Feel like everyone is stealing my thunder....

Hey

I don't think you're being selfish, I think it's a natural feeling and I'd probably feel exactly the same. If you've got everything booked and flowers, etc decided then they can't say you've copied them on anything. I guess part of me would probably want to try to come up with something original that they wouldn't think of but then at the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy (I bet everyone is saying that to you lol) and not get into the whole competitive thing. Maybe they were all just jealous of you and are getting married quickly just because they want to be able to say they did it first! Families hey!

xx

I think yes, you are being selfish and to be honest I think you need to get a grip, grow up and get over yourself.

For heavens sake, what did you expect - that everyone else would put theirs lives on hold until after you had got married?

I understand what you're saying and im sure i wud prob be annoyed aswell but as futuremrslord said the others may not want a long engagement and cannot put things on hold. i wud try not to worry because people have very different tastes and the likelihood of ending up with the same things is prob quite low...however i had a friend who got married in sep and she went to a wedding the week b4 and they had exact same bridesmaid dresses...she gok wonged her dresses with ribbons and you wud never have known they wer the same.

Look on the bright side; its all your other halfs relatives..... so thats only half the wedding party 'sick of weddings'. LOLOL. Your family have got yours to look forward to!

Besides, your H2bs relatives - cousins? - they dont count, lolol and as for his brothers wedding, well thats quite cool but how close are you to your new sis in law to be??? Besides they might elope/have a wedding for a dozen.

look on it as 'saving the best till last!' )

I wouldn't worry about people being fed up of weddings because ppeople love family get togethers in my experience. Just go for what you want and look at it this way you could get together with the other 2 brides and the 3 of you can talk weddings to your hearts content. they may also have the same worries.

WSS.

Saw your only other post from back in August about money and your Inlaws wanting to be really involved etc - if they now have many of thier own also getting wed, I'd imagine you'll be off the hook with having to have your control freak of a MIL (your words, not mine!) stomping all over your day as she'll be involved in her own side of the family getting wed.

No one should be able to steal anyones thunder by chosing to get wed in the same year.

you didn't introduce youself in your original post either back in August..... so when is the big day?

I can see were your coming from as I've felt exactly the same over the last week. We got engaged 6 weeks ago after being together over 7 years - I was ssoooo waiting for it and really excited. Then last week, OH's sister got engaged and I'll be honest and say - I was pretty pissed off and felt my thunder had been stolen. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for them and can't hold it against OH's sis as she didn't know it was going to happen! But I think I was more upset that they'd got engaged after 2 years! Which is probably about right but made me annoyed at OH for taking so long.

He said I was being pathetic and although they ain't planning on getting married until 2010 and maybe not even in this city - I'm definatly having second thoughts about inviting her to fairs and being involved in my planning as I want to feel like a bride to be and not share the wedding planning with another bride. I realise this maybe pathetic and bridezillaish but (just as she will) I've waited my whole life for this day and will not be doing it again so want to cherish every moment of it as me and OH and not have to hear about or stress about a relatives weddings and what they're doing IYSWIM.

But as has been said, they have every right to be engaged and get married and shouldn't have to wait for the right time as to not upset someone else! Just as people have the right to get pregnant even if they've agreed to be bridesmaid (OT) it's one day and don't stress or let another spoil it. Remember you have more time to plan and to be a bride-to-be, allot less stressful than planning it in less than a year and just enjoy it!

Thats just how life is really. Obviously all weddings are similar to a certain extent i.e. ceremony, photos, drinks, speeches, food, cake, reception etc but everyone personalizes it and I'm sure yours will be different. Just stick with what you and H2B planned and I wouldn't worry about trying to do something different just for the sake of it. The important part is you and H2B making a commitment to each other, not the dresses, car, meal etc. so try to keep that in mind.

I get married next May and my BM got engaged a few weeks ago and is getting married in April so will be married before she is my BM, but who cares - I'm really happy for her. I also have another friend that got engaged after me and is getting married in April too. I think most of us go through stages in life were all of a sudden there are lots of weddings and then there won't be any for ages, as I said thats just life.

I understand where you are coming from, but at the end of the day I doubt they have done it deliberately and if so then they really are very sad people.

We got engaged again (long story, just a very long engagement before so I decided to speed things up a bit!) only a month and a bit before my OH's cousin got married and have our date set for June (a couple of months before a friend of mine). Not intentionally trying to steal any thunder but it just happened that way. ALl these weddings kind of spurred us on as we've been together for 8.5 years and have a nearly 4 year old.

