Evening guests... gift list?!

Hi, for day guests I have inserted gift info but I'm not for evening guests purely because we are not feeding them so they'll turn up and get a bit of cake at most!! So I thought it was far too cheeky to ask for anything from them because we're not having an open bar either so they'll have to pay for their own drinks whereas day guests will be fed a three course dinner and we're providing post ceremony, toasting and bottles for the table. Although I've still worded things in a way which says we really just want you there, don't worry about a gift but if you really want to then blah blah.

Are you providing an evening buffet etc.?

We have a website to RSVP on, so I mentioned it on there but didn't put cards in for the evening. I'm not expecting gifts from evening people but equally I have been an evening guest and bought a small gift and its useful to know what to get.

I didn't put anything in our evening invites (or day invites but that's a different matter!). If I were an evening guest I'd be a bit surprised to receive the gift list. I would however buy a small gift or give a small amount of money anyway

Exactly this.

Personally, I always raise a bit of an eyebrow if I receive an evening invitation with a gift list included.

I would always bring a gift, of course, but it would normally just be cash.

I dont think ill include a gift list maybe just a card with details of a wedding website (which will have blogs/gift advice/running plan/photos/updates etc...)

I agree with everyone else, I wouldn't include anything.

We haven't mentioned anything in the day invites either about gifts.

This made me think, we're feeding our evening guests and OH chose a money poem to put in the day invites (major cringefest!!) but we hadn't planned on putting anything in the evening reception invites. Whenever we've gone to a wedding we usually give money or an M&S gift card as I feel its polite, if I've been invited to any part of somone's most important day, then I feel I should say thnak you through a small token of appreciation. Saying this, we really havent got a gift list because although there are a few things we need (new bedding and towels) I wouldnt dare put them on a gift list so would rather use monitary gifts for that. Plus I'd feel awful if someone went to the hassle of buying me something that I didnt like!

Anyway, stop gabbling!!️?️ I hadnt thought of putting a note in the evening gifts, but as we are feeding them, should we maybe consider it?

I won't put the gift list in the invitation card of evening guests. Mainly because I think it is rude and inappropriate to give them to a bunch of guests who will be there for only a short period of time and probably will not be having much food or drink either. And it is your wedding, the choice is your's, you can decide on what to do. You don't have to worry about the norms and practices. I haven't decided on the cards to be put into the invitations. I have to decide on it with the wedding event planners, Superior Events, Toronto. But as of now I don't think I will keep a card in the evening invitations. They can gift me whatever they want.

I think your gut instinct of not including it in the evening invitations is the right one.

Thanks for the nudge Kharv! lol x

?

Is it somehow the case that the more you give your guests, the more entitled you are to ask for gifts? ?

If the answer to above is "no", then feeding them or not makes no difference....

When I go to a wedding I always try to make the gift I buy match the approximately what it's cost them to have me at the wedding - not because of the 'give to receive' thing, but I just think it's a good indicator - unless it's someone very special (best friend etc) then I give what I want to give. If I go to an evening do - then it's a token present. I like giving those personalised '..and they lived happily ever after' plaques.