taking that on board and now being quite rude to JCG for no good reason

L
xx

I don't really see why I should give JCG the benefit of the doubt when she hasn't accorded me the same courtesy, but has assumed that I was being ignorant and prejudiced aand needed "educating" into the causes of dwarfism.

i agree. plus, she still hasnt accepted that the meaning she thought was there, simply wasnt, even after repeated attempts to make it clear.

Oh for goodness sake, this is childish ?.

JCG has apologised for misinterpreting your posts...

I thought JCG had already apologised?