Hi all,
I am getting married on 30th June and the whole planning process for me has been a very emotional nightmare.
My family are generally quite a dramatic and selfish bunch but have been even more so during planning. So from the minute I got engaged, everything started. My dad (who is not and has never been a traditional man - he was a single parent who has never been married!) when my fiancé proposed to me, my dad apparently had an issue with him not asking for his permission and was actually rude to my fiancé when we went out for dinner a week later. I told my fiancé that’s nothing to worry about and to ignore him, but he made my fiancé feel bad like he’d done something wrong. Throughout the whole planning process my dad has just made me feel *** about everything and has been talking about me and complaining about me behind my back to other members of the family.
Next was was my sister. I weren’t sure who to have as bridesmaids but finally decided on only having my sister (it was going to be a very very small wedding). When I brought up bridesmaid dress shopping and inviting my mum to it my sister had an issue and started an argument with me saying if my mum comes then she isn’t because she has an issue with my mum. She went on to say I’m makin her feel uncomfortable and I should think about her and how it makes her feel. This then resulted in my saying forget it I’m not having any bridesmaids. I later decided to have a bridesmaid again (I was convinced by the best man) and reinstated her. She didn’t attempt to do anything to help out with for the wedding and I was even planning my own hen do!
Next up was my mum. My mum was nice enough to take me dress shopping and when we spoke I asked her not to tell my older sister (who I fell out with some years ago) any details about the wedding and explained my reasoning and we had a big heart to heart about it. A week later, my older sister started a massive argument with me because my mum had told her about details of the wedding (after I specifically asked her not to) and my sister was upset that I hadn’t invited her and started saying things like “I hope you can live with yourself for not inviting me or your nephews to your wedding”.
This is was the straw that broke the camels back. I cancelled the wedding - the whole thing. I contacted all the vendors that same day and cancelled everything, lost all my deposits as well.
When end I told everyone, no one could accept it (apart from my fiancé’s parents who have been perfect throughout the whole thing). I text everyone the news and then my dad started more drama and was just thinking about himself. Saying he deserved a phone call to find this out not a text message (and didn’t care at all about how I felt or anything).
A fee weeks after that I went to visit my mum. For some reason she decided to show my fiancé a picture of my wedding dress (even though she knew I was still going to wear it whenever I did get married).
Despite all all of this I still spoke to them all and was still nice to them.
A few few days ago, we decided to have a small wedding at a registry office (where only my fiancé’s parents would be present as our witnesses) and then have a party at our house after. I thought I’d give them one last chance and invite them to the party to celebrate but this has resulted in even more drama! My sister (who was going to be the bridesmaid) started a massive argument with me saying I’m only seeing things from my perspective and I’m hurting everyone because everyone wants to see me get married. She made me feel like I was in the wrong saying I’m embarrassed of them that’s the real reason I’m not inviting them and saying they’d done nothing wrong. She then went onto say she’s not coming to the party and she doesn’t want to talk to me again saying “you’ve lost me over this” so we no longer have a relationship. My mum also started an argument with me saying similar things and that she too isn’t coming to the party because she’s offended that my fiancé’s parents are invited to the registry office and they aren’t. My dad hasn’t even replied to the invite..
I’ve spoken to my fiancé who agrees with me but am I wrong? They’ve all made me feel like I’m in the wrong but I’ve been so upset and hurt (often I’m tears) over this. I feel like they’re lucky I’m inviting them to anything but they all think I’m wrong?
I just want to clarify my family and I aren’t that close anyway and my sister always tells everyone all of my business, even stuff I ask her not to tell people
I need help help with some clarity I guess..
