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Beginner June 2017

Flowers for mum of bride/groom

Julie48, 8 February, 2016 at 11:18 Posted on Planning 0 9

Hi Girls

Firstly please don't judge me as being ungrateful. OH and I are paying for our own wedding, its going to be a very small informal one with only about 30 guests.

My concern is do we have to buy flowers for my mum and OH mum? Are you buying flowers? It just seems that we're doing it because we're expected to if that makes sense?

Again please don't think I'm being ungrateful as I'm not and I love them both very dearly.

Jx

9 replies

Latest activity by Ali, 2 April, 2025 at 08:43
  • R
    Beginner January 1999
    RomanticPinkStationery290 ·
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    I think if they have supported your plans and helped you it would be nice to gift them. However of course you don't have to! Another idea is look on pin interest where they do sweet little thank you ideas that cost nothing x

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  • KinkyBride
    Beginner March 2016
    KinkyBride ·
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    We're having a small wedding (21 people) that we're payig for ourselves too. Both parents have contributed to things though.

    We are having mirrored square vases filled with articicial roses for our table centres and each Mother/set of parents will be given one of those.

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  • J
    Beginner June 2017
    Julie48 ·
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    Thanks girls for your replies.

    We are not having a sit down meal as such, we're having cream tea in the garden/courtyard of our venue. I do like the idea of giving the mums the table flowers as they would both love that.

    I'm now looking on pinterest - getting loads of ideas Smiley smile

    Thanks again girls

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  • TrixieSaurus
    Beginner August 2016
    TrixieSaurus ·
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    Firstly, I don't think you're being ungrateful at all Smiley smile

    We were also undecided on this, as we're paying for the entire wedding ourselves... I also don't like the whole gift giving in front of everyone and really wonder where it should stop - who helped out the most/enough to receive a gift. My sister didn't give any gifts to anyone at all at her wedding (other than favours, and us bridesmaids getting to keep the accessories and dresses) and to be honest we didn't even notice until we went to another wedding where gifts were being presented in front of everyone and then wondered if we were 'expected' to do the same.

    We've decided that if we are going to get tokens for anyone who's helped us (such as my friend who is designing invites and another who will be helping make flowers) we will probably give them before/after the wedding day.

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  • S
    Beginner September 2017
    Sorbet ·
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    It depends on a few things:

    1. did they help financal

    2. did the help physically

    3. did they help emotionally

    4. do you have a good relationship and want to include them

    if any is yes then you probably should get them something, it dosent need to be flowers though or expensive - something they can keep might be more appreciated

    if they have cause drama, not been involved, not helped then no, traditionally gift where to thank parents for paying

    but be careful if one helped and one didn't, it could be very rude and hurtful to give just one side gifts and thats not a good way to start a marraige so either do it for both or do it quietly for one so the others dont know

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  • M
    Beginner March 2016
    MrsMtobe2016 ·
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    I'm with you on this.
    My OH and I are paying and doing everything our self.
    We have good relationships with both sets of parents but neither are in a position to help us financially and we've not needed any other type of support with the wedding planning.
    We have however, decided to give Mums a bouquet of flowers and dads the same gift as groomsmen. More to make them feel a little bit involved. We've not spent much but it's the thought that counts.

    xx

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  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    I think having two identical table arrangements whether it's flowers or a plant in a pot dressed up solves your problem. It dresses up the table and provides a gift for parents without breaking the bank. You could even stick little notes in both saying thank you for all the love, encuragement and support they have always shown you.

    We decided to elope in Lapland with no family. We gave them wine and mini cake to join us for a toast on the day and after we returned I did them £10.00 photo books. So that's a cheap option if you want Something else later or a photo frame for their favourite wedding PIC.

    None of those break the bank and they will be chuffed t receive it and think they were supportive (even if they didn't in my case lol. Well one did!)

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  • Mrsjones2024
    Rockstar June 2024 Essex
    Mrsjones2024 ·
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    I'm not doing thank you bouquets as, say if I spent £40 on a bouquet of flowers, I would rather get our mums something they can use or keep with that money. So, jewellery or perfume or a massage etc. Flowers are lovely but they will be dead within a week. We have quite a few people helping out, one of my bridesmaids is making my favours, his aunt and uncle are making our post box, table plan and a fruit cake etc all of our parents are helping us with financial contributions ( we are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves) so I think we will verbally thank them in the speeches but give them their presents the night before the wedding (likewise for the other bridesmaids, ushers, best man etc) otherwise it could be going on for some time! X

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  • A
    Beginner October 2025 Merseyside
    Anna ·
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    Please can you help me, I am getting married in September it is a big wedding with 120 guests. My mum who is quite well off but worked all her life for what she has is paying for majority of the wedding and has been so helpful and generous, yet left us to it. We are giving a substancial amount towards the wedding too, I am very close with my mum as my dad passed away 8 years ago, me and my fiancee spend alot of time with my side of the family which i know my MIL resents. She doesnt make that much effort yet loves to cause issues, can be very difficult in their side of the family she falls out with them alot. She has made no offer of donation to the wedding and doesnt expect to put a penny in as she blatenly sees my family as well off. She has tried to invite all her families partners to the evening do even though we havent met most of them nor should we have to as we are on a tight budget and have politely reminded her of there being no extra invites yet she still continues. Shes argued with us about that and hasnt been much help atall.

    On my wedding day I would like to present my mum with a massive bouquet of flowers to say thank you for everything, yet I do not feel like I deserve to give my MIL anything. Is this acceptable please let me know?

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  • Ali
    Dedicated January 2025 Pakistan
    Ali ·
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