Fiancé not invited to cousin's wedding

Oh that's a tough one, but I definitely think you have the right to feel offended. I'd consider it rude, especially after four years with an upcoming wedding this year

I personally go by the guideline that if they're married, engaged or co-habiting (or otherwise in a serious relationship), they should be invited. Not as a +1, but as a named guest. I think this is pretty standard traditional etiquette, but traditions do change. But at the end of the day, not everyone views it the same way, and +1 drama is particularly contentions.

Regardless of whether they've met your fiancée, are they aware of her existence? If so, you can assume one of two things:

a) they made a mistake

b) they chose not to invite her

You could defo send a light hearted text to see what's up and if there's been a mistake, but in your situation should the response come back that there is no mistake (and it's their guest list, they can do what they want at the end of the day), I'd probably just decline the invite and send a nice card from you both.

I have cousins that I barely see and I'm not sure if I would invite their partners along if I'd never met them. To be honest I'm not 100% sure I'd invite my cousins as I barely know them!

Hi,

This is a difficult situation. It is better to discuss this with your Fiance. Either your cousin wanted to reduce the number of guests or not aware you are engaged.

You can discuss it with your cousin if you have a friendly relationship. I am a wedding planner from Chennai and in my experience, I have not seen such situations here. In my place, wedding parties are little bit extravagant and people would invite people they know and don' know. So, I don't have any experience of this kind.

What you can do now is discuss this with your Fiance. That would be the best option. Being open may help you. and your fiance can understand your situation.

I think perhaps the way it's been done is rude, I think if your cousin had come to you and said 'listen space is tight and the budget is tight and I'm really sorry but I can't make room for your other half, but don't worry you'll not be alone i'll make sure you're seated with xyz'.

To be fair I literally am that cousin who's not inviting my cousin's partners to my wedding, one has been with her fella a year, just, and is getting married in June but her sister has a boyfriend who i've never met so I just explained that they'll be each others plus ones to make it fair due to how small my wedding is.

I haven't invited my cousin's girlfriends to my wedding, mainly because there was space for 95 guests and we were full up. Literally no more room at the inn so to speak. My grandma kicked up a huge fuss, in perspective one of the girlfriends I actually didn't even know about, they've been together less than a year and in that time we've never met. The other girlfriend was hidden from all of us for quite some time, they've been together a while but I don't know her all that well. Of course once the seated part is over, they are both more than welcome to join us for the reception at 5pm, which is what I've told everyone. I think I've been fair, I've tried to be anyway, if either were fiance's though I would probably have tried to fit them in if I'd known about the engagement.

I think as your cousin has never met your fiance (and you've been together 4 years!) it's understandable that they would drop him off if there's pressure on numbers.

It's worth checking though. There must be a relative you can ask discreetly. It would be awful if she intended for you to bring him and you turned up alone!

This has just recently happened to me. My Fiancé’s sister has invited him to her wedding but not me. We’ve been together for 11 years, and she’s my childrens’ aunt and godmother. To make it worse her wedding is abroad and she expected him to travel alone.

I was totally furious and it was probably a good thing that I didn’t speak to her about it. My fiancé declined her invitation without reason, so a week later she called and said she’d been over the numbers and I could come if I wanted to.

We’re still not going, and if it were up to me she would be struck off our guest list.

I feel the way she has behaved is the height of bad manners.

Thanks for all your answers, it's helped me feel a lot better about the whole thing at least, and think more clearly about it!

In the end I just casually spoke to my aunt (not my cousin's mum) about it, and said I wasn't sure if I was allowed to bring my fiancé, as, to be honest I was starting to doubt whether or not they knew I was engaged!! (Even though I've told most of the family, and put it on Facebook, since I haven't seen this cousin since I got engaged it is actually possible that the information could have passed her by). So my aunt said I should speak to my cousin about it, so I texted my cousin and she said they were really pushed for space as they're having a tiny wedding but she doesn't mind if he comes to the evening do. Which I suppose is reasonable although I don't think I will bring him to the evening do if I do go though, because the wedding is about 250 miles away so it'd feel really wrong to drag my fiancé 250 miles, then leave him in a hotel all day on his own in a place where he doesn't know anyone while I'm off having fun with the rest of the family, then have him turn up on his own to face a bunch of drunk people. To be honest though, if it is a small wedding then I'd feel just as awkward bringing him when he's never met the bride or groom. Anyway, I'm really glad I've cleared that up.

I'm really glad that you got sorted although it's not the desired outcome. I think space is premium and it is very expensive. You've been very gracious about it all.