Evening Invitations

Oh this has got me thinking now, I'm not sure what I will do for the evening guests.

All I can say is, if I was a guest going to a wedding reception I would definitely give a gift. Ill be interested to see what everyone else thinks.

I'm asking for money in the day invites but not the evening as some people may only come for a couple of hours and it doesn't seem fair that they may be made to feel they should bring a gift. Also the day guests are all close to us and we know they won't be offended by the mention of money and would get us something anyway. Some of our evening guests we don't know well enough to ask and it seems a bit cheeky.

I was wondering the same thing myself
My OH suggested maybe just putting the poem in the evening invites that are being sent to family ... but like you I don't know what the 'right' thing to do is
xx

I am in the process of sending my evening invites out now and haven't included anything about gifts/money etc - but I did with the day guests

If we do get anything from our evening guests it will just be a nice surprise

xx

GCL2015 - I agree with you, if I was invited to an evening wedding and anything wasn't indicated in the invitation I would definitely turn up with a present; but I would worry about what gift to take to the couple. I wouldnt want to take them anything that wasnt useful but equally I wouldnt want to take them anything they thought was rubbish. I think potentially I'd probably put money in a card.

bliss_ballons - This is what I am worried about, I dont want the guests thinking that I am being cheeky. Thinking about it more, I might not include anything in the evening invitations.

LittleMissPanda - Thats a good suggestion from your OH - I know that family invited to the evening wouldnt be offended by us putting in a money poem. Maybe I should just do that?

AuntieJo1 - I am also leaning towards what you have said - if anything gets given to us by an evening guest is a nice suprise. Which I definitely agree with, and I think most of our evening guest would probably stick us some money in a card anyway!

I just dont know what the right think to do is. I don't want to assume that the evening guests are ok with giving us a gift/money. Maybe I won't include it? Any gift/money given to us would be absolutely lovely - i just really dont know what the right thing to do is!

On a similar note - where did the tradition of giving the bride and groom a gift/money come from?

xx

I think the suggestion of just putting it in for family is a good one. I don't think I'd be impressed if I received a money poem with an evening invitation to be honest!

Having thought about it some more today and reading all your comments and discussing with work collegaues - I dont think Im going to include it in the evening invitations. If are evening guests do send us a gift or money then it will be a lovely suprise.

Thank you all for your answers! xx

I've been wondering about this too.. I'm not sure what the norm is. Bit of an awkward one! I expect we will probably include something about gifts in our and then if people do want to get something they know where they gift list is and if they don't then they don't have to. x

I think you have to assess what guests you have invited to the wedding. It is acceptable to add the gift money poem to an evening invitation. Most guests want to give you a gift of some sort so at least by including the poem they know what you would prefer rather than having to guess. A wedding is a big occasion so is quite normal for guests to give a gift. I would in general expect your evening guests to contribute less but that is only fair when they have not shared the main part of your day.

I've just been drafting our evening invitations and we're not including anything about gifts at all. I don't think it's right to single out family because if they were close enough and/or you had space you'd include them in the full day. All evening guests should be treated the same in my humble opinion. If they give a gift we'll be delighted but do not expect it at all. I think putting a money poem in says you are expecting a gift and personally I don't like that especially on an evening invitation. If people ask then it's fine to tell them what you'd prefer.

I've received my evening invitations from the printers today. We're not putting anything in them about presents, we are including an information card with the day invites which mentions gifts.

Speaking for myself only - if I received an evening invitation with a guest list I would find that very rude. But I personally don't like any gift lists in any sort of invitations (although I do acknowledge it appears to be more common place these days) . It should always be provided upon request in my view.

I received one in an evening invitation from someone I've not seen or spoken to in over 2 years. I was not impressed in the slightest. If there wasn't a poem I'd have probably stuck £20 in a card anyway, but as they asked so bluntly I didn't even go as I was so annoyed!