Family

Is there a reason they didn't invite him? Perhaps they couldn't afford it or are not close to him? Or maybe they didn't have kids at the wedding. Personally I'd go with what your husband suggests, she's only 4, she shouldn't be affected by any disagreements between the adults and you said yourself it would be nice to have her there. Just my opinion though.

View quoted message Thanks for replying. They said no children to the wedding, our son was 6 weeks old and I was a first time mum breastfeeding. When I got to the wedding she had a little bridesmaid and pageboy (her friends children) ..... i just don’t want to have to deal with the sister in law I guess

View quoted message Ah I see. That's not particularly nice of them, I thought maybe they had decided to have no kids. That's what we've decided, but even then, if anyone had such a young child, I'd be ok with them coming- it's really difficult to leave them behind. Hmmmm. What does your husband to be think? Does he feel the same way? I'd say if you think you might want to maintain some sort of relationship with them then it would be nice to invite her/them, if you don't, then perhaps don't invite any of them? The daughter won't really remember it, she's too young. It's more about what you feel comfortable with

It's quite common to have a 'no children' rule apart from the wedding party (e.g. any children being bridesmaids or pageboys) so I wouldn't take it personally that they didn't invite your child. (Although most people make exceptions for such young babies, not everyone does. And if they didn't have kids themselves when they married, they probably didn't realise how difficult it was for you to leave such a young baby behind either)

I would make any decisions about bridesmaids without any reference to past offences - maybe this is the perfect time to bury the hatchet? If you would like this little one to be a bridesmaid, then invite her. If you think she will be in the way pre-wedding, she doesn't have to get ready with you. I have been to a few weddings where the tiny bridesmaids & pageboys have been got ready by their parents at home, and then brought to the church to meet the bride there.

Seems a tad mean they didn't allow nieces and nephews to the wedding, especially when your son was so young, would mean you'd have to stay at home and not enjoy a nice day at a wedding.
I'd do whst others have suggested, allow your niece but make it clear her parents would need to get her ready and you dictate what she wears since its your wedding.
I didn't particularly want children at my wedding but my fiancé wants his nephews there, I want my nieces there so we figured we'd let children come since we're having a destination wedding.

Thanks for the reply’s!

I don’t particularly want kids at our wedding but I couldnt have the day without all my nieces and nephews (it’s family) I just didn’t understand where my sister in law was coming from and I was so upset, plus my son was the only child in the family at that time. They said at the time he wasn’t invited and it would be nice for me to have a child free day/night.

Anyways I think I agree with you all and I might see about having her and they can get her ready as she’s so young.
Thanks everyone

You needn't hold a grudge, it's really petty, let this situation improve your relationship, it's not worth it!!)