Family drama - am I worried over nothing?

Sending you a big cyber-hug that you are having to deal with this hassle just before your wedding. Families can be the limit!

It sounds as if your mum is feeling very insecure about your dad's new wife being at the wedding - and I can totally understand that, given the past history. Maybe ask her if there is anything else you can do to make it easier for her? When she raises these worries, try focusing on the good things about this wedding that can't be changed by your dad's wife, however she behaves - like the fact that you and your fiance will be married and starting a new life together. And that her behaviour can't change the relationship between you and your mum either.

It might be worth having another conversation with your dad. Maybe just the two of you. Tell him that it's important to you for him to be there, but that you are really concerned about his wife's behaviour bearing in mind her track record. Concerns about her spoiling the wedding may be heard by him as you not wanting HIS wife to spoil YOUR wedding, and he may not want to listen to that out of loyalty to her. But maybe if you point out that this wedding is the ideal time for a new start and hopefully building a better relationship between his new wife and the family, he will be more accepting. And you can then say that if she upsets people as she has done at previous family events, it will stop this happening and cause further division, and that this would make you very sad.

If he's not the kind of person who will sit quiet and hear you out, you might be better off writing him a letter, even if you give it to him in person and sit with him while he reads it.

I hope everything goes much better than you are expecting, and that all your family forget their differences and pull together to give you a special day. Best wishes x

The main thing is that your dad needs to be there for the ceremony. If she kicks off you need 2-3 male friends on standby to remove her from the premises, then fetch your dad to take her home. She won't have chance to kick off until at least after the ceremony!

I must agree with Paula. If you think you need to have her at the wedding (for whatever reason), just have a bunch of friends keep an eye on her from a distance in case she tries something funny. That's basically my solution, unless you trust your father to be objective and stop her from doing anything. If your father is reliable, you don't need to worry, if you have doubts, just tip the security and ask them to keep an eye on her.
Much love to you for what you're going through