Fussy eaters

I think definately say something. Do it in a way that makes it look to the men that you're trying to be helpful whereas you know and she will probably know that you're on to her game.

you could say that as you already have three options on the menu the venue aren't seeming very keen on making exceptions and even if they did it could cause problems with other guests who may have preferred yet a fourth option she is being offered. It's such a shame sort of thing. Hmmm what to do. Go on to say it's really nice of her to offer to just not eat but if she is a guest you have to pay for her meal whether she eats one or not. Perhaps as she really doesn't like any of the offered menus and doesn't want to be any bother it might suit her better to just come to the evening do.

get out of that one ***!!!!

Make sure you cook something fancy at the BBQ that she won't like. Or invite them round the day before the wedding and make sure you give her food poisoning.

She sounds like a right piece. Honestly, if my OH was putting a female friend's wants ahead of my concerns I'd be less than understanding.

There's already some good advice here. Stick to your guns on this one, she isn't going to be happy whatever you do so don't bother.

Anyone (excluding those with *genuine* dietary requirements who can't choose from three options (which sound delicious btw) is frankly an attention seeking drama queen.

It's hard as he seems to think I don't like her out of jealousy of their friendship. It's not that at all. He has other female friends I get on with great, I'm even friends with one of his exes! It's the fact she's such a little princess. OH is so stubborn too so if I kick up a fuss, it will cause an argument. She's the only thing we argue over! I honestly don't understand their friendship, he says he hates people who are fussy or demanding, yet she is all that and he doesn't see it. Very very frustrating for me ?

I would have a massive issue with my OH if he took the side of a friend who is unreasonable over me. Furthermore, they've only been friends for a year or so it sounds.

Marriage is a partnership. You guys need to work through issues together.

This. I'd be livid. Tell her if she wants to choose her own food then she can pay for her own food.

We are having a very small wedding, and knew one of our guests was a fussy eater, so we did try to accommodate him (the venue was fine with it) but we told him what the menu would be and he loved it.

We chose lamb for our main, so we asked our guests if they eat lamb and if not they can have the veggie option instead. (As we cannot give several choices of mains, we can just cater for allergies, vegetarian/vegan and fussy eaters.)

We had one guest of 10 take us up on that, she's having the veggie dish, along with one other guest who is actually vegetarian.

I would also give her the veggie dish, if she doesn't like salmon or pork. I don't eat fish but the pork & veggie options sound scrummy to me. I wouldn't even cater to her demands with chicken, as that might make other guests wonder why they didn't get that option.

Besides, I don't think that food sounds overly posh (maybe compared to a pub meal?), it's not like you're serving very unusual cuts of meat. Our venue's menu was actually a bit posh which made it a bit difficult for us, but that's because they had things like liver and oxtail and tongue etc. on the menu.

Salmon and pork fillet are pretty much everyday fish/meat, not unusual at all!

I'm thinking the most diplomatic way to deal with this is to tell her that I've spoken to the hotel and as they are already making 8 different dishes along with food for the photographer, musicians etc and the evening buffet, that they can only cater for intolerances such as gluten or nut allergies. So basically choose from the menu and stop being a diva.

Well done. That. Or bring a packed lunch or just attend in the evening. Job done. Not your fault please note hubby you've tried your best.

If h2b brings the subject up again just say you think it's ridiculous but you've tried your best to sort it and it is what it is. She can come and eat, come and not eat or come later but you have too much else to do to keep rehashing a menu for one guest who isn't even one of your parents or has a medical reason for it.

Completely unacceptable for her to ring the venue, quite frankly who does she think she is!

i would be straight with her and tell her those are the choices available and if she doesn't like it, she is more than welcome not to eat, thus saving you money!

I said last night I've called the hotel and they will let me know if they can do it or not. Cue the following conversation:

OH: They should do it, we're paying enough money
Me: Well we are already providing 8 choices. It's pretty cheeky to ask for something else...
OH: So she should have to go without out eat food she doesn't like?
Me: Can't you see that it's a bit impolite to say what she said?
OH: She knows the chefs there
Me: (Getting very annoyed at this point) That's not the point, if she can't eat meat or fish, have the veggie option of butternut squash
OH: She probably doesn't know what that is
Me: ...and that's my problem how? I would never ask someone to sort me a meal just because I'm fussy! We could have quite easily not offered choices
OH: *gets the hump and storms off*
Me: I'm sick of you always pandering to her and picking her side on everything. She's acting spoiled and you're just allowing it AGAIN.

So yeah. It continued and he's still not speaking to me today. I won't apologise over this. My view now is give the little cow chicken, I'm past caring, but after the wedding I want nothing further to do with her. OH can do what he wants, but I don't want to know about it, she won't exist to me any more. I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of him always making me out to be the bad guy and defending her.

Ok here's my tenpenceworth for what it's worth.

A. What the hells he on.

B. I wouldn't order her a chicken I would draw a line under it here and now. Let him order precious a meal she will eat. If you don't do it and you don't tell him to do it then it probably won't get done.

C. She's loving every minute of it.

So sorry you're having to put up with this cr@p.

She sounds like a dog whistle girl: http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/relationships/a24736/beware-dog-whistle-girl/

I've never heard of that before, all very true though even to her having a very overweight bridesmaid and saying to me I don't have many female friends, I tend to get on with men better!!

Sorry to say it but I would be furious if I was you. Why does he care so much about someone he's only known a year, way less than he's known you - and more to the point, someone who he isn't getting married to? It's not necessarily about taking sides but at the end of the day, especially when it's about your wedding, why is he 'taking her side'?

I wouldn't be offering her the chicken. She can pick one of the three she likes the least, and eat around the stuff she doesn't want.

