Flippin' amazing hen weekend! *flash*

This all sounds amazing!! Glad you had such a fantastic time; you can't leave us hanging though....?

Hahaha, I love the pic of four of you dressed up.

Sounds like a really fun weekend, accomodation looks brilliant too ?

We bundled into the minibus and had a beautiful drive around the South coast of the island, past Compton Bay and Freshwater. The weather was beautiful and views were breathtaking. We were dropped off at some random visitor centre place where I'd never been before. Mum handed out the treasure hunt clues; it was based around the (truly Blyton) scenario that Uncle Quentin had been kidnapped by smugglers and was being held captive somewhere on the Island! We had to solve the clues, rearrange the initial letters and we would find out where he was. We walked along the coastal path towards Yarmouth, gathering clues as we went. There were some slightly surreal detours on the way...:

It turned out that 'Uncle Quentin' was in the Pier Hut at the end of Yarmouth Pier- so we legged it (ie. ambled slowly- if it really were a matter of life and death he would've been toast) and found a picture of Quentin Tarantino with a photoshopped beard and a bottle of champagne! Excellent.

We mooched around Yarmouth for a bit and then it was picnic time! Off to Arreton Downs. Once again, my mum did herself proud with the picnic; lashings of ginger beer, sarnies, pork pies, sausage rolls, homemade quiches, Garlic Farm pork scratchings...by this point the sun was blazing and we could see right across the Island from the top of the hill. Back into the bus and off for our next adventure- a Steam Train ride!

We had a private carriage reserved, so we boarded and broke out the scones, jam, clotted cream and MORE Crabbies...couple of people fell asleep at this point (that's what food / booze / sun will do to you), until we unexpectedly went through a tunnel and a couple of people screamed which woke everyone up. I remember things getting a little weird at this point, having a very heated discussion with one of my friends who had never seen Fraggle Rock before and trying to explain to her what it was about.

A couple of people had mentioned that they wanted to visit some of the little touristy shops, etc. on the Island so we got back on the bus and headed to Arreton Barns, which has an (amazing) farm shop and a weird kinda curio place which is full of vintage 50's / 60's arcade machines. I had my 'fortune' told, had a go on the Love Tester (I think it was broken) and played a rather disturbing game called '*** Shooter'.

For the evening, we headed over to the Spyglass Inn in Ventnor, which is a bit of an Island institution and occasional watering hole of Robert Pattinson. Alas, he was not present. But there was the promise of live music and some decent grub. We nailed it. We got a beaut of a table right by the water. The only down side is that my friend J is terrified of birds, and there were some rather surly seagulls / magpies lurking nearby looking for errant chips.

The sun was still out, but rapidly disappearing behind the pub, so we headed inside for food before it got chilly. I had a seafood platter. And chips. I didn't need the chips- it was HUGE. My mum said it looked like I was eating "half the f**king Sealife Centre". We had completely forgotten that we were dressed a little oddly by this point but- to be fair- most of the Isle of Wight is stuck in the 1950s so we kind of blended in. The evening was a bit of a blur. We all had a bit to drink (standard). There was a live accordion player but, rather than the beardy, rugged, Captain Birdseye-esque sea shanty singer I was expecting, it was a bit more Parisien Café. Oh well. A good night was had by all! We all bundled back into the bus- tipsy, tired and STUFFED. Back at the accommodation, the plan was to have a bit of a house party but we'd had such a busy day everyone was just knackered. I had some very unexpected and gratefully received gifts (no dildos / plastic penii thank Christ- but a couple of bits which had blatantly been hastily purchased in Waitrose, which explains the lengthy trip on the previous day...this is what I love about my friends- they're as much of a forgetful shambles as I am!) and we had a bit of a strange pirate tea-party moment:

I was a bit worried that everyone was heading to bed because they were bored and I did have a bit of a wobbly (in private) on the Saturday night, thinking that people weren't having fun and it was all a bit square...being in bed by half midnight on the Saturday of your hen weekend? Meh. Sent OH a wobbly text and went to bed.

