First dance what else?

Can you maybe have a family dance? the DJ could call both families to the dance floor for the first family dance, ad then you can all dance to something that symbolises joining of families. You don't have to have a first dance at all, but I see what he is saying, but really, he should be able to get people on the dance floor if he is a good DJ

View quoted message Thank you that might be the way forward xx

You 'have' to have a first dance? That's total rubbish!

I'd suggest getting the whole bridal party to do a first dance - that way, there will be enough people on the floor for you not to be the centre of attention. And let's face it, unless the couple are dance enthusiasts and choreograph something special because it's their thing, the first dance is pretty boring to watch anyway!

My friend got really anxious when doing the first dance so for the first few moments (for pictures) they danced then they waved everyone over. Maybe just before you could ask your bridesmaids, groomsmen and parents ect to join in pretty much straight away so you still have the "first dance moment" but don't have all the people focused on you!

Another potential (that we’re considering) is for you and your new husband to sway gently to something for 30 seconds and then have your family/bridesmaids/groomsmen/pre warned people all join in. But I do agree with those above - you don’t have to have a first dance that is just the two of you and there is nothing wrong with a massive group first dance - maybe just make sure you’ve lined up people first so they know to join you.

View quoted message Thanks everyone all that could be an option do a little bit then others join in but even thats scary, so maybe a group dance would work, think when it comes to it it won't be so scary but the thought makes me stressed. One of my friends suggested play Mr and Mrs..but im annoyed the DJ was saying we have to.

View quoted message If you really don’t want to, you don’t have to - it is your wedding! I get why the DJ might suggest a first dance of some form - it is in their interest to have people on the dance floor but I don’t see why that first dance can’t look however you want it to (ie it can include more people than the two of you!).

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For making me feel better x

View quoted message No worries - happy to help - as if wedding planning isn’t stressful enough! I thought making the decisions/organising would be the challenge but apparently it’s dealing with all the people who think they know better (which isn’t just mothers!!) x

Hi Charlotte, my partner & I were exactly the same - we'd said we weren't going to do a first dance as we truly hate the attention and there were already too many things we had to do (genuinely had to, like say vows etc - nobody 'has' to have a first dance no matter what your DJ says!). I asked my grandparents to have the first dance as they've been through a rough couple of years with my granddad having a stroke and having to re-learn to walk, my partner then decided he'd see how he felt on the day and we did decide to dance at the same time as them - and just told immediate family to come up after a minute! It worked really well and having others up there (no matter who) really does make you feel like the focus isn't on you. Best of luck

I went to a wedding last weekend where the Grooms invited everyone to join in their first dance straight away. Excellent idea and gets everyone up and involved. I’m going to pinch this idea for my wedding x

As has been mentioned maybe 60 seconds "grab and sway" and then instruct the DJ to announce and invite others to join you. This is the most common way that I see it being handled.

Also what most people do is arrange for the cake to be cut on or near the dance floor and gather people for that and they are then there ready for the dance floor.

But if you don't want one then don't have one, many cases I have seen the Aunties STRAIGHT on the dance floor as soon as the DJ is set up and they have to be "removed" so a first dance can be done, so just let that carry on.

Thank you all, some really good suggestions there, we are having a wedding venue timeline meeting Sunday so will have a chat about these options with my partner at the weekend. Thank you all so much ❤🤗

It's your big day so you absolutely don't HAVE to do anything you don't want. If you have some friends or family who love to get on the dancefloor right away, perhaps you could agree a 'first song' with your DJ but something quite upbeat and ask your dance loving friends/family to head straight onto the dancefloor and get the party going!

Seriously, if you are feeling stressed about doing a first dance, please don't do it! I had a friend who couldn't enjoy a minute of her wedding reception because she was dreading her first dance so much - she hadn't wanted to do it, but had been told she 'had' to have one. No one's life would have been ruined if they'd missed seeing her and her new husband shuffling round together for 60 seconds, and it made me so cross that her wedding day got spoiled just for that. So if it's worrying you, just tell the DJ flat that there will be NO first dance with just the two of you.

View quoted message Thank you your poor friend having that experience and think I would feel the same, thank you x