Fussy eaters

The hotel shouldn't take her request, and you can call them to confirm that. It is rude for her to suggest that she calls to arrange her own food.

I agree this is rude. The hotel should certainly not agree to change anything in your wedding at the request of a guest. When she inevitably comes back to you after the hotel won't take her on I would say something like 'I'm sorry but because we are catering for so many people we can't offer any individual person a different meal.' I mean you can't go giving her a different meal just because she's fussy as it wouldn't be fair to the other guests some of whom might prefer what she got which wasn't an option for them. I agree it's totally different if she was vegan/ celiac/ lactose intolerant or something.

I agree she is being rude, and I would certainly tell the venue to refer anyone who contacts them directly about food back to you.

We've got 3 choices for each course and my family have been bitching about what we've chosen and I've told them to suck it up or starve (and I don't actually care which they do!) - harsh but necessary. The only person I'm allowing to be fussy is our friend with a dairy allergy, because if we get that wrong we could kill him!

I agree with the others, it's very rude. It's one meal, I'm sure she won't starve! Even if she just picks at what is on the plate!

Totally agree. Rude. I don't understand why anyone would think it's ok for them to contact your venue and arrange a different meal for herself. Don't understand why a venue would do it which I don't think they will without your confirmation anyway. Imagine if 100 guests were all ringing the venue with special requests. Also agree other guests may wonder why she got something they couldn't have.

they have choices. I've been to plenty of weddings where the meal is the meal like it or lump it and no choices at all. And that's what we did liked it or lumped it. I don't believe for one second that out of three meals there is nothing she likes. You order the meal you dislike the least and eat the bits you like and leave the rest and with three courses to pick at you at least eat something. Not to mention she knows in advance. Shove a sandwich or chocolate in your bag to keep you going till later.

wouldnt cause a scene with h2b would just ring the venue and tell them they are not to do it. Tell anyone if they ring that unfortunately the menu is sorted. Then it looks like them and not you.

Have you kids attending? A kids meal organised? If so tell her her only option is the nugget and chips lol.

I'm getting the same about our menu and we're giving choices. One of them is a bridesmaid! Told me she doesn't like mushrooms and so won't eat most of it, I told her to pick them out or go hungry! You put a lot of time and effort into organising your wedding day and when it comes down to it it's your day and you choose what your both happy with. You can't let others dictate what you should and shouldn't do. And totally agree with the others, the venue won't action her request without consulting you and I think she's got a massive cheek to even try!!

I'm glad it's not just me then that thinks she's being a bit of a princess! I've emailed the hotel saying please refer anyone that requests a different meal back to us and we will sort at our next meeting. I'm loathe to cater to her fussiness. Apparently she hates salmon and pork. I asked h2b what's wrong with the veggie option then. I think what I'll do is ask hotel to throw a chicken breast on her plate in place of the pork rather than a whole separate dish. That way they aren't having to cater to her too much.

We're not having kids at the wedding, otherwise I'd tell her she could have a kids meal to shut her up. Honestly, there's always one isn't there!

Do people chose on the day or in advance? I think you need to consider how many people would say I would have rather had chicken. I would rather have one disgruntled guest than more either being disgruntled or wondering why she is so special. I personally wouldn't cater to her. How much do I bet she will still find fault with the chicken. Not her favourite, a bit dry, etc etc. quite a bit I think lol. I also think I personally would prefer her being disgruntled to her smug look that she got her own way. I wouldn't let her undermine me on principal but that's just me digging my heels in. If you decided to go that route I would use the argument of others not being given the choice of a fourth option and it causing problems or bad feeling on the day. Venue issues it's already been organised etc. however I'm not preaching you do what you think is best for you. Good luck with it xx

I would love to tell her it's the choices or nothing. It's choose in advance and tick what you're having when sending the rsvp back. Apparently she said to h2b Oh just don't feed me, it's fine, I don't want you paying for food for me that I can't eat. She knows we are paying for a certain amount of people, a package, not individually as she had her own reception there. If I say to h2b it's like it or lump it, he will get the hump. Only thing I think I can do is get the hotel to say it for me. But then am I being sneaky by doing that? I just hate to have her get her way over this as she's such a little princess honestly I can't stand her!

