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Beginner June 2026 Kent

Future sister in laws as bridesmaids

Lauren, 12 January, 2025 at 20:19 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 1

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I am looking for some advice! My partner has 3 siblings, I have one, he has 2 sisters and 1 brother. His brother is going to be an usher. His youngest sister is the same age as me and in the early days of our relationship we went out together all the time & were very close. She then got engaged to someone who wasn’t very pleasant fell out with her brother and we stopped speaking for a while. This was a good 3/4 years ago. We’re on good terms now and talk regularly and she’s a great auntie to my boys. I feel like I should ask her to be bridesmaid. I’m not however close with eldest sister, she is lovely, I have no issues with her at all, she’s just a lot older & has her own life to lead. I don’t want her as a bridesmaid but my partner thinks it’s unfair to have one without the other. I however disagree as we’re involving both of his eldest sisters children as bridesmaids and ushers and my only sibling (my brother) isn’t involved at all.

What would you do in this situation? I don’t want to offend her at all but I feel having her daughter as my bridesmaid should be good enough?

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Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, yesterday at 10:04

VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · Yesterday at 10:04
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I can see why you wouldn't want his sister to be bridesmaid if you are not that close to her but I can also see his point that inviting one of his sisters and not the other might come across as hurtful.
If you definitely want the younger sister as bridesmaid and don't want to risk offence, then it would be wise to give the older sister the opportunity of being bridesmaid too. But I would present it in a way that makes it obvious you won't mind if she declines, as the last thing you want is her accepting because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings when you don't really want her in the first place! In your place, I would have a conversation with her along the lines of wanting her to feel included in the wedding but being aware that with both her kids in the wedding party, being a bridesmaid might be a bit too much hassle on top, so would she prefer to do a reading/be a witness/whatever other role you think of or would she prefer just to relax and enjoy the day as a guest.
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