Flowers for mothers

It's fairly standard to give gifts to the couple's mothers (and sometimes fathers too) during the speeches. While you don't have to do it, it would be rude to give a gift to one mother but not to the others. It doesn't have to be a 'thank you for helping plan the wedding' gift - it can simply be an acknowledgement of all your parents have done for you and to mark the fact that your wedding day is an important one for your parents as well as for you.

If you don't want to treat MIL and step-MIL the same as your mother, then I would making any 'thank you gifts' private and personal - you can always acknowledge the help that has been given in a speech, along the lines of "thank you to my mother for all her help with the wedding planning and to all our parents and parents-in-law for being here for us today'.

If mother is adamant that she has a bouquet handed over during a speech, then you really need to do something for the other side of the family as well. I would suggest doing the same kind of generic-thanks-to-all-with-special-mention-of-mum line and for you to hand your bouquet to your mother while your now-husband hands over gifts to his mother and step-mother - you could either do gift-cards, or to make the gifts look more 'equal', buy something small to pop in a gift bag, which is easy to carry on a train. If your mum is on the top table and revelling in the attention, then people are going to be watching your mother/daughter moment, so won't be paying much attention to what your OH is doing.

View quoted message

The article seems to be referring to flowers that are worn or carried during the ceremony. I think the OP was about bouquets or gifts that are presented during the reception as part of the 'thank you' speeches. I don't think that is an American tradition, as I've been to very few British weddings where the mothers don't get given a bouquet or other gift during the speeches.

Hello! I’m from the UK and every wedding I have been too the mothers and Nanas always get given flowers! However, to the best of my knowledge, they were heavily involved and the Nanas were just because they were your Nana! We are given it to our Mums but as you have said, our Mums have been a huge part of the planning process! I don’t think it’s a you have to do it but I thought it was funny I saw this as we were talking about it recently!

It is not an American import and it is not a tradition but more like the convention but as with everything weddings you do what is right for you. Maybe have an honest chat with Mum and say if you did it for her then you would have to do it for the others which is something you do not want to perticually do