Fifty shades of grey

Ah, now this is interesting. I have 2 daughters, 22 and 24 both have read the books and youngest has now seen the movie. I had youngest on skype and eldest on the phone, youngest stated that the book, at points, was tantamount to rape and was an abusive relationship (again, at points) eldest then stated that it wasn't like that at all and the woman was in control at all times, he had an abusive childhood and that she took advantage of him because of that.

I've not read the books so I can't comment on either opinions but could these books be interpreted how you wanted to? Both daughters have had the same upbringing, both are aware of abuse because of our collective careers.

By the way youngest said that the film interpretation of the book isn't great and at one point couldn't stop laughing 'because everyone plays the piano after sex,right?'

Getting frustrated, lots of people saying it but I can't find a direct quote. Agree though, that's the whole point of a safe word!

I think the issue is that it's assumed that people who have a problem with 50 Shades of Grey have a problem with the sex - I don't think the sex is even the issue (generally anyway, it seems to be mostly consensual with elements of sexual coercion and at least one example of rape/sexual assault, but anyway...). My issue is mainly with the relationship outside of the bedroom - the stalking, the possessiveness, the isolating her, the blowing hot and cold, the manipulation. And it's portrayed as an exciting, glamorous relationship where they end up together and live happily ever after. Which is bollocks - by the end of the series he hasn't changed a bit, he's still being a twat to her simply for falling pregnant. As you say, that is real life for some people, and it's f*cked up in my opinion that it's being glamourised.

Spot on. I feel exactly the same. I think it's absolutely unacceptable that any woman would think that this kind of relationship is healthy.

I agree. When I read the books I almost felt like it was pitched that this type of behaviour was acceptable because he was wealthy.

Peanut, absolutely.

What really p!sses me off, though, is the number of comments I've seen on various media websites and social media that the women who raise this issue are ugly or jealous because they aren't getting any. Their (subjective) attractiveness and sexual history has nothing to do with it, not to mention bringing that sort of stuff into this sort of debate is just so, so wrong on so many levels! What really saddens me is the comments have mostly come from women. I've had to delete a few of my friends from FB because their response to people disliking the fact that they're seeing the movie has been "haters gonna hate" (mind you, I despise that phrase anyway) - and this is girls in their late 20s and early 30s, right up to women who are 50+!

My understanding is that it's towards the end of the book, when he "really" hurts her for the first time, and she's crying so hard she can't say the safe word. In that scenario, a dom would normally check whether the sub is ok rather than continuing - at least the first few times they go that far. So, it's not so much ignoring the safe word, but it's as good as.

Yep, going to add my agreement to this.

Madamred, I haven't seen any of that but how ridiculous. I don't see how stalking, manipulation etc can be waved away as ugly women getting pissy about not getting any!