I don't get this as it's a complete non sequitir. Regardless of whether she knows the bloody Queen, it is impolite to tell someone that you don't like the food they have chosen and will go above their heads to arrange something different cos you're such a special snowflake. I am a vegan and I wouldn't make this much fuss, I just carry a cereal bar in my bag and/or stop for chips on my way home. The fact your OH doesn't see or acknowledge this is worrying - is he gonna continue letting her get away with crap after you're married? This needs to be nipped in the bud. It isn't about food anymore, it's that he is prepared to put her needs/wants above yours.

He's so stubborn, he won't back down on this as no matter what I say, he genuinely doesn't think she's done anything wrong or cheeky.

I think for my own sanity, I just don't bother with her any more after the wedding. She's his friend, I don't need to see her ever again. SO he can do what he wants and if he mentions her to me again, i'll just politely say that I don't want to be involved as it has caused rows in the past so please don't involve her in my life. He's free to pander to her as much as he wants, but I want nothing more to do with it.

I also don't think he would do it for anyone else. I wouldn't alter her meal I would point blank refuse. I would also say to my OH that if he does it he better ring every other guest on the list as I'm sure some of them might prefer something else but are too polite to say.

Ey... how bizarre! Some girls are just the helpless types that arouse sympathy in men. It's sad.

You're doing the right thing by not letting it bother you. Ignore her going forward that's probably the best you can do.

What i will say is that your OH is behaving no better than she is. giving you the silent treatment because of that seems massively over the top to me and quite manipulative. You need to sit him down and explain that if he has a problem he needs to discuss it with you and not storm off and not discuss it. He hasn't actually explained what he is so upset about. Other than you disagreeing there is no problem between you directly. What the heck is he on?

I think he's fed up of us arguing over her too but he thinks I'm being unreasonable. I did say if we cater to one fussy guest, what about everyone else? We chose a menu for a reason. It fell on deaf ears though. The sun shines out of this womans arse and nothing I say will change that. That dog whistle girl article could not have been more accurate!

She is definitely being rude. I've personally been shocked at how people think they can take over someone else's big day with their opinions with my own planning and sympathise! It's your day so great idea to contact the hotel yourself.

My OH just read this thread with me and he's horrified that your fiance is pandering to her. Three choices is MORE than sufficient. We can offer 2 starters, 2 mains plus veggie and 2 desserts and we expect everyone to eat it or eat sufficient beforehand that they won't be hungry. As for not knowing what a butternut squash is, I'd be tempted to present her with a plate of alphabites and turkey dinosaurs and make her look like a right idiot.

My OH read it too and was amazed. And no. He wouldn't give one person a different meal or pander to a friend like this.

The only thing I can think then is that he thinks it's personal, as I initially had an issue with her because they would be constantly messaging each other and it would bug me when he was messaging her when he was with me doing something with me. I think he now thinks I'm just looking for reasons to have a go about her, but I've really tried to be nice. Went for dinner with just her, said invite them over for a bbq etc. I can't help that I don't like her, and him pandering to her every whim when she's being a princess doesn't help! It's just very upsetting that he seems to value her opinion over mine every time. Hey ho, what can I do. I can either let her have what she wants and then be done with her, or the row will continue! She can do no wrong in his eyes!

Does this girl think she's a VIP because she had her wedding at the same venue? Someone needs to clue her in that she's a paying customer like all the rest and they've already taken her money. I highly doubt the hotel will be concerned with pleasing someone whose cheque they've already cashed. The current customer, the bride, is the one the venue will be interested in catering to.

If I were you I'd just tell everyone it's been taken care of without giving any additional details and then order the vegetarian meal for her. If she has the nerve to make a fuss after the fact just say the venue provides one meal for those with dietary restrictions, so that's what you gave her since she didn't feel she could eat the other two options. Or even better, tell the venue you'll pay the adult price but could she have the children's meal instead. I think she's using "too posh" when she really means "adult food".

How old is this woman? I was brought up in the 80s in a northern working class traditional-english-food-eating household, and I know what butternut squash is.

Have you considered what your cooking at the BBQ she's coming to? Can I suggest pork, salmon and maybe a vegetarian option of butternut squash. Take that ***!

Don't put up with it. OH should be supporting you on this, hope you sort it out.

We spoke about it again last night and he genuinely doesn't see the issue. His view is well it's a hotel with restauran, they would cook a variety of dishes on any other day so why can't they. If we won't cater for someone who doesn't like the options, they shoukd also tell people with allergies to eat the sides too. His two friends he work with also apparently think it's fine to ask this. I said well I believe it's impolite and we will have to agree to disagree. Give her what she wants, I can't be bothered to argue over it any more but I don't like her and I'm having no more to do with her. If she has any more requests, he can deal with them himself and I don't want to know.

I don't get it. That's THE MENU. You order something off THE MENU. It's not a restaurant as such it's a wedding.

you wouldn't walk into A RESTAURANT and say I don't like anything on your menu. Can I have shepherds pie instead please. Would you?

I don't get his two colleagues see nothing wrong with it either. Not if they know ITS NOT A BLOODY RESTAURANT.

I would have torn all my hair out by now. Deep breaths is all I can say. X

Wow sounds a bit heated and mental - I wouldn't give in either in fact my brother told us he didn't like any of our food (which was seafood or vegetarian paella) so he didn't eat it, got given some oatcakes by my mum instead!

I was at a wedding at the weekend - food wouldn't be my first choice but I ate it and it was fine - I never understand melon as a starter..... I felt fussy enough by not eating meat and being intolerant to wheat as it puts most veggie options out (goats cheese tart etc)

Urgh give the little brat chicken nuggets and chips ? on another note I'd be fuming with my partner. I bet these people that agree with him and Princess are men who have been dog whilsted by her also!