Comes across as a troublemaker as you say she's caused problems and arguments before. Maybe she's jealous of you and wants to exert her power of their friendship between you and him? Do what makes your life easier. Orrrr is there a menu option that not many people have chosen. Can you swop that option to chicken? So it's not just her having it.

We've had around half of our rsvp's back already so can't really do that. Think the easiest option is the pork meal but with a chicken breast on it and all sides the same so the chefs aren't doing a whole different meal for her. Sounds like she wants the chicken supreme which she had at her own wedding. Well I can't imagine the chefs will want to make up one chicken supreme while already doing everyone else's food!

I don't know why h2b panders to it. I said already to him would you say that at someone else's wedding and he said no, he'd just eat what he likes off the plate and leave the rest. So he knows she's being fussy but he always defends her. I don't think she particularly likes me, she can probably tell I think she's a bit of an idiot lol. This isn't the first time she's done something like this and it's always things that concern h2b and me, but she never asks me too and he always caters to her. It's more than frustrating!

Why not ring the venue when h2b isn't there and ask what their position is if people are being offered the choice of three menus and still saying they will want a different meal and saying they will ring them direct.

if they are not happy about it then that's your answer. The venue won't do it.

It sounds like you've found a compromise in swapping the pork for chicken.

Can I ask what the menu is?

These are our choices for main course:

Steamed salmon fillet on wilted spinach, herbed parmentier potatoes with a tomato and tarragon hollandaise

Pork fillet rolled in thyme and parsley, on a butternut squash puree, served with baked duchess potatoes and port jus

Roasted butternut squash and spinach pastry tart, topped with pine nuts, served with ratatouilles and new potatoes (V)

It's the cheek of it, saying Oh I'll call the hotel and get them to make me something else. No you won't. This isn't your wedding! I wouldn't dream of kicking up a fuss like that at even a close friends wedding!

Those dishes sound amazing!

H2b and I thought so too. Apparently not for this woman though! I'm of course willing to cater for dietary intolerances, we have a coeliac coming etc. But she's just being fussy.

Give her the veggie option - sounds gorgeous. She can always fill up with extra potatoes and vegetables if she doesn't like it.

this woman is rude and manipulative. I advise against pandering to her.

I do think you need to have a conversation with your oh about him supporting you, especially with decisions you'd made together and agreed on.

I tend to just ask for either no sauce or sauce separately if I'm fussy about something then I can taste before I decide whether to add it. I know she is saying she doesn't like 'posh' food but it's only how these places word the menu. There is nothing wildly strange there no matter how fussy an eater you are. And there are two other courses even if she only picks at one of those.

Shes just stirring it.

Can I have the pork please? Sounds really yum and I'm a fussy eater!

Does your OH perhaps have history with this girl? Is she an ex? I'd personally would be fuming at him for pandering to her needs, although he prob just wants a quiet life. If she has caused issues in the past, why was she invited?

Your menu sounds lovely, and its great you have so many choices. It certainly doesn't sound posh! If she continues moaning, I'd suggest that she will obvioulsy have a terrible time, so best she doesn't come!

She's not an ex. She's been with her OH about 3 years, same as me and h2b and she married hers in May. H2b has known her about a year. She's just one of those who seems to be very precious and thinks everyone should go out of their way for her. Like we recently moved house and she asked him could she use our address so she can use the doctor in our area as they were better than hers. Well tough cookies, her doctor is fine she's just being fussy again. She's that type of woman and I've not got the time or patience for it.

Your menu sounds absolutely divine. You're giving your guests so much choice already by offering three choices. I went to a wedding last year where they only had one option for each course and chose duck for the main which is pretty risky in my opinion!