Such as when my dd was born my sister announced that she was pregnant. She told me first and said that she felt bad as it was my special time, but I was just so over the moon that she was having a baby I didn't care and it hadn't even crossed my mind.

It would also depend on when your wedding is booked for. If you aren't getting married for a year or two then I'm not surprised that their weddings are potentially going to be before yours.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that whilst yes I would be pretty pee'ed off (ts a natural emotion to have in such a situation), I would realise that I was being a bit selfish and that it probably wasn't deliberate. But it all depends on what these people are like in real life.

Stop worrying and enjoy seeing how they've done things so you know what works and what doesn't.

Its natural to get lots of weddings together as most people get married in the 20s and 30s. My mum, all my brothers and sisters and most of my friends have got married in the past 5 years. Its been a wedding every few months ? Its really not worth getting bothered about.

We got engaged wayyyy back in 2002 at the tender age of 18 (him) and 17 (me, well we got engaged at Christmas and my 18th was the following week).

We eventually set a date of September 2008 back in January 2007. We live in Northern Ireland and booked our wedding in Scotland (my home town), we called H parents to discuss details with them before booking and they said they would tell no one that we had booked the wedding as it was our place to do on return to Northern Ireland the following week.

We returned to the news that H cousin had got engaged and set a date of 3 weeks before ours. They did not know we had set a date and we did not know they had got engaged (they announced engagement/date of marriage at a family party held the day we returned and no one bar his mum knew of the news). I was thrilled for them and it didn't affect us at all as our wedding was in Scotland and the cousins wedding was obviously in his home town in Northern Ireland.

H and I spoke to his cousin and his fiancee (also called Victoria) at the party and made them aware that the previous week we had booked our wedding for September 07 and it was going to be 3 weeks after them! They were delighted and told us we had to tell the rest of the family there and then to give us more news to celebrate. This party was just a party held for no reason (often done in H family) and they were having a separate engagement party a few weeks after. We announced our news and we all partied as usual.

The next day H recieved an angry phone call (at around 7pm) from his mum (she always vents to us) to tell him his brothers girl friend (yes girl friend not fiancee) had booked their wedding for Valentines day 2009 - 6 months after cousins and 5 months after ours. She basically walked into BIL work at his finishing time of 6pm to tell him they had a meeting with her minister in 5 mins to discuss setting a date for their wedding. He hadn't even proposed to her at the time and as far as MIL understood had no plans of getting engaged any time soon. He went to the meeting and set the date so obviously couldn't have been too bothered by it or he wouldn't be going ahead with it, the wedding is now 6 weeks away.

Generally its a much smaller wedding than ours and alot of family have been excluded because they don't have the funding to caterer for all. H parents have given them the same as we recieved in monetary terms but have been given no info etc on what is happening on the day and know as much as any other guest attending the wedding as to what is happening etc. FIL and H do not even know and are not allowed to know until the wedding day what they are wearing. H is best man, where as for ours they had equal say in decisions especially as they had offered financial assistance.

I think you are behaving like a spoilt brat tbh and in my opinion there is no such thing as "wedding thunder" each wedding is different and the family will be looking forward to each wedding equally. Weddings are a celebration not a chance to show off how well off or a competition. Similarities can not be helped between weddings because there will always be a wedding service either civil or religious followed by a reception of some sort. We knew nothing of the finer details of H cousins wedding but ended up with the same flowers (different colours) and we both walked down the aisle to Canon in D. Also despite not being Scottish H and his cousin both wore kilts to their own weddings (H wore a kilt to our as I'm Scottish - his cousin just liked them) and H was 1 of cousins best men and cousin was one of H best men, this was something they had always stated as they are more like brothers than cousins.

I have been accused by BIL & finacee of stealing their wedding thunder as I will be 34 weeks pregnant with our second child at their wedding and as I'll be so heavily pregnant everyone will be looking at/talking to me instead of the bride, who apparently the day is all about?.

Regardless of who else is at a wedding it was my opinion that everyones attention was on the bride and groom as the guests are there to celebrate their commitment not talk to the heavily pregnant woman!

Ok, i get the message everyone - i need to chill out, thank you for your replies, i like some of your points that you have made. As all 3 brides live close we can at least get together and talk about what we all want from our weddings - sorry i come across as spoilt (maybe i am!), but i am a nice person really!!! My wedding is taking place in early September in Brum. I like the point however that MIL to be will be distracted now lol! Once again many thanks for the replies x