Family fall out

Congratulations! Don't let it get you down.

I personally have not been in the situation but I think this is what I would do.

You could try to explain to your mum that you are really close to her and your nana and while you understand that they don't get on (for whatever reason), you would like them both to come and ask her to consider coming even if just for you. You could promise to be sensitive to the topic and arrange the seating etc so that they wouldn't cross paths too much.

That being said, do bear in mind that if they are the type to fight when they do see each other it may be difficult to make sure they won't fight on the day. It is also worth thinking if it possible that the relationship will mend somewhat before your day - of course this depends on the situation and why they don't get on. It might also be worth asking any siblings or your dad or grandad etc (if you have any that you trust) for advice since they know the situation better than I.

But don't fret too much! Enjoy your engagement and know that you do not need to have all the answers right away.

I hope this helps a bit.

Has your Nan said anything?

Honestly, unless your mum plans on paying for the whole thing, tell her to suck it up. There is no way she will actually miss your big day if you are as close as you say, she's just kicking out.

We've had similar issues with my H2B's mum and dad. Just tell her that you won't sit them near each other and there will be plenty of other people that she can chat to. Remind her of the whole 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' thing.

But don't worry about it too much, chances are they'll make up before your big day.

Finally - congratulations! X

Your mum isn’t going to miss her daughter’s wedding. She’ll just be saying that.

Its really disgusting that parents use their children as weapons like this... if your mam misses your wedding then shes a selfish ass that cut her nose of to spite her face and put her anger above her own daughter, she probably will come which means shes just using words to hurt people which is a shitty thing to put on you

I honestly feel your pain. I am having a similar dilemma and alongside planning, it can be super stressful. I understand you feel deflated, because you want everyone to share your big day with you.

I'll explain my situation. Mum and dad divorced when I was 3 (I'm now 22), been civil(ISH) since. Dad's new wife (just got married a couple of weeks ago hastily because I booked mine for next year), we will call her A, was the "other woman" who broke up my parents marriage and hence they have never met. Her and my mum have a bit of history as she was very rude to my mum during the divorce. Long story short, mum doesn't want her there and keeps threatening not to come, and dad won't come without A and her son.

I would be heartbroken if either of them didn't show up, so I have said yes to A coming. Me and my partner both made this decision. For months we had mum saying one thing to persuade us to uninivite A, and dad saying he won't be there is she isn't coming as they will be married by then. As usual neither of them could see the others point of view. Me and my OH decided to invite A as we personally have very little issue with her, so we explained to both parents she was invited and that it was our decision, hence if they wanted to support us and our marriage it was something they were going to have to put to one side for a day or two.

Yes mum is still upset, but she will come. I have spent time and will continue to remind A and my dad that my mum may be a little uncomfortable given the circumstances and hence they should try to stay apart to avoid any arguements. Everyone is now being understand and amicable.

At the end of the day, it's your wedding. Don't let anyone tell you what to do, just do what feels right.