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Beginner December 2023 East London

Fiancé stag do

Sophie, 28 January, 2023 at 19:52 Posted on Beauty & Wellbeing 0 3
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Hi all

I am getting married in December and my fiancés friends are starting to plan his stag weekend for this summer.

It will likely be a weekend away somewhere with all of his friends plus his “brother in laws” on his side (sisters partners). He hasn’t mentioned inviting my brother which I half expected.

By background, they get along but aren’t close at all and rarely see eachother as we live in different cities. My brother is pretty anxious and shy and also struggles with his confidence and usually has to have a good drink to come out of his shell. Therefore I don’t know if he would want to go anyway, especially as he wouldn’t know anyone but I also don’t want his feelings hurt as the other brother in laws are invited. I’m torn as I know my fiancé may feel like he has to look after him all weekend and as I said they aren’t close.

Also, to add that my fiancé will also probably do a “home” stag with friends plus family such as his stepdad, and my dad, so my brother would of course be invited to this one (and more likely to go as he will have my dad there).

I am inviting fiancé sister and brother (gay) as we are quite close and I see them often and they are part of my bridal party.

I guess I just keep comparing and of course love and care about my brother and don’t want him hurt. I haven’t mentioned any of the above to my fiancé yet as I don’t want to put him in an awkward position or make him feel guilty - and as I said he would be invited to the “home” stag night with dads.


Should I ask my brother first if he would even want to go to the weekend away before mentioning it to fiancé?


Thanks


3 replies

Latest activity by Kirsty, 31 January, 2023 at 11:13
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    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Honestly, I think this is your fiance's call. Stag do - as with hen dos and wedding party members - should be closest people not obligation invites.

    I'm close with my brother, so he's in my wedding party. FH is not particularly close to his sister, so she's not in his wedding party and I felt weird including her in mine because I feel like I barely know her - and my brother's on my side not FH's because he's my close person. It sometimes feels a little bit awkward having one sibling involved and one sibling not, but we have very different relationships and that's okay.

    Is your brother in the wedding party? If so, and he was asked to be a groomsmen by your FH, I can see where a stag invite might feel expected. If he's on your side, why not invite your brother to be part of your hen do if he's not already? Of course, you could invite him to your hen even if he's not in the wedding party and you'd like him to be there!

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  • S
    Beginner December 2023 East London
    Sophie ·
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    Thanks Chloe! I think I am just overthinking it.


    He isn’t part of the groomsmen but we are going to ask him to be our witness so he will be involved. I think my brother would rather jump off a cliff than come to my hen 😂 haha but I love that yours is going to your hen.
    He will be invited to the home stag with our dad and other family members
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  • K
    Dedicated June 2023 Essex
    Kirsty ·
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    I agree with Chloe. It should be your FH's call. If he invited your brother as an obligation it could make the weekend very awkward for both of them.

    I don't have any siblings to this situation is easier for me, but in a similar situation my MoH is like my sister and her fiancé is going to my FH stag, but only because we all hang out so often they have become friends too and my FH wanted to invite him.

    On the other hand I have not invited my FH's brothers partner to my hen, either the family one or my main one. We don't see them that often and I am not close with her. It would be awkward for us both if I invited her.

    I think its nice your brother will get to go to the family one, he is still included then and with other family there, he will probably feel more comfortable.

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