Fear of making up my mind - dresses...

Hmmm well I love Ian Stuart dresses (love anything slightly different and dramatic!) but tbh I don't think it actually suits you that well. It's not that flattering to your figure. Maybe with a big hoop it may look more balanced, I don't know.

I love the Cymbeline dresses you mentioned - have you got pics of you in those?

I have photos of me in the Cymbeline dresses, but the samples were a bit too small, so I could only try on the lace overlayers without the underdress. That means that you can see my underwear and I'd rather not post that...

You got me panicking now BarefootBeachBride, I thought that was actually the only cut that suits me and flatters my figure!!! Princess dresses make me look massive and fishtails I can't even get over my hips - no need to mention that the one I actually got into looked absolutely ridiculous... I liked the front silhouette in the fitted A-line of the Ian Stuart dress, but as I said I am not sure about the profile as it makes me look flat-chested, which I am sooo not...

I think the dress does suit you, and I think it will definitely look better in Ivory - but it definitely looks too boobilicious right now! I think that yes if they order the dress in the size to fit your boobs then take in the rest of the dress it will be an amazing dress on you.

But with this many doubts before putting down a deposit i would continue to look. If you then come back to this dress then you know its the one. Also if one A-line made you look flat chested that doesnt mean they all will - keep looking!

Hmm, I'm unsure about the Ian Stuart dress on you. From the side it gives you an amazing shape, but from the front it doesn't do you any favours! It feel like it might be too many layers of fabric, or it's too ruched and making you look bigger than I think you probably are - especially up top. Maybe if the sleeves started at your shoulders it would balance things a bit?

Well, the thing is this was 3 months ago and I have been trying other things since then and always come back to it. The panic only started when I was confronted with actually committing to it within the next two weeks.

The top bit is definitely too squeezed in this sample, I know that, once it came into the bust region the zipping up was a major effort (further down it went really easily). I think this is also the reason why the shoulder/sleeve bit kept on moving down my arms as well (venart, I am looking at you here - yes, it is supposed to start just off the shoulder and looked much better that way). I am quite worried though that because of the really heavy boning even in a size or two up my breasts will have that 'strapped down but they have nowhere to go so they get squeezed up' effect.

I was actually very happy with the fit around waist, stomach and bottom, just the bust bit (and the bust-to-stomach-ratio in profile as I said before) irritated me - but now I am starting to think it makes me look big in total, with so many of you saying it's not right on me (please don't misunderstand this, I am very grateful for your honest opinions!).

Hmm. From the waist down I think it looks lovely on you so I think once they sort the top out to fit around your boobs it will look amazing. I wonder if like someone else said they could start the sleeves on your shoulders too?

I love the dress by the way!!

I'm not seeing that it makes you look big at all, I think it's a lovely shape on you, just the boobs bit that needs sorting.

P.S I am jealous, I have to buy fillets and wear a double gel bra to go in my dress lol

From the side it makes you so slim but from the front its not too flattering, sorry. What other styles have you tried? Maybe a lighter colour would suit?

Yes, I don't want the colour the sample came in (that was 'honey') - you can get the dress in all ivory which is what I want. The sleeves are supposed to start just off the shoulders (so a lot higher, but because the dress was so tight around the top they kept on moving down my arms (at least I think that this is the reason). The lady pulled them up into the right place and that looked great, but by the time we took the photos they had slid down again... I am thinking/hoping this would not be a problem with the dress in an appropriate size and fitted around my boobs...

Sian-Tiffany - do you mean the whole dress from the front or that said top bit? I have tried loads of A-lines (less fitted around the hips), princess - both styles made me look massive. I was desperate to at least try on a fishtail and it took me about 6 shops before I found a sample that actually went over my hips. I think I should take this as a sign that fishtail is not for me (in one shop even a size 18 did not go over my bum...) as I have big hips and it would look ridiculous.

P.S.: Aww Debs, I am jealous, you must be able to pull off so many styles of dresses, I have to 'build' everything around my bust... I guess the grass is always greener on the other side

Ulil, I am the opposite actually. I can't wear the princess style dresses because they make me look big around the hips too. I am only 5ft 3 or 4 and so I get lost in them. Other dresses I can't wear because I have no boobs lol I am wearing everything I can lay my hands on that is padded on my wedding day haha.

I really like this dress and think it will look lovely up the top once it's done to your size!

Debs, I actually just stalked you a bit and found that picture of you in your dress. I love, love, LOVE it - suits you so well (and it is so different and dramatic, just gorgeous)! Also, thank you for your opinion (well, obviously thank you all for your opinions, very grateful)!

I am actually going back tomorrow to try on the dress again. I have lost a little bit of weight since the last time I had it on, so maybe that makes a difference (though I never lose weight at the top...), BUT I will defintely not let the lady force the zip up this time, maybe if she just pins me in so that it sits loosely enough around the top and the sleeves are in the right place too - maybe then it will help me to make my mind up. Hopefully I will be able to take another photo then and I can show you...

Well, I guess I'll update you tomorrow or on Sunday - have a lovely weekend till then - and thank you again!

Aww thank you Ulli!

