Free/subsidised bar

We are getting married in Scotland and wont have an open/free bar our costs are around 12k but that's hoping for 100 guests and honestly with ckvid its unlikely to happen... so might just be 10k with 50 guests. However we pay 100% ourselves so free bra is just not in budget. Also i am not a fan of the idea of people getting completely wasted at my wedding especially on my costs. We provide some drinks (wine with meal, welcome drink, fizz for toast) but who wants/ needs more can pay for themselves. However if your dad pays the majority of it I think he has a right to have a say tbh. And if that's important to him you likely should do it. After all he doesn't have to pay anything and his donation is generous. So if this is the one thing that he requests I guess its fair enough. And 9k won't be all spent on the bar bill (just limit the bar to beer, wine and softdrinks to keep costs down) so you still have quite a chunk going towards things you want (like band). I feel giving his offer its fair enough to expect you to compromise..... sorry likely not what you wanted to hear

Hiya, I’m based in London and we are having an open bar.
I don’t think there is a “done thing”. I’d say it’s been pretty much 60% of my friends weddings were open bar (or specific drinks eg wine, beer, soft drinks free but pay for spirit). Every family wedding I’ve attended has had an open bar.

I’d say ask your dad if the money he gave was to fund the bar and say you’d hoped to use it another way. Good luck.

View quoted message I guess no, not what I wanted to hear. But is what I expected. My fiancé is sober too so he really begrudges paying for everyone’s drinks. Maybe saying wine/beer only is a good alternative

View quoted message Wow maybe it’s regional - I don’t know of any of my friends who’ve had a paid bar! Then my Dad is a Londoner.

View quoted message Funnily enough all the open bars were in London and Somerset. The paid bars were Liverpool and manchester. Maybe it is regional ??‍♀️

View quoted message

I think you can still bring that down further to the Midlands. I have shot over 1,000 weddings and can only think of a handful of free bars.

Other options I have seen is a voucher option where each guest has a 2 or 3 drinks vouchers on their table. This solves the problem of putting a fixed amount of money behind the bar and the fast/big drinkers using up all the funds. You just have to decide how you feel about vouchers, but if you design them to fit in with your theme then I think it works.

I have seen plenty of "free bars" at tipi in a field type weddings where it is help yourself but that is not really a free bar as such. An interesting idea I came across was that it was an outside bar run by 2 people but all the drinks were supplied by the bride and groom and all drinks were £1 or £2 and that money went direct to the people running the bar. There are legal issues here but it was a proper licenced bar and they were friends of the couple.

I believe you can apply for a temporary licence yourself if you want to do similar or I have seen "honesty tins"

Essex bride here! We won't be having a free bar, our guests will be getting enough free alcohol throughout the day and as much as I want everyone to have a good time, I don't want everyone to get absolutely wasted. The drinks at my venue are very reasonable and if everyone is paying for their own drinks then people are more likely to pace themselves. I don't think that you have to give your guests a free bar at all, you've already paid for all of their food and drink for the day/evening and I think that's more than enough!

Something else to throw into the mix is if your venue has very expensive bar price. I do a lot of mingling - kind of not being there but capturing candid moments during which I have observed that guests really do not like it when the bar prices are ridiculously high. Its probably not something that couples think of when booking a venue.

Also there have been posts on this forum about brides who have been told the are being charged a corkage for empty bottles found after the wedding when perhaps guests already know about the high bar cost at that venue and take their own.

The funny thing is we (my fiancé and I) drink the most at weddings when there isn’t an open bar because I’ll buy wine by the bottle as it’s soooo much cheaper than the venues expensive by the glass prices so inadvertently drink far more.


Most venues worth their salt will manage unit measurements with a free bar. For us we want people to have a lovely day as well plus having been to so many weddings between outfits, hotels, hen dos and gifts the least the couple can do (if they can afford to) is a free or subsidised bar. That being said if every wedding I attended was a paid bar I might feel differently ??‍♀️. Sooo excited for the day!!

Personally, I would never arrive to a wedding expecting an open bar. It's nice enough to be invited in the first place so I would never expect to have my drinks paid for. I have been to one wedding that had an open bar, but that was aboard and it was much smaller (and a bit of a 'thankyou' for travelling so far to the wedding). That said, I still would never have expected a free bar and I don't think your guests will either.

I would love to have an open bar but it's just so much money. We have similar guest numbers to you and are already paying near on £110pp for people to attend all day. However we have agreed that if we come into any money between now and the wedding (fingers crossed for a scratch card or lottery win ha ha), then we will put that behind the bar.

One of my bridesmaids suggested something similar to the voucher idea mentioned above. Instead of doing favours, why not give you guests vouchers for 2 or 3 drinks? I think it's a great idea and I would be made up if a bride and groom did that at any wedding I attended!