engagement party

We don't have an engagement party. ☹️

We never bothered with one, we got engaged at the end of July and we're getting married in March so seemed a bit silly to have an engagement party with the wedding so close!

Good luck with the planning, it's a good reason for a get together ?

x

I'm probably the least qualified to answer (so sorry if it's totally unhelpful!).... We're not having one (for obvious reasons!), and I have only ever been to one and I have no idea who organised it but it did turn out to be a good way for the families/friends to meet.

Kind of related - we are organising our own post-elopement party because it will need to be sorted before everyone knows ha!

We organised our own and invited family and friends. We had a garden party (thank god the weather was nice) put up a few gazebos we borrowed from people, mum is a caterer so she made the food which was curry and chilli with rice and told everyone to bring there own drink - even though we stocked up just incase people ran out!

Didn't cost us too much money which was a god send as we are spending a lot on the wedding.

If I were you I would organise your own, u get what u want and get to invite who you want. Remember this is yours and your partners day not anyone else.

Enjoy x

Wow, didn't realize it was so common to not have one... my engaged friend have had them but their families always love a reason for a party lol

also what where peoples invite polices?

did you only invite people who where invited to the wedding or did you invite everyone?

sounds really nice, I dont trust the weather though it seems to hate me lol

I was thinking of hiring a room in this old historic stone built building (that is now a night club but it doesn't look like one) and having (the dreaded) candy station with cookies and cakes as we dont have a huge budget but I found a few DIY thing on pintrest that look cute and will cost pennies ?

We didn't have one. TBH it didn't even occur to us!

The first time I got engaged we didn't have one.

When OH finally gets around to proposing, we agreed we'd organise one with our friends, as we're eloping it's a way for them to share the celebration with us without realising they wont get to go to the wedding.

Same

JJKCB you seem quite preoccupiued with class/money/what people think. Why not just do what you want and not worry about what the internet says is tacky? I don't really know why you would expect your parents to organise a party for you and even if they did how would your guests know who had done what anyway?

To answer the question we are not having an engagement party.

I have my own opinions on tacky thank you very much and if I followed what others online wanted then I wouldn't be having a triple themed wedding and I very much doubt id have the dress im having which most people would hate, if I did what my family wanted I would be in the damn club I hate again and if you read my post ive never expected my parents to organize of pay for anything, we are doing it all ourselves... apparently the invites should state a host which shouldn't be the bride/groom or it looks like your trying to get money/gifts (we dont expect anything but I hate writing no gift as that is usually a way of saying 'we want gifts but dont want to look rude')

I dont want to organize something then have no one turn up because they think its rude though... last thing I want to do is somehow piss people off, such as inviting people and then telling them there not invited to the wedding if they assume they are

this place is for asking advice, dont see why some people have to use that to try a put down strangers by assuming they no anything about them from a handful of posts

We had one - it's a great excuse for a party ? we didn't hire a venue or anything like that though, just invited close friends and both our sets of parents over to our flat. There was about 34 people in our open plan kitchen / living room, fair to say it was a bit of a squeeze!

I've never heard of people getting others to organise engagement parties for them???

Lol sounds like a wild night... my friends was like that, I have no memory of it though (think I drank a little too fast on an empty stomach)

thats my thoughts too, my friends where hosted as a joint thing between them and their moms (they invited their friend and their moms invited theirs and bought cake/food/cameras etc...)

We had one and we loved it. We joint organised it with our parents and used OH's parents back yard. There was about 100 people there (smaller than the actual wedding) but we found it snowballed.

We got the local indian to cater it and stocked up on booze in Costco.

Everyone loved it and it was really good to see our families mixing together.

No. We didn't have one. Like the website you quote, I think - sorry everyone - that they are a bit attention-seeking. You got engaged, big whoop. I didn't expect anyone else to go mad over it. And cynical me says it's an excuse for more presents - can't go empty-handed, can you?

Sorry, I am not trying to put you down. I just don't get what you're worried about. If you want a party just have one.

Sorry, I am not trying to put you down. I just don't get what you're worried about. If you want a party just have one.

I guess I see the wedding as a celebration of the fact you got engaged...as that is the point of it after all.We were really touched with how sweet people were when we got engaged, because not for one minute did we expect them to be as excited as us. Having said that, if you want a party, have a blinkin' party!

I agree with footlong. They're a bit attention seeking. I know several people who have had 3-4 engagement parties. It's just not a big deal, sorry.

most wont bother, im the big gift giver in the circle and most wouldn't even think to buy a gift but I find writing 'no gifts' just reminds them and puts the idea in their head that they have too which might be worse than just not saying anything

and even though I love buying gifts its just been small this like 'engaged' photo frames or bottles of wine etc...

out of curiosity are you eloping?

We're not having an engagement party.

I'd rather save as much money as possible for the wedding.

No, I am already married.

<<<this is me.

Why?

I just wondered as it seemed from the post that you dont like attention or fuss

I would just assume that if you think no one cares about the engagement then you would think the same of weddings

I think it seems nice to show people that care about your life and find out about theirs, none of my friends are married yet (we all have long engagements planned) and for my best friends engagement last year it was the first time I saw them in 4 years since I moved away... it was great seeing the people that are like family to me again and they finally got to meet my OH and I got to meet hers etc...

Why? That doesn't follow.

I didn't have one. We got engaged not long after our daughter was born, and I was bloody knackered.

We didn't have one but a few of our mates met us down the pub for celebratory pint and to hear about how OH proposed. A few people asked if we were going to have a party but didn't want to make a big deal out of - that's what the wedding is for!

because a wedding is a big attention seeking-y party after an engagement

P.s... I dont think ive ever even taken a selfie lol

I can see where you're coming from and as a guest if you were expected to get a present for that as well as everything that goes with a wedding then I think it is asking a lot.

However, I did have an engagement party but for one reason only - as a reason to bring his close family, my close family and our closest friends together in the same place ahead of the wedding (we were planning the wedding in less than 6 months so wasn't long between). We wanted the main people in the wedding to get to spend time together before the day and introduce people who had never met. There were 16 of us in Mum and Dad's house/garden. We bought all the food and alcohol and so glad we did it as we have some lovely photos of us all from that day.

I see the engagement as being "we're going to get married some time in the future" and the wedding as "we're actually getting married now come and watch and celebrate" that's why we didn't make a big deal out of the engagement.

As opposed to the more standard definition: a day to celebrate the beginning of a marriage?

I don't see an engagement as an entity in itself. It is a period of time that commences when people decide to get married. Or, even more to my preference, it commences when you set a date and are therefore, by any definition, 'engaged'.

I didn't have one as I don't see the point in them. Maybe I'm just a nutter but I don't want any forced attention, I'm grateful enough that I will have my friends and family to celebrate the start of my marriage with me.

But if you want one, have one. Each to their own and all that.