Do not pander to her, she sounds like a complete pain in the bum. Make sure she's sitting on a table no where near you so you don't have to look at her when the food comes out!

Oh god yes, definately make sure she's so far away she can't start giving hubby the oh poor me sort it out please looks. Hopefully if she starts moaning someone at her table will shut her down!

Yes, ideally sit her in a dark corner, behind a large pole and facing away from your table!

That menu looks great! And she sounds like a total nightmare. Honestly, I would be inclined to tell her just to do one.

Mr C doesn't eat cheese - he's not lactose intolerant or anything, he just hates it and it's in lots of things, including veggie options! It's not too much trouble at weddings though, as most places offer a non-dairy option that he can have.

Believe me, I'd love to say that but it's not just down to me, she's h2b's friend and I'm certain she would just tell him what I said. The hotel have said to me that they will refer anyone who requests anything different back to me and I'm waiting to hear from them what their stance is on requests outside the menu that aren't due to allergies. I'm so hoping they say no! I'd tell her not to bother coming, but again, not down to me. The more I see or hear of her the more I dislike her. I wouldn't dream of complaining about someone's wedding menu, not even to my closest friends of 20 odd years! It's just plain rude.

Oh my she sounds like a nightmare! Your menu sounds lovely and it's generous enough to have 3 options as it is! Most weddings I have been to have 2 options:

Option 1: Take it!

Option 2: Leave it!

I know I don't know her or you but I would be too stubborn to pander to her, it wouldn't be fair on your other guests. How close is H2B to her? Would he really be that upset if you put her straight? She is being very unreasonable :-(

Stand in front of a mirror and with a totally innocent look on your face practice saying to H2b ...... Maybe she would feel more comfortable just coming to the evening? After all we can't change the whole wedding menu to suit just one person.

because you know what, this person isn't going to be content with the pork removed from her plate and a piece of chicken on there instead. She's still going to moan about the 'posh' bed of this or purée that and sauce.

If you give in and order a different meal please make sure it's beans on toast. Lol. Show her up.

She is lucky there are choices! our venue only allows one option (apart from vegi/ dietary requirements).

if she likes one of the starters - could she not just have 2 of those? personally though, id be telling her where to stick it. if she goes hungry then tough. the menu decision is hard enough to make as it is without someone twisting their face.

we havent told anyone the menu - they will find out on the day.

This is rude, if someone has an allergy or a specific dietary requirement then of course changes can be made and the venue would be able to do this.

Most weddings I've been to have a set menu and you get what you are given so its nice you are even giving people an option (we aren't as the venue have said its set so we can't) but a few times I haven't liked part of the menu at others weddings but I eat the parts I do like and would never ever dream of saying anything about it to anyone, especially the bride and groom!

You are paying for her meal, she shouldnt be so ungrateful and should appreciate all the time, effort and money thats gone into the day.

I'd be tempted to tell her to do one!

Believe me, if I could tell her then I would! She's H2B's friend though, and he doesn't see what a manipulative cowbag she is. She said to him apparently 'oh I don't want you paying for a meal I don't like so i'll go without.' She knows perfectly well that we pay for a package, not individual meals, as she had her reception at the same place. It's such manipulative behaviour to try and get what she wants. 'Oh please don't pay for a meal for me. Oh ok, well i'll call the hotel myself then, they know me there.' She seems to think the world revolves around her and it's very frustrating that H2B doesn't see it, he just thinks I'm being bitchy if I say anything about her. She puts on this cute little act and it obviously works! She seems to have more male friends than female, I think because women can see through the act, and men just drop everything to help her. And she wonders why she has no female friends!

She's supposed to be coming around to our with her OH this weekend for a BBQ. I'm tempted to say something about it then, I just need to find a diplomatic way of doing it and playing her at her own game in a way that H"B doesn't just think I'm being a ***... suggestions welcomed!!