Funeral readings. Any tips?

I think the memories idea is a lovely one. A relative of H's died very suddenly at the beginning of the year, and a couple of his friends stood up and told the congregation about a few of the memories they had of him, some funny, some relating to his wife, children etc, and it was really lovely to hear, and also added a 'happier' (for want of a better word) to the occasion. It also felt alot more personal aswell.

It's absolutely up to you what you say. If you want to talk about your memories then that's fine. In fact, I think that's the best option as memories and feelings are what it's all about. I hope it goes well.

At my dad's funeral, the Minister did a quick overview of his life so the other speeches were more personal - what he meant to them, specific memories etc, rather than what he did with his years. I think it would be lovely it you wrote something along these lines.

I'm so sorry for your loss ?

Sorry for your loss.

The eulogy is usually written and delivered by the closest relative so I guess your dad, aunt or uncle but could easily be divided up between a number of people, each speaking about a different period in your grandfather's life or their own memories of him. This is what we did at my father's funeral and it worked well.

I did a reading at my grandmother's funeral called You can shed tears that I have gone.

You can shed tears that I’ve gone
or you can smile because I’ve lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that I’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all I’ve left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see me
or you can be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember me and only that I’ve gone
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what I’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Sorry to intrude but I did a reading at my grans funeral and I lliked this

Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

And this one, which I read, but it did make me cry

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I, and you are you:
Whatever we were to each other, we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name;
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone;
Wear no air of solemnity or sorrow;
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we enjoyed together;
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever
The household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect;
Without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you,
For an interval, somewhere, very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.

And of course, I meant to say condolences to you

x

If you are looking for a religious reading the Letter of St Paul to the Corinthians says:-

I want you to be happy, always happy in the Lord,

I repeat, what I want is your happiness.

Let your tolerance be evident to everyone, the Lord is very near.

There is no need to worry, but if there is anything you need,

pray for it, asking God for it with prayer and thanksgiving,

and that peace of God, which is so much greater than we can understand,

will guard your hearts and your thoughts, in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, fill your minds with everything that is true,

everything that is noble,

everything that is good and pure, everything that we love and honour,

and everything that can be thought virtuous or worthy of praise.

Keep doing all the things that you learnt from me and have been taught by me

and have heard or seen that I do.

Then the God of peace will be with you.

? so sorry for your loss.

I did the eulogy at my gran's funeral just over a year ago. Mum had thought none of the family could do it and she was going to ask the minister, the usual minister being a friend of ours but he was on holiday and it was a different minister, and before I knew what I was saying I was saying I was going to do it as I wasn't having a stranger talking about her.

I did a bit of both, summarising about her life and her family, and then talking about some memories I had of her. I was really worried at how I'd hold it together as I am very emotional at the best of times. I practiced reading it aloud loads, and I think that helped. I got through it absolutely fine, I know my mum was worried that I'd end up a snivelling mess and it would be a disaster. But I think I did my gran proud and I am sure you will do your grandfather proud ?

Having a back up plan is a good idea. Mine was to email the eulogy to the minister, so that if I struggled, or even just felt on the day that I couldn't do it, all I had to do was give the nod and then he would step in and just read it for me. I think it helped knowing I had that extra reassurance.

Good luck with it. I am sure that although it will be difficult and emotional, you will manage admirably and all your family will be proud ?

? sorry for your loss

i don't know how relevant this is, but after my Gran's funeral, the family had a meal and my dad read Christan Rossetti's poem "Remember". It was especially poignant to us because my Gran had been quite ill with dementia for many years before she passed away.

Remember REMEMBER me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you plann'd: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.

Sorry to hear about your Grandad.

I've done one at my Dad's funeral (his only living relatives are me & my sister) and my Grandad's (only living relatives are me, sis, and Mum). I can send you them if you like?

Thinking of you.

Sorry didn't get on earlier, laptop battery went.

Thanks for all the replies, some of those poems have had me blubbing now (damn pregnancy hormones!) so might prove a little tricky in front of people.

I think I'll probably talk about mine and my brother's memories of him, we're the only grandchildren so hopefully it won't offend anyone. I have a couple of amusing anecdotes and a few more poignant ones so hopefully I'll get the balance right. He was sooooo excited that he was going to be a great-grandad too, I think I'll probably mention that as well.

He was ill with cancer for a while so his death was expected and I think that's made it a bit easier to deal with. He was 83 too so not a spring chicken.

Thanks all ?