Extended family quandary - invitations

I think it's difficult as step children become a part of the family however if you accept that your relatives travelling from abroad cant really not bring their children, then really you are only inviting the niece and nephew. They would be a siblings child and not a cousins child so are a much closer relative. I would invite the cousin and his wife but not his children. If you don't have the capacity to invite any cousins children (other than any who lives abroad) then they aren't being excluded because they are singled out. It's simply a matter of capacity. Of course you want you friends there. If they don't want to come without their children that's their choice.

Thanks Jayne that's a good point. I may just address the invite to the two of them and see which of the kids they add to the RSVP. In fairness his new wife is quite good at getting their Dad to look after them for some occasions.

Sounds like a plan but remember once they add the kids on you still have to decide what to do. And at that point they think the kids are coming. I think I would simply say the to constrictions on numbers we unfortunately can't accommodate the children at the wedding.

I think I would give them a call and explain that apart from your niece and nephew and those kids travelling from abroad that you can't accommodate any other children due to financial restrictions- assure them it isn't personal towards their children and that you would love to be able to invite the kids but just can't... That way when they get their invite they will know it REALLY doesn't include the children.

We are only inviting 'family children' to our wedding- even then one of my cousins was kind enough to double check if the kids would be invited or not and assured us she wouldn't be offended if they weren't! All my friends who have kids have been totally understanding about their kids not being invited- and are looking forward to a 'child free' day!

Thanks Jayne and MrsC. You're right I do need to be clear or I will be making a rod for my own back. Once they arrive on the day they will see what a small affair it is. Until the evening party that is! My sister is planning for her MIL to collect my niece and nephew at 6pm so she can let her hair down. Hopefully they will be glad to do the same...