Frustrated at family's lack of interest/support about our wedding

Sorry to hear how you are feeling at the moment. Maybe it might be an idea to have a good chat with your mum, stay calm and tell her exactly how you are feeling and tell her how important it is to have her support and how much it means to you to have your family in attendance at your wedding? Maybe try and get her involved in some of the planning etc?
Planning a wedding is a stressful time at the best of times without families being less than helpful. Best of luck for your special day.

It's not the 1900's anymore we don't all live in the same tiny village, people grow up and move away!!! You may well need to be a bit blunt with mother. I'm sure people will come to your wedding, once invites get sent and you speak/ see members of the family. They make a weekend of it! My best mate is flying over from Australia and we have a few friends who a staying an extra night so we can all spend time together.
Feel your frustration, while my mother isn't being negative she is not interested at all. Never asks about our wedding, I always have to start the conversation, never shows any excitement, hasn't said anything about MOB dress shopping asked about cakes, food....... etc etc 🙄 nothing. Unfortunately, I have to accept that's how it is.

My whole family are really uninterested too apart from 1 aunt who I'm really close with.

its my 2nd wedding so haven't invited cousins and Aunties I'm not close with anyway but my Mum and Dad are really uninterested, never asked a question, Dad said he won't walk me down the aisle etc he wasn't even coming until a few weeks ago (bearing in mind we are emotionally close, only live 5 mins away, we talk about everything else etc) all because Im getting married an hour away and he thinks that's ridiculous! (and I think deep down he doesn't agree with 2nd marriages but that's his issue not mine)

One thing I will say is March is still a while off (for others, I know if feels close for you) I found no one really talked about our wedding or acted interested excited (apart from best friends etc) until the invitations went out in September (3 months before the wedding)

Have you already send those out and still not had good energy levels from people?

Sending hugs. Weddings seem to bring out the worst in some people!

I know it's tough, but try not to let it get you down.

There will be some people who genuinely can't be there, who still love you.

And there will be others who just don't care enough to come. That hurts. But try to turn it round - why would you want them at your wedding if they don't care enough about you to bother coming?

It's far better to have a wedding with a few people who truly support you than one with hundreds who are just there for the food!

Hi!

I want to express my support to you. It so happened that we have a similar situation. The groom's dad will not come, and neither will his grandparents on his father's and my mother's side. His father's sister also refused, although we were on good terms with them. Maybe they will change their mind, but I don't feel that they are happy for us. My situation is even more complicated - I invited my grandparents from my mother's side (I never knew them from my father's side). They lived together for 42 years and divorced 2 years ago. I want to see them both, but grandma won't come if grandpa is there, and he doesn't want to see her either. I don't want them to be uncomfortable, but I love them both and don't know what to do!

My fiancé told me not to worry and to have a good time with those who will share it with us. I constantly remember his words and it becomes easier for me. The fact that people did not want to come is not your fault.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. And you've got the support of many of us here.


Quick question. Have you sent out invites yet? Because some of this back and forth would be eliminated if you've had RSVPs. If they're being like this now, perhaps ask them to RSVP earlier than you planned so you know how the land lies. They won't know any different and then you have an excuse to chase non responders on your side ofnthe family without it messing up take plans etc.
Also, if you want your neices to be flower girls why not arrange it with their parents directly?
Have to agree with another poster. Might be time to have a stern conversation with the mum/family. Otherwise, you'll just give yourself more stress living in limbo and not knowing what's going on, who’s coming etc.
Big hugs. Don't let them ruin your wedding day. Lean into your into your partner's support and the joy his family is showing.

Those that matter, don't mind and those that mind, don't matter.

If your wedding is an inconvenience, then perhaps you can offer a live streamed version of it.

The upside is, you dont have to deal with them at the reception either then and it will save you a fortune per head on the food!

The clue is in the title,,,

Its YOUR wedding day!!

Hi,
Your post really resonated with me. I'm getting married on 26th March in Scottish Borders. My Dad who I'm not particularly close to made a big thing about the wedding to the point that when he got ill and literally nearly died in August last year he was making out that focusing on the wedding was what would help his recovery. He has made a miraculous recovery but has made his excuses. He spoke to my Mum and I know the real reason is that he is too mean to pay accommodation costs for himself at the venue and is not happy he can't stay with us for free before and after the wedding because my future stepchildren will be with us and there is no room. He also baulked at the idea of being expected to get us a wedding present. He isn't contributing anything towards the wedding - we don't expect anyone to. Seems to think we are selfish holding our wedding in the Scottish Borders despite it not making a huge difference to him as he lives in Germany anyway so just a case of him flying to Glasgow instead of Bristol. Although in many ways it will be less stressful with him not being there, it's quite upsetting that he's not bothered at all. As it's getting closer feel like everything is getting too much! Hope your wedding goes well despite everything xx