Hi hitchers,
So I decided a couple of months ago to face my fears and book my first ever bikini wax. I'd never tried it before, imagining pain and utter embarrasment and shame, and thought I would bite the bullet seeing as I'm a grown up now what with getting married and all and wanted to do something nice for wedding/honeymoon for OH.
I posted about my phobia and recent wax experiences on a bridal facebook group and it seems I am not alone in my fear of the wax - so I thought I would share my 'reports' with you hitchers too as they were well received.
if it helps just one hitcher overcome their fear like I did it was worth it 
***Warning - crude, honest and quite honestly graphic at times***
Feb 2014 -
So I'm home! No streaky make up from crying and honestly no tenderness to report.
I'll start from the begininng - including my tips for beginners who get inspired by this thread!
So I am booked in for a half leg wax (to ease me in) and a HOT high bikini line (about one inch in on both sides and an inch off the top)
Just as I am about to leave my home, I curse myself for nearly forgetting to take some painkillers first. I pop two cocodamol (codeine and paracetemol, I take them for migraines so figure they are a bit more hard core than your average paracetemol) and then I take on ibuprofen for luck. I panic I may just suffer an overdose in the car or at the beauty salon, but fear not... they did me proud
I sat down for a nice cup of tea just before leaving and in the chaos of finding some tablets I somehow forget to brush my teeth before leaving. I realise in the car half eay to town and hate myself for it. Tip #1 Brush your teeth, you are going to feel self concious enough without worrying about bad breath!!!
Another dilemma before leaving the house.. what to wear?? I read loose and comfy, so I find my biggest pair of bell bottom jeans (havent worn in years since skinny jeans came in) and they fit the bill - comfy and also at least one size too big (yay! the diet is working!!) I go for ordinary cotton knickers and pack a spare pair just incase I sh** myself! haha, not really - I read somewhere to take a clean pair (Tip #2 Google is your preparation friend)
I can't face breakfast through worry which I hate myself for later when I'm lying on the bed and my tummy is rumbling like mad... Tip #3 have something to eat!
The one last thing I worry about before the appointment - is my fairy too hairy for a wax? I've been letting it grow for 3+ weeks and it looks plain awful, and I'm sure I've spotted a couple of greys too which is freaking me out too much to really check... I read that it should be 1/4 of an inch, or the size of a grain of rice. After attempting to measure curly pubic hair with a ruler, and not being able to find out if it is a cooked or uncooked piece of rice they are referring to, I give up and find solace in reading they can trim it for you if it is too long. Tip # 4 Just let it grow for 3-4 weeks, rather it be too long that too short! Mine didnt need any trimming at all in the end.
So I arrive at the salon, and the lady I have been emailing greets me and puts me at ease. I watch beautiful preened people walking around, both staff and customers, and feel I am definitely at the right place, although I don't fit in.
After signing my life away on two forms - we are ready!
I meet Lauren, my waxer. She is so pretty, and quite young too, but super friendly and I instantly like and trust her.
She takes me to the little room, and asks me to strip from the waist down once she is out of the room and put on the disposable knickers (which are comfier than i thought) and cover myself with a towel and lay face down, ready for legs first.
The leg wax is a strip wax, and after the first one, I forget she she is even doing it. The leg wax was honestly so easy it is not worth writing about. But they feel lovely and smooth again now! I've always had super fine leg hair though so unless it grows back really different, I'll probably stick with my veet cream I usually use or maybe even home wax strips. £17 is too much money to wax my legs!
However, the v-jayay, that needs a professional. So, she asks me to hold my knickers up (like an 80s thong) and smears the hot wax on... the hot wax feels lovely. After a few minutes to allow it to set, we are ready for the first 'strip'. The relief once it is off that the pain was so not as bad as i thought was amazing. As she keeps pullinng of the strips, I feel so happy that this isnt the sort of pain I was anticipating. It's not a red raw tender pain that I was expecting, it was more of a oooch wince, over in milliseconds.
She does both sides then says we'll do the top, she asks how much I want off. I say 'as much as I'm allowed for a high bikini' basically take as much as you can off without charging me extra. Never did I think I would be asking for more! There were around 7-9 strips in total, half of what a brazilian would be apparently.
The conversation was light, casual - celebrity big brother, my engagement and wedding, her relationship (she was 23 by the way) a few times I was laughing out loud whilst she was waxing - I felt very at ease!