I'm glad you are going back for a second try, I honestly thing it's flattering! If you can, stand agasint a darker background or one that isn't the same colour as your dress because you will see how tiny your waist looks in it then! It's a hard call, I wasn't sure about mine because the one I tried on was a 14 and I need an 8 probably but I had to try and imagine what it would look like when it was made to fit me, it's difficult but I have gone for it now so no going back lol

I love your dress for the same reason, not a typical dress at all and love how dram it is! Have fun trying it on tomorrow, I bet you will go for it! x

I have just showed my OH and he says it's very flattering on you! And he doesn't give very good compliments when it comes to wedding dresses, I have spent many a day hating him for not liking what I like haha

Hi Ulli,

Just checking in to see if you went to see your dress and how it went? x

Hi!

Debs, thank you so much for your messages on Friday night, I only just saw them now!

So I went back to the shop yesterday to try on the Brasilia again and talk about my concerns. The seamstress said that if we order the dress in a bigger size and take some of the boning out we will achieve the look I want. We took a photo with the zip not forced up, so the breasts are not squeezed and the sleeves start higher up:

But then something happened that completely threw me. They asked if I wanted to try on anything else. So I said - "well did you get anything new in since I have last been here in July?" - no, not really, but why not try on all kinds of different styles again, we have enough time - so I said "I know that fishtails look awful on me and we won't even get this one over my hips!", but the lady said let's try anyway! You won't believe what happened: It fitted like a glove. That excercise seems to be working (have not actually lost that much weight according to my scales, but I seem to have shaped up quite a bit). I love it sooo much - it made me feel beautiful, sensual and confident - sexy without being slutty or worrying about any areas of my body if you know what I mean. Did not want to take it off and said in the end after trying on other dresses "can we please put it on again, just one more time, please!". I have photos from all sides and love the fit of the dress from every possible angle (unlike with the photos of the Brasilia). I only flash the front view though as I don't want to spam you all too much... Oh, I should also mention that I would have the blingy bit taken off so it's just lace allover.

So I am not saying that the Brasilia is out of the question now as I still love it, but I will not commit to it in a hurry. I will look into more fishtails (even though it is very much possible that I come back to the one in the photo) and who knows what will happen then - possibly I come back to Brasilia, possibly I go for fishtail (the latter seems more likely and right at the moment)...

Without question the second dress is so much nicer on you!!!! really flattering dress! xxxxxx

Much much much better. You look slim and spectacular. SOOO much nicer than the Brasilia, that, I'm sorry, I feel made you look older and a little podgy. (Hey, I'm not tactful but I AM honest, and the second dress really gives you a model figure!)

Hi, I think the dress looks so much better in the picture where it hasn't been done up all the way but I think the last dress looks amazing on you.

It's so hard to choose when the dress isn't in your size isn't it. xxx

Wow, that second dress looks amazing, I even like the bling!

Now the Basilia hasn't been done up so tight it looks 100 times better already so I think that if that was made for you it would look beautiful too. What size did you say you are again? You don't look big!!

I think they both are flattering, in fact I think the first one needs curves to pull it off, you look far from podgy

I think you look fab in the dress

Thank you everyone! I have to admit thinking about it and looking at the photos I feel more and more excited about fishtail on me. I keep on looking at the photos and get this feeling of 'wow, I actually am attractive'. The Brasilia sample is a size 14 - very frustrating to think it is too small when I usually wear a 12 in normal clothes. And yes, it is sooo hard to imagine how it will look and IF it will in fact look the way I want it to. The fishtail is actually a size 16, but as my lovely bridesmaid said it does not look like a 16!

So is that a decision made?

I LOVE the second dress, so much more flattering. The first dress does nothig for you at all but the second one is amazing!

Yes, even my sister who does not like fishtail out of principle said this is the dress for me - I should probably take the hint . I will go on one more dress shopping outing tomorrow with a focus on fishtails, just to make sure, but I have the feeling I will go back to that one shop very soon and make it official (also the shop and the ladies there were great so I'd love to give them business)!

On a slightly different note: this whole spiel has confirmed one thing for me - I personally never would commit to a wedding dress without having seen a photo of myself wearing it!

Well let us know how it goes tomorrow and good advice

I definitely think fishtails suit 'hippier' people! I never thought I would be able to get away with a fishtail because of my hips but I actually think the fishtail balances out the hips lol I'm glad I have gone for mine. I think whatever one you choose it will look fab! x

Just came back from London where I went to two more boutiques (one of which I had been to before and they are awesome, that's where I tried on the Cymbeline dresses for the civil wedding). For the church dress I am defintely going for fishtail (!) - just not sure which one yet, have a couple now I really love (including the one I flashed higher up in this thread). Also they had a new Cymbeline dress in which I loved - at the moment it feels equal to the Galile. All very confusing, between 2 lace fishtail dresses for church and 2 dresses for civil...

As weird as it sounds, it does not help at all that there are quite big price differences between the respective options - in fact it makes it harder. You would think if you love both equally you go with the cheaper one - but no, not for me! I start thinking: "are you imagining you love this as much as the other one because it is cheaper and deep down you think you should go for the cheaper one, but even deeper down you know that the more expensive one is the right one and you will regret settling on the cheaper one..." And so it goes around and around in circles (also goes the other way around, something along the lines "just because it is more expensive doesn't mean it is better - don't be such a spoilt luxury brat..."). I have always been one to completely overthink things but this is just getting ridiculous now!

Anyway, as you probably have gathered I am super confused right now. I am sure my 2 dresses are 2 out of these 4 (I guess that is a major step forward if you think about it), but my opinions about the 2 options each change from minute to minute. I will have to sleep on it and look at the photos as I think this will be the only way I will be able to decide... Maybe tomorrow we know more?