Formal giving away

Traditionally the brides father "gives her" to the groom. The vicar/priest would ask "Who giveth this woman" and the father would hand her hand to the priest and say "I do". It stems back to the days when women were treated more as possessions.

Nowadays it works slightly differently, especially in civil ceremonies and it's no longer a set action hence you being asked. If you want to be given away then you can and it can be anybody that does it, for example, my son is giving me away. Some have their mum or a grandparent - just whoever is important to them. The registrar will ask a similar question and whoever is giving you away will pass your hand to the registrar for them to give it to your husband to be. For many there is something very significant in the action, not in you being a piece of property way, but about accepting that your new husband is the main man in your life and that he takes the responsibility that goes with that.

Some people really don't like the tradition at all and prefer not to do anything, but it's up to you.

ETA - sorry meant to say - the person who gives you away is usually the person you walk down the aisle with.

hth

x

I don't know about church weddings, but for civil ceremonies you can choose either to be 'given away' (the Registrar will add some wording when you get to the end of the aisle to ask who gives you to this man or whatever it is they say) or to just be walked up the aisle without the 'giving away' bit. My sister walked with me and there was no giving away.

I think unless you choose to be 'given away' on the form, the latter will happen.

Indeed - just say no on the form and then on the day when you reach the end of the aisle, the person you've walked in with just sits down.

I had no form, in the meeting two seconds before the cereomy the registrar asked if I wanted my dad to formally give me away.

I said yes, having no idea what it meant!

As we walked to the aisle I told him and he said 'oh my god,more responsibility as well as the speech!" haha

As we walked arm in arm to the bottom, the registrar asked if he gave me to nick, he said "i do" and that was it.

It was brief but amazing and I recommend to anyone, doesnt matter who walks you down.

I asked my 19 year old son if he would give me away as my dad is no longer alive. His response was to say to h2b "take her, ....you can have her"! it was hilarious the way he said it then.....but I'm hoping he sticks to the conventional responses on the day!! This may be my second marriage, but I still want to be given away properly.

My eldest two children are giving me away and they cannot wait!! I keep telling them they'll have to move out if I don't belong to them any more lol

Thanks for all the replies I think I'm going to have it as part of my ceremony.