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Beginner June 2023 Cumbria

Family invites

Sophie, 8 February 2022 at 22:25 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 3

Me and the OH have started planning the guest list for our wedding but I'm struggling with my side of the family and need some advice.

I have 3 great aunts/uncles (my mums aunts and uncle), I only really want to invite one of them because I see them more frequently and get along with them.
My mum has told me it's bad etiquette to invite one and not the others, which I can understand.
What do you think? Have you had this situation or similar? Do I invite all of them?

3 replies

Latest activity by Chloe, 9 February 2022 at 12:54
  • L
    Dedicated June 2019
    LuxuriousPurpleBridesmaid73066 ·
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    Are your great aunts and uncles brother and sister or are they from opposite sides of your mum’s family? If they are siblings it may seem odd to them if only one of them gets an invite but if they are from opposite sides of the family it won’t matter. However there is also the monetary side and the venue numbers side which might both mean they can’t all come.

    We ended up inviting my husband’s uncle to our wedding even though he hadn’t seen his uncle since his aunt Betty’s funeral seven years earlier. It turned out my husband’s auntie Betty and uncle Alex were also one of my bridesmaids great uncle Alex and auntie Betty. The first we knew was when Alex phoned his sister in law (my mother in law) who he hadn’t spoken to since Betty’s funeral either saying “I hear Lisa is going to be John’s bridesmaid”.
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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    It is up to you, but I would saybitnmay cause issues and the others may feel upset by not being invited, that said if you don't see th them I probably wouldn't invite them. I had same issue as only wanted to invite one ofy cousins, I have 14 of th, soninnthe end I didn't and they are all coming to the evening as I personally can't be dealing with the family fallout I know will happen if I did invite just her. It is only 4 people so if your numbers and budget can accommodate it I would invite them
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  • Chloe
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Chloe ·
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    It's really tricky, we decided no aunts and uncles at all partly for this reason. If they were the only person coming on ether side of the families at this level, being treated like a "friend" invite rather than a "family" invite, you might just about get away with it... but from my experience if anyone not invited is likely to see the wedding photos/hear that someone of the same "category" as them is going then it could cause bad blood for years to come.

    My FH wanted to invite his aunts and uncles out of family obligation (he likes them), my aunts and uncles I'm not so close to, but I am super close to my dad's cousins and wanted them there, but extending the family that far opened up a huge can of worms because I couldn't invite the cousins without the aunts and uncles, and if my cousins were there FH's cousins etc would need to be there... and before you know it there's no room on the guest list for friends! We decided to simply draw the line at grandparents as it's a much easier decision to hold firm on. Our wedding is quite small (50) so it wasn't like we had 300 people and chairs to fill either.

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