And then she uses the strip wax just to get rid of the last remaiming fine hairs, which I didnt even feel.
And then we were done!
She leaves the room and gives me some tea tree oil and a minty smelling lotion to apply, I worry it might sting but no, felt nice. I look down and the skin is red, almost like sunburn in the places it has been waxed, but strangely there is no painful sensation, no uncomfortable feeling.
I get dressed and am relieved how easy it is to walk, I imagined hobbling in pain and chaffing. Nope, just normal everyday walking.
Driving home I can't believe how not sore everything is, and when I get home I check the hairs out. It feels baby soft smooth and lovely, although still red, I honestly cannot feel a thing.
I'm booking myself in for a brazilian next time, in approx 4-5 weeks and although I know it will be slightly more uncomfortable, I now know it is really not what I was expecting at all.
It is fine! So ease yourself in ladies, go for a high bikini first, make sure you go 'hot' wax and once you've overcome that, the next appointment should be far less stressful, just a little longer.
Yay - I am so happy I have done it and looking forward to the results of the next one already
March 2014 -
Ok, so no nerves today, which was great.
Got to the little beauty room, and today it is Katie carrying out my first ever brazilian.
She is a clone of Lauren from last time, beautiful, young and preened to perfection. They even sound the same.. clearly they have all been well trained in being friendly, proffesional and knowing how to put people at ease.
Last time Lauren left me to change, put on mesh knickers and prepare myself on the chair.
Not today, Katie is a no bullshit kinda girl.
"So our service includes waxing the crack of your behind, it is your choice if you'd like that today or not?"
She offers it like she is asking me if I'd like my coffee with or without milk.
I manage to say "take it all off", surprising even myself. A deep breathe. Katie stays in the room and sorts the wax, asking me to undress from the waist down then get myself on all fours on the chair with my bare bumhole (my words not hers) pointing up and out.
Another deep breathe. Screw it ....just do it.
Katie applies hot wax to my crack (sorry the is no polite way of explaining this) whilst talking to me about my dress fitting later, and our honeymoon plans. She doesnt seem remotely flustered at the fact she is applying hot wax to a strangers bumhole. She seems like bumholes are her everyday bread and butter.
I almost relax.
The wax goes hard and she tells me she is going to lift the wax and pull it off. I brace myself. She whips it off. Easy, like a plaster. I start to relax.
She asks me to turn over. Suddenly her examining my fanjita with a fine toothed comb (using the expression, no comb actually involved) seeems mediocre in comparison to the previous bumhole moment we shared.
She comments "wow you have hardly any hair, it is so fine, this will be over in no time!"
I tell her I thought I had a proper fro' after five weeks of growth, like Holly Willoughby in her jackson 5 skit on Celeb Juice.
She says "no it's so fine I could easily do it one go if you were having a hollywood"
I like Katie. She thinks I've got a non-hairy thin fro'.
She applies the wax to the entire left side, flaps and all, and allows it to dry. Here we go she says.....
When she pulls it off in three motions, I'm not gonna lie, I wince. 'ooooch' But as soon as it is off, the pain disappears. She does the same on the other side and I think the wincing is actually a pretty good ab exercise as it makes me crunch while she pulls.
Two strips down, she says she will go back over to pick up any leftover hairs and I'm done!
The other two are much easier, catching the strays, and then she uses tweezers to pick out the odd remaining hair.
I'm laying there thinking, that was easy!
Hurts for a split second, but I only had five waxes, last time I had 8 for a high leg! She said Lauren was probably being kind on my first one... but I prefer quick and over as soon as possible!!! The less rips the better!!
15 mins later I stroll out like a grown up. Not even had my cornflakes and faced a brazilian.
Back home and it is not tender at all, even less red than last time and baby soft smooth.
I love the results so much - I'm officialy a convert. Hollywood for me next time
So if like me you have been to scared to try, I say give it a go! Whatever you imagine.... it is nothing like what you are expecting i promise!!
Got say a shout out to Moors beauty in Colchester, highly recommended.
Any extra tips??
#shower before you go to feel nice and clean
# take a bit of change to tip afterwards
# book an early morning appointment so you're not waiting around
# my 2 cocodamol 1 ibuprofen tricks seems to work nicely
Any questions ask away I will give you the honest truth!
