Epically bad hen do - 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not had a hen do for myself yet but my best friends hen do to Disneyland Paris about 15 years ago was a bit of a disaster as everyone fell out! She had her FH’s sisters there and I seem to remember they were trying to put her in L plates and veil and my best mate just lost it and was upset. It was so long ago that I can’t remember all the details but one hen tried to make arrangements to go home on the first night it was that bad. We laugh about it now but obv at the time it was upsetting. The problem is there is so much pressure on hen dos and indeed the wedding and throw in some emotions and alcohol and it can get messy.
I would try to remember the actual wedding day instead. You don’t mention any issues there so hopefully it all went as you wished. The hen do was really only a bad night out after the wedding. And we’ve all had bad nights out I am sure. Try to take the focus off it being the actual hen do. And if people mention it then just laugh and say well it was only one night out and the wedding was amazing wasn’t it?

View quoted message Oh gosh well we didn’t have to travel that far at least 😅 . Also I think it just didn’t feel like a hen do anyway because it was after the wedding because of covid so all a bit out of sorts really, yes the wedding (although only allowed 30) was in May last year and such a lovely day to look back on. Rather that then the other way around for sure. I just needed to get this off my chest as it’s really not nice when it’s yours. Thank you for your message 💕💕

View quoted message I know it helps to hear other peoples stories too!
Glad the day was lovely for you.

My fella had a similar thing with a stag-do. He was a joint best man for his mates wedding. All five of them were organising the Stag do. It was terrible! One of them was being too politically correct about everything, one just wanted a huge piss up, one had no money and so made them do it in the same city they grew up in and lived all their life. Nothing my fella could do to persuade them to do something different or exciting (as the groom would want). So when they started they said what they were doing and the groom was so dissapointed he walked round for most of the day with a face like a slapped arse and was really sad. The only thing they managed to do to try and help was book a last moment axe throwing activity! He did cheer up after that but my fella felt so guilty and horrible that he couldn't give him the stag he wanted. He tried but the friends just wouldn't budge.


So no you are definitely not the only one who's had a bad experience. There is so much pressure on these things and it really depends on how well organised the group is. Plus it sounds like you had a lot of purely bad luck! Just remember that you had a lovely wedding and even though it didn't go well - those people still love you and wanted to come (barring the covid people of course!). Maybe you could organise for yourself a take 2? Don't call it a hen do but just go out with the same bunch and do the things you wanted to do?

Ah sorry to hear about this. Such a shame some of your friends didn’t want to do the spa when it was something you really wanted.
I would agree with the comment about arranging another night out. Don’t need to call it a hen do but invite the same people and plan it all yourself. Sounds like you had a run of bad luck.

I agree - plan a get together with your closest mates but don't call it a hen - maybe bill it as a thank you for them supporting you through getting married during a pandemic?

We're hoping to do a similar thing. We couldn't have a reception (or a hen/stag do) because of Covid and were sad to miss being able to spend time getting to know each other's closest friends. We feel a bit daft having a 'wedding reception' now we've been married 18 months, but we thought instead we'd invite people to a buffet meal as a 'thank you' for all the support they gave us over our wedding postponement and actual wedding.

As for your friends telling people how bad it was, if they're true friends, they won't be doing that. And if they are criticizing you like that, then you need new friends!

View quoted message Oh bless your other half, sounds like he really tried too! Thanks so much! It honestly was just bad luck and just didn’t plan out as we would have hoped! It’s just annoying I can’t shake that embarrassed feeling I have. I could organise another but would hate to ask people for more money! I will have a little think… thanks for making me feel a little better x

View quoted message Thanks so much ❤️ It was super bad luck, I couldn’t believe it after not being certain I wanted one in the first place! I will have a think about another night. Appreciate your message xxxx

View quoted message Love this message - thanks so much 🥺. So true re the friends. I’ve been thinking lately about how they affect me, but we’ve been friend so long. That’s a such a lovely idea about the buffet. It was strange not doing it all in order and properly because of covid but we’re married, that’s the main thing. ❤️