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Beginner October 2015

Emotionally drained

cez1987, 13 March, 2015 at 09:14 Posted on Planning 0 6

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I apologise in advance for my rant but I have nowhere to turn to.

This wedding is starting to drain me emotionally. Every day there is something new. It started with the fact that my MIL was so over the moon that she wanted to get involved which was great. So she said that in January we will sit down and start planning. This never happened and all I get is 'so what have you planned this week?' I once showed her some flower girl dresses I liked and now she's adamant on getting them made by someone that she met like a million years ago. I was happy with this until neither of us have had a response from her in like 2 months. Now I'm panicking because I don't want to take over. The dresses I like can be bought so easily. All along she has said she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me but I never wanted to go. I found my dress online and ordered it but she doesn't know that so I don't want to break her heart by telling her I got it without her. So she still thinks I don't have a dress. My OH had a suit fitting last week and she just fobbed us off saying she was too busy to come which was strange because my OH is still a mummy's boy at the age of 24. She calls him up to tell him to wear a coat for crying out loud. We told her that we need to get my FIL, my BIL and my nephew in for suit fittings but again! she doesn't seem bothered. Like she just wants to leave everything until the last minute.

My OH doesn't want to plan anything. He's more interested in gaming and watching TV. Then when I ask him for an opinion or ideas he just says he doesn't know.

My sister is getting married a month after me and we haven't really spoken for a few years but I still asked her to be my bridesmaid and she accepted which is all fine. I really thought this would be a great talking point where we could share ideas etc but she's gone the extra mile and sworn my mum to secrecy because she's afraid I will copy her wedding. Bearing in mind I have never once copied her on anything ever. She even laid into me the other week saying it was my fault she's having her wedding after mine because apparently I told her to which I didn't.

My mum, I love her to bits and she has offered to do so much but what I have asked her to so, she hasn't done. I asked her to do a reading and she said she'd think about it and that was in January. I asked her for some photos of relatives who have passed away because I want to do a table and she said that it's just going to bring everyone to tears. So I felt like it was a stupid idea. Still no photos.

As for myself, I am a head chef and created wonderful dishes for people's weddings but I can't do one for my own. People know I am a chef so I'm worried they will expect that to show in the menu but the issue is I know the people at the wedding. I know what the eat and don't eat so I'm working on a personal basis as opposed to a professional basis which is not getting me anywhere.

Feeling a bit lost at the moment and again sorry for the rant

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6 replies

Latest activity by MrsB88, 13 March, 2015 at 15:29

Beginner September 2014
AuntieBJ · 13 March, 2015 at 09:21
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And....breathe! Deal with all these things one at a time:

MIL - be honest with her - tell her you've bought your dress and you're really happy about it. Tell her that you can buy the flower girl dresses and that, as lovely as it would be to have them made, they are cheaper to buy and you can get them quickly and easily. As for the suit fittings, tell your OH to get it sorted and soon or his fellas will be walking up the aisle naked.

OH - turn the TV off and stand in front of it and scream if you have to. Or cry.

Sister - ignore it. It's not worth your time or energy to worry about. Concentrate on your own wedding and let her concentrate on hers.

Mum - sit her down, take a deep breath and ask her straight out, is she going to do a reading. Tell her you will understand if she doesn't want to and be prepared for her to say she doesn't. Go hunting for the photos yourself - if she's anything like my mum, they're in a box in a cupboard somewhere.

Food - it will be lovely, no-one will worry about whether it is up to your chef standards and will understand that you won't be overseeing it yourself. So stop worrying about it.

Now, just enjoy the planning process xxx
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Beginner October 2015
cez1987 · 13 March, 2015 at 09:32
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That has put a smile on my face. That is perfect advice and I like the idea with threatening the boys about walking up the aisle naked lol. Thank you hun. It's made me feel a lot better x
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Beginner July 2015
mrsgzd · 13 March, 2015 at 13:23
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As above really. You just need to be harsh/blunt sometimes otherwise you won't be happy and just remember that by the wedding day/the day after they won't even remember that you had a fall out or told them something they didn't want to hear so I wouldn't worry too much.

Or you could just completely change your plans......a friend of mine got married in the Bahamas a couple of days ago.....looked AMAZING and no stress from family and hubby might be a bit more interested if he hears the words holiday and Sun x
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Beginner July 2015
mrsgzd · 13 March, 2015 at 13:23
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As above really. You just need to be harsh/blunt sometimes otherwise you won't be happy and just remember that by the wedding day/the day after they won't even remember that you had a fall out or told them something they didn't want to hear so I wouldn't worry too much.

Or you could just completely change your plans......a friend of mine got married in the Bahamas a couple of days ago.....looked AMAZING and no stress from family and hubby might be a bit more interested if he hears the words holiday and Sun x
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Beginner July 2015
mrsgzd · 13 March, 2015 at 13:23
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As above really. You just need to be harsh/blunt sometimes otherwise you won't be happy and just remember that by the wedding day/the day after they won't even remember that you had a fall out or told them something they didn't want to hear so I wouldn't worry too much.

Or you could just completely change your plans......a friend of mine got married in the Bahamas a couple of days ago.....looked AMAZING and no stress from family and hubby might be a bit more interested if he hears the words holiday and Sun x
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Beginner July 2015
mrsgzd · 13 March, 2015 at 13:23
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As above really. You just need to be harsh/blunt sometimes otherwise you won't be happy and just remember that by the wedding day/the day after they won't even remember that you had a fall out or told them something they didn't want to hear so I wouldn't worry too much.

Or you could just completely change your plans......a friend of mine got married in the Bahamas a couple of days ago.....looked AMAZING and no stress from family and hubby might be a bit more interested if he hears the words holiday and Sun x
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Beginner August 2015
MrsB88 · 13 March, 2015 at 15:29
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Exactly this! Perfect advice x
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