Fiance won’t like my dress

I'm so sorry - I didn't realise your deposit was £1,000 - that's a lot of money to lose! How much is the total dress cost?

You've got two options - either stick with your dress and focus on the bits you like about it (I think you mentioned in a previous post that you were going to ask a seamstress about possible changes to make it more 'you'), or accept the loss of the deposit and buy elsewhere.

Here's what I would do.

1) See if you can get a rough idea of how much alteration can be done to your current dress and what the approximate cost will be - if you contact a local dress alteration person and explain your dilemma, they might be able to give a rough idea based on photos - e.g. yes, we can alter the neckline and remove the sequins but it will cost XXX or no, it's not really feasible to alter the neckline on that style of dress. Do this before Saturday if you can, because having a rough idea of possibilities and costs involved will help inform your decision making when you try the dress on again.

2) Check out the other dresses by that designer online. Do you like any of them? If you can find out costs - how do they compare with the price of your current dress? If the only ones you like are £1,000 over your budget, then you might as well lose your deposit and shop somewhere else for a new dress!

3) Have a look for dresses in the plainer style that you like - especially lower cost ones. For example, if your current dress is £1,800 and it's going to cost £500 to alter it to make you feel happy, you could buy a dress that needs no alteration for £1,300 elsewhere, lose your deposit and still not be any worse off!

4) Having done this, you will be going into your appointment on Saturday with a much better idea of your options. I'd definitely advise going on your own. Think about how you feel in the dress without family and friends 'ah-ing' or getting teary? Do you feel that making alterations will make you feel ok about it? Will you be better off financially sticking with this dress plus alterations costs or going for one that needs less alteration?

You might find it helpful to write down your options beforehand and list any questions or things to consider under each one. Especially make a note of the maximum costs involved. E.g. "If altering my existing dress costs more than £XXX, then I am better off buying elsewhere." "If buying a new dress from the same designer costs more than £XXXX, then I am better off buying elsewhere. If you go in with a load of information and a written 'action plan', I think it will help you stay calm and think through your options and come to the right decision. Don't let yourself get pressured by the sales person. If she pushes you for a decision, just say that you want to make 100% sure before changing your mind again, so you'll go home, think about it and let her know by x time. That also gives you an 'out' if you don't want to go ahead, but don't like to say so!

Hope your appointment today goes well and you're able to find a solution that works for you x

That's great news - I'm so pleased for you.

You never know - I had a long-sleeved dress in July because it was the only one I could get hold of in time, and it was cold and rainy on our wedding day, so I was quite glad for the warmth!