Sunday morning was our final activity- all aboard the fun bus for some.....POTTERY! (I know, right? Doesn't get much more rock n' roll):

The girls all chipped in and bought me a massive salad / serving bowl which they all painted as a memento of the weekend. I painted a mug for OH which I'm going to give him on the morning of the wedding; it's got a picture of him marrying a dinosaur (a triceratops wearing a tiara) on one side and the words "It's not too late to run (it is.)" painted on the other side with a picture of an escape car (usefully labelled) and a massive ***. And a football. As you do. I had to ask the lady if it was OK to paint the massive *** on it because, y'know, it's a family establishment, but she said it was fine and she'd hide it at the back until we collected it. It's actually a lot more artistic than it sounds. My mum told me off a bit but I said that she wouldn't be telling me off if I was Grayson Perry and that shut her up.

Afterwards, we had a private area reserved in the café where we had tea and (more) cake. I hadn't said a word about how I felt the night before but...we were in the gift shop and my friend P (who was buying a bag of marbles, of course) said that she has a lot of friends up in London who are pretty well off, and it was really important to them to spend stacks of cash on going to posh restaurants, 5* hotels and spa breaks and fancy nightclubs for their hens, but that mine was- far and away- the BEST one she had ever been on. Over the course of the day, everyone at one point or another came up to me and said that they'd had the best weekend ever! I know it's not a contest- and they would probably just say that anyway- but it really put my mind at ease and I was genuinely so happy that everyone had such a great time. In a way, it was good that we didn't get too hammered because it meant that we didn't lose half a day hanging out our arses and we could get on and enjoy the beautiful wall to wall sunshine.

That was pretty much it! We all headed back to the ferry terminal laden with foody goodies and went our separate ways with the promise of a meet up soon- NOT after several years this time. I left with that warm, glowy feeling you only get when you've had a beautiful time with those friends who are the very closest to you. I've still got a buzz now- feel very chilled and contented.

I have to give a big shout to my legend of a mother for booking everything, sorting us out with food / booze at the accommodation, 'organising' us all weekend- we NEEDED organising; it was like herding cats- getting the outrageous cupcakes, putting up with all our swearing and divulging her weird man preferences during a particularly disturbing round of 'shag, marry, avoid' I think I'd rather forget...big bunch of flowers coming her way, methinks.

NEXT STOP: THE WEDDING!!!! ?

Can I just say that sounds like one of the most original and well thought out hen weekends I have ever read about. Pretty perfect if you ask me

Amazing and my first chuckle of the day! An excellent hen weekend, I hope mine is half as good.

I am rather jealous! Sounds like an amazing weekend ?

Looks like you all had a great time! ? Looks super fun, and I was sold with the private carriage and scones with clotted cream lol! ?

If that's the hen weekend report, can't wait to read your wedding report when the time comes. It all looks amazing!

Exactly this! Fantastic Skeppers!

*blush* ?

Thank you. All credit goes to my mum, I think!

Don't hold your breath for the wedding report...I don't think it's going to be as good as this!

This sounds INCREDIBLE! So glad you enjoyed it. All the pictures are fab and those cupcakes look like little pieces of art! (A bit disapointed you didn't flash the mug! ?)

Wow what an amazing hen do!

You lucky thing. Shows that you don't have to go out and just get hammered x

Well....ahem....we were planning on GETTING hammered, but we were all just so knackered from being out and about all day it never really happened! ?

Looks amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were so lucky with the wedding and sounds like you have a fab group of friends! Can't wait for the wedding report now!

Sounds like and looks like you had a blast!!!

And your report is amazing!!

Abso-Funkin-Lutely brilliant Skeppers !!!! nNd oh my goodness... like we weren't excited enough about your wedding already, now you've given us a Hen report like that I think I may well just pee my pants in anticipation of the nuptials !!!!

Oh, and congratulations yourself, Mrs Married-pants! ?

Cheers Mrs Nearly There Now !!

Just waiting on the TOG pics before I do my report..... xx

Great report, sounds like a fab weekend!

Amazing report & excellent hen party! Loving the outfits!

Looks and sounds like you had a fantastic time!

Envious! It looks like you had a great time

This sounds incredible!!! Glad you had a